Longform on Dandelion-Utilitarian

Book Club: Dungeon crawler carl

Tue, 16 Jun 2026 20:40:46 +0100

I picked up Dungeon Crawler Carl on Audible a few months ago when I had a spare credit and fancied something more fun than the pretty dark science fiction I was in a hole with at the time.

I pressed play on the first book a little over a week ago. I am now on book four. This is the most fun I have had with a series since Magic 2.0 (which I loved and banged on about for months.)

So, before I go into hopefully spoiler free ramping, here is the link to the author’s web-page.

What is it?

It’s a series of (currently) 8 books, about a man named Carl. He’s in a pickle because the world ended when aliens flattened every structure on the planet and created a dungeon underground, which is a game show. He has to fight to live, but there are level up and magic and special events… yeah, it’s a LitRPG, but it’s an excellent one that doesn’t require you are familiar with the genre.

Carl doesn’t have any trousers, or shoes, and he took a cat in there with him. The cat is a main character of the book. Her name is Princess Donut. I adore her (and I don’t even like cats.)

Why is it so good?

Because the author, Matt Dinniman takes a stupid idea and rather than trying to elevate it right away, he plays into it. It’s a fun romp that doesn’t get dull. The action is almost never-ending but written masterfully (for the genre.) It remains entertaining and is constantly evolving. The characters are developed at a satisfyingly even pace and every time you think you have seen it all, something new and messed up happens. It is not at all what I expected when I began the series.

I really like the usually low-brow LitRPG genre, so I was an easy sell, but this is actually a LitRPG for people who are not knee-deep in them already. It uses all the usual tropes of the genre, yes, but it does so in a more natural and sensible way than the usual ‘character sheet every chapter’ stories. It doesn’t commit the crime of forgetting its premise after two chapters. It’s great.

Is it all good?

No. It’s hyper violent, has dubious morality, and is playfully nihilistic at times. I think, when the series is done, it may end up being a tragedy, of sorts. But, it’s very funny, charming, and entertaining.

If you are put off by violence in your books or are bored by action writing, you may want to skip this series.

I have nothing bad to say about it, apart from book 3 gets a bit confusing at times; however, I enjoyed it greatly. So I don’t know if that’s relevant.

Anything else I should know?

The audiobook is wonderfully performed and gives a lot of character to it. This is one of those books that I think may be better in audio form. I have a feeling it would be more chore-ish to read than listen to. That said, I ordered the hardback of the first one for my daughter, so I may give it a read, and find out.

I adore it and will be reading/listening to the whole series gleefully.

My desk Updated for 2026

Sat, 09 May 2026 14:21:47 +0100

Regular readers will be aware of this ‘series’ (series probably isn’t the right word) where I photograph my desk about once every six months and talk about what’s on it, current software/hardware choices and habits. This series is more for me than you. I want to be able to look back on it one day and go, ‘wow, look how my desk has changed!’ Because, I am a nerd. Obviously.

This chronicling is something I enjoy very much and have noticed some trends already, as well as some returning hardware.

Anyway, here is the desk as of this morning, the ninth of May twenty twenty-six.

My desk has more on it than I would actually like; however, it’s quite utilitarian. No plants, no books, no trinkets.

Monitor: We have my old 34-inch Samsung ultra-wide making a return, this was sent to me by a friend, literally years ago. For a long time, it was on top of my wardrobe, but recently, I wanted a screen which wasn’t on my desk so I could watch movies while I draw.

There was a TV on that wall, but I got out my trusty drill and replaced it with the minitor which is screwed to the wall via a mounting plate. It’s a little higher than you would normally mount once, but I wanted it to be above the iPad when it is in my SketchBoard Pro drawing tray (more on that later.)

There is one USBC cable which comes from the monitor. It provides power as well as pictures (and sound, but the speakers are ‘meh’ so I mostly don’t use them)

Laptop: The laptop is still my 13-inch MacBook Air M2, with 1 TB of storage and 16 GB of Unified memory. I have been very tempted to replace it, but it’s more FOMO than need. In truth, if Vellum was available on iPad, I probably wouldn’t even need a laptop. I am just so used to having a ‘real’ computer that I keep telling myself it’s a requirement, when, in reality, I use my iPad quite a lot more than my laptop.

When it’s at the desk it stays closed, and I use it via that one single USBC cable which comes from my monitor.

Input devices: My keyboard is an Apple Magic Keyboard With number pad and Touch ID… That may be the least Apple product name ever. ☺️ It’s a thin membrane keyboard with Touch ID (the main reason I use it over others) and I have now used it for ages, I purchased it (used) on 26 Nov 2023. I think it may be the longest I have used a keyboard without the desire to switch.

In the photo, you can see my Magic Trackpad. I have a Magic Mouse too, and whichever one is currently on my desk is my favourite. I switch between them every few weeks. Usually when one needs charging, I switch to the other. I have no preference between them, they are both excellent input devices which only make sense on an Apple device. I think switching between them as I do is likely good for my wrist.

The mouse, I find, overall better for precision stuff like photo or video editing, while the trackpad is better for web browsing and general desktop stuff.

I have tried having both on the desk, but it just feels cluttered. If one broke I would just use the other, not sure if that is insightful, but I think it testifies to my lack of real preference. Both of these use Lightning connectors. These and the keyboard are the last non-USBC devices I own.

Audio: I got the AirPods Max headphones a few weeks ago when I was an interesting mix of annoyed that my Marshal Majors wasn’t charged and a little depressed. I strive for minimalism, but when I’m feeling a down, ordering new things really does cheer me up. I try not to let the urge create clutter, and I had been eyeballing the Max headphones ever since the version 2 was released.

Anyway, they are an absurd amount of money for ear speakers, but I basically live in headphones when I’m at my desk. They are, phenomenal! Though, I am sure there are better and cheaper choices out there. I am mostly using either my iPad or my MacBook and the way they magically switch, depending on which device I’m using, is fab, and it makes them the best devices for my needs (they were so expensive! I am not proud of how much I spent)

I also have AirPod 4 earbuds with ANC, those are my out of the house noisemakers, they come with me to work, gym and dog walks. I didn’t get the AirPods Pro’s because I don’t like the little rubber tips. They make my ears itchy. The non-pro’s have formed plastic tips which don’t penetrate your ear.

The final sound device I have isn’t in the picture. The other side of the room on a shelf is a DOSS Soundbox it’s a really nice bluetooth speaker with a good battery life and rich sound. I’m not an audiophile, but it sounds great to me.

iPad: The iPad is shown as being off to the side in this picture, which is where it is by default. I often pull it forward and use it like a laptop. Occasionally, I even plug the monitor into it because it’s so low effort to do. The Magic Keyboard which it ‘lives’ on has a power cable sticking out of it so it’s a convenient place to charge it. I use my iPad so much, I draw, read, write, watch things, make notes, use my Bible study app. It is most almost every task, my default device. I am constantly baffled by the ‘influencers’ 🤢 who constantly talk about having macOS on it or talk about how it’s not a useful device. I think it’s my favourite computer!

One of the things it does the most is sit in a SketchBoard Pro 2 in front of my monitor so I can draw while I watch a terrible movie. ☺️ Honestly, it spends lots of its time as canvas. As you have likely seen from my website, I’m not a good artist, but I find drawing relaxing, and I like to share things I make.

I’m a writer (not that you would know from this post) but I’m currently studying for a degree equivalent qualification, and it’s leaving the writing part of my brain fatigued, drawing has become a major pastime and creative outlet while I work through the course. I really want to finish one of the three stories I’m working on soon, but I think I need to wait until I have more emotional bandwidth.

The iPad itself is a 13-inch M2 with 512gb of storage. I really want an iPad Pro for the nano texture glass and increased RAM. Given that I mostly write and draw, I doubt I would notice higher CPU speed.

8bitDo Lever-less arcade controller: I am not the gamer I used to be, but maaaan, I love those side scrolling brawler games. This 8BitDo lever-less arcade controller is my preferred device for these games. I have one with a lever, but the thin profile and heavy build quality makes this one my goto. This is on my desk because I intend to play the Turtles Shredders revenge later. Also, it’s cool, so you should see it.

MSI Claw A8: While I don’t play much, not really. It’s just GuildWars 2 and old arcade games. I do this with my MSI Claw A8 (+AI Copilot) Which is a device with a stupid name. This thing though is a really nice handheld gaming computer. It has 32 GB of RAM, and an Intel CPU with integrated Arc Graphics. I often play it attached to my monitor, but it’s in a little dock to give me USB ports for my arcade controller and mouse dongle. I use a Logitech G502X mouse when I game and have a Logitech MX Keys leaning against the wall next to my desk. As much as I Love my Apple peripherals, they do not play nice with non-Apple hardware. To be honest, the Claw is on the list of devices I didn’t really need, but truly love. I upgraded it to a 2 TB NVME and have a 512 GB memory card in the top for little indie games. My internet at home is slow, so while I don’t play that many titles, I do like to keep a bunch installed so they are available if I do want them. Honestly, I adore GW2, and FFXIV. This enabled me to play them with minimum barriers.

Other stuff:

Cup: I got it from John Lewis many years ago. While it’s very boring looking, it’s got the perfect handle shape. I love that cup.
Pencil holder: When I draw, I like to have somewhere convenient to place down my Apple Pencil. This little block of wood with a hole in it was £3 from eBay. I stuck a little circle of rubber in the hole to stop it messing up the pencil tip. Works well. 10/10. It’s wood with a hole in it. I used double sided tape to stick it down.
Kettle: That’s a temperature controller goose neck kettle with a ‘stay hot’ button. I like it. I use it with an AeroPress that lives on the shelf. Coffee good. Nom.
Book, not on photo: The book which is currently living on my desk is The Incal by Jodorowski and Moebius. It’s a comic. I am both enjoying the story and basking the art.
A fan: I have a battery powered fan. It charges by USBC and I put it on my desk when I am warm. I mentioned this here because it’s quite good. It came in two pack with a black one and a pink one. I like it way more than I expected for £14.

Software: Okay I’m going to write a whole post on this topic at some point, but, heres the rundown really quick.

Writing - Ulysses
Publishing - Vellum
Drawing - Procreate (with RSCO and TGTS brushes)
Pixel Art - Pixaki, with an honourable mention to Resprite.
Animating - ToonSquid
Photo editing - Pixelmator Pro (usually on iPad)
Notes - Apple Notes (I use an app called Quick Capture to get stuff in there fast)
Productivity suite - Apple Reminders, Apple Calendar. (Though I do use this app called Remind Me Faster to enter data into Reminders.)
Bible Study - Logos and eSword, mostly Logos at this point.
3D work - Nomad, on the iPad.
Media - AppleTV purchases, Nebula and YouTube (I don’t have a stand alone video player, not since I quit the open seas)
News - I only use Apple News. Because everything else is bloat and doesn’t have retro gaming magazines ☺️
Read later - Good Links

The road I have travelled: Here is a picture from the first instalment of this exciting series. Or, at least the oldest I could find.

As you can see, we came a long way. No Steam Deck, no mic arm, no TV. Yet, I think some things have stayed. A laptop stand. That same monitor, and cup. Less Kermit this time, sadly. He lives proudly on the shelf the other side of the room. ☺️

I realise that in many ways I write these posts for myself, but I do hope you found it interesting.

Procreate - a musing about brushes.

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 12:43:38 +0100

When I started learning to draw, I hated Procreate. I hated it for loads of small reasons, the main being that a layer cannot be larger than the canvas, and there isn’t a real fill tool.

Over time, I found things I didn’t like about Art Studio Pro and I couldn’t get behind the (modest) subscription for Clip Studio Paint. I don’t trust Adobe, so Fresco was out. As time went on, I found myself using Procreate more and more, just because it was the least objectionable. Eventually, I embraced it as my main tool.

It was months later when I went into another application to grab an old work, that I realised I had totally fallen for Procreate’s brush engine and just wasn’t concerned with interface niceties or layer size any more.

Presently, I am trying to draw every day and exploring styles, brushes, and techniques. I’m doing it all in Procreate, gleefully.

I think, with all this practice, I am getting better at drawing. Or, at least becoming less terrible at it.

Brushes.

Procreate being a single purchase, and the developers continued assertions that it will remain that way emboldened me to spend some money on brushes.

After some research, I grabbed a substantial pack from Retro Supply Co (RSCO) and some from True Grit Textures supplied (TGTS). So far, I am exceedingly happy with them. I probably got more than I required from RSCO, but their large bundles and the discount offered struck me as enough reason to go ahead and pull the trigger.

Since grabbing these new brushes, I have seen a noticeable uptick in my artistic output. While brushes are no replacement for skill, style and practice (all of which I lack) they do allow the results to be as polished as possible. The other thing I noticed was that the brushes from TGTS and RSCO both have different feels to them. TGTS brushes seem to flow onto the page easier while RSCO brushes offer more pressure control, or at least that’s how they feel to me, someone with no skill and too little study.

I have not even looked at a stock brush since getting these packs. I have used the feathery pencils (Chromagraph) and wet inkers (The Rusty Nib) from TGTS for sketching and inking respectively. Meanwhile, the cross-hatching and destruction textures from RSCO have complemented them wonderfully. I think if I were more interested in painting than lifework, I would appreciate RSCO better. Though, I realise that I am already in the deep weeds of this topic and should probably stop talking.

I tell you all of this because I wonder if I would enjoy any art application as much as I do Procreate, if I had access to these brush sets.

Okay, what’s your point?

I have previously grabbed brush packs from Etsy and Gum-whatever-it’s-called and been reasonably satisfied with the results. But spending money on really goos quality offerings from large brush makers has really changed things for me. I had an Marker pack from a smaller seller for ages, and was quite happy with them. Once I tried the CHROMATONE (they put it in all caps, not me) Marker pack from RSCO I was blown away but the difference, they feel more like the tools they are aping, and the results are consistent. Layering mixes in predicable ways and the selection of nibs are organised wonderfully.

Premium brushes really change your experience, and, in ways I did not expect.

When Affinity eventually relaunches on the iPad, I may re-buy the Rusty Nib (TGTS) just to find out.

Prices

The obvious elephant is the cost. Procreate is priced at about £20 for a single purchase (I think) and I paid £22 just for some pencil brushes. Before using them I would have said it was overpriced but after using them I think they are no different to physical tools and paying a little more often results in better, well, results.

If anything, it’s made me think of Procreate as a platform more than a tool in itself.

And, don’t even get me started on what an astonishing difference good paper textures make.

Your art is still crap.

Yes. I know. Im working on it. I’ll get better… I think.

Almost minimum. Reflecting on ejection

Sun, 08 Mar 2026 21:46:33 +0100

Day by day, week by week, the fatigue sets in. The feeling that you are doing somehow worse than everyone you know. You are less successful, have fewer savings, are too fat, not fit enough, not spiritual enough, not… screw it, I’m going to order that new lamp that I have had in the basket for a month.

This, sadly, is how most of us think. The layers of thoughts culminating into a cacophony of Amazon orders in the middle of the evening, hoping, praying, wishing, that you haven’t missed the opportunity for the elusive, next day delivery.

Hipsters to Habits

I stumbled across the idea of minimalism almost two years ago. It had existed in the peripherals of my awareness before that, as things for hipsters and posers. I thought it was specially reserved for muppets who were more interested in taking photos of their house than existing in it.

However, around this time, I was binging the Minimalists podcast while I was tidying up. It really got me fired-up to throw stuff out. A little later I was recommended their book, ‘Everything That Remains’ (Millburn and Nicodemus, 2013) which is a sort of journal of progress. I enjoyed, for the first time, thinking about the mindset behind the mission of minimalism.

However, it was November 2024, when I realised that minimalism was not just an idea, or a good inspiration to declutter, but a method for increased contentment. The book ‘Goodbye, Things’ (Sasaki, 2017) changed my attitude towards the topic. It’s the story of a man becoming an extreme minimalist and explaining his thoughts on the topic. Upon my first read, I thought the author was a bit loopy. As I considered his extreme minimalism, I started to think more and more that he wasn’t really missing out on anything, and, the only reason I rejected it so harshly was because it was abnormal to me.

I read it again a few weeks later, when I wanted some tidying up inspiration.

Since that time, I have read the book about five times, cover to cover, and, I have been working on ejecting things from my own life, at a steady but consistent pace. I am now, at the point of writing this, basically, done with all the major work, at least.

The Ongoing Ejection

My desk is now a haven of simplicity. There is one wire which I move between my MSI Claw for games and my MacBook for everything else. It’s still busier than I would ideally want, of course. But it’s the cleanest it’s ever been up to this point.

My office now contains one bookshelf, a desk, and a mini fridge with a printer on top. There are also some fans dotted around because summer is looming. There are three long shelves on the wall, one of which I intend to remove because it is quite high up, and I worry that it’s a clutter attractor. That’s it, nothing else.

There are pictures on the wall, though. While I want to remove them and bask in the simplicity, echo has become a real problem since I ejected all the objects.

As you can see from the picture, while it sounds sparse and without personality, even the few things I have kept actually look way busier than I would like. Those pictures are starting to irritate me.

I have made a rule that I will not allow myself to own more books than fit on that bookshelf. The wall-mounted shelves are for housing coffee making equipment, an arcade controller that I adore (and will not be parting with) and a big speaker which serves as a noise maker when I am not wearing headphones.

The shelves are also busier than I would like, too. Now I have less clutter, the small number of things in the office annoy me because they feel untidy. I’ll be working on removing things like spare cables and extra trinkets soon.

Since I got to this point, I genuinely have felt calmer, more focussed and cleaner. I take some odd joy in being able to see the edges of the room.

My daughter thinks I’m raving mad, but I can honestly say, I have never liked a room as much as I like this one.

The rest of the rooms in my home are similar, but I spend the majority of my leisure time on the office so it’s been the major project for me. I thought for a while that there would be a point where I would be annoyed and think I had gone too far. Should I have reached that point, I was intending to replace the three shelves and extra desk with high-quality items, so at least the decluttering would have been to serve a purpose rather than a waste of time. It’s shocking to me that at no point have I regretted disposing of anything. I just keep getting more joy, the more I eject from my life.

I don’t think you ever reach an end point with this, I think perhaps there are checkpoints where you have to adjust to the new state before moving on to the next wave of ejection.

Still, it’s been a good time, so far. Once I have painted it all, I’ll make a room tour video, it won’t take long. And, the lamp, as it turns out, can stay in the basket. ☺️

References

Sasaki, F. (2017) Goodbye, Things: On Minimalist Living. Kindle edn. London: Penguin.

Millburn, J.F. and Nicodemus, R. (2013) Everything That Remains: A Memoir by The Minimalists

Kagi won. Google lost.

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 22:32:44 +0100

Until a few weeks ago, I had not heard about Kagi. I think there is a chance that you haven’t heard about Kagi either.

Kagi.com ← click this if you want to see Kagi with your own eyes… and device.

Kagi, as illustrated by the link above, is a search engine. It’s a really, excellent search engine. The downside is that it costs money to use.

The cheapest unlimited usage tier is $10 a month. I just paid for my first month as my trial ended, and was happy to do so.

I took the trial simply because I was curious. Then after a few days was blow away by how good the results were. Also, since the closure of Leta, the reality that perhaps paying for things makes them last, has set in.

Why is it good, though?

Now, I am an adblock man. I feel no guilt in blocking ads wherever I see them. I also support creators where I can and pay my way around the Web where required. I do not, however, think it is reasonable to expect me to wade through crappy internet ads to read an article I’m interested in. If you won’t let me look at your site without turning Adblock off, I will simply never look at it.

For those interested, I use Wipr (2) and AdGuard on all my devices, between them the blocking is over 9000 (I don’t see any ads at all)

Despite not seeing the ads for years, I have been aware for a while now that they are still influencing my life. While I block the sponsored stuff on Google, the results are still weighted with ad revenue in mind and since they have introduced the AI summary slop at the top of the page, I have been dissatisfied with the service.

I tried DuckDuckGo and several others, but Google was still marginally better because while it returned weighted results, they are at leats usually relevant. DDG and others have more than once appeared to misunderstand my search entirely and had me wade through tangentially relevant stuff in ways which annoyed more than edified.

When I heard about Kagi and that there was a trial, I was curious enough to give it a go. And, yeah…

No weighing based on advertising, none.
No sponsored crap.
No AI summary, though I can option to show one should I want to.
No visual noise to block.
No pre-highlighting of results or pages (you know, that strange thing no one ever asked Google to do for us.)
I can deprioritise or even block sites entirely from results.
I can change the ordering methodology for results. (It allows me to filter results by posting date, for example.)
I can report websites I think are fishy, right from the results page.
The image search is just a page of images, no site links.
It can (attempt) to filter out AI images on that image page too.
The logo is a cute dog!

And that’s only the core search. Kagi also has an AI assistant which allows you to select a model (though, so far, I have found it serviceable, but not amazing for academic work.) It has an AI summariser which has actually been pretty useful (for that academic stuff I was just talking about) and a news font-end that has a pretty sensible set of sources.

If you are willing to at least consider paying for a search service, I think you should give it ago. For me, with the AI assistant and summariser on top of the searching, it has crossed the line into ‘fine, I’ll pay!’

Give it a try, you may like it. Or, don’t, I guess.

iPad themed YouTube videos are all stupid.

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 21:56:01 +0100

I agree, strongly, that YouTube videos about anything Apple related are tiresome trash. And, I watch a lot of them because you have to wade through many, many, piles of rubbish to find the occasional useful app or website what you would otherwise miss. But, dear reader, I am going to stop, cold turkey when it comes to watching any video about iPads.

There is a theme in these videos which comes around about once every two months (or so) where YouTube creators think they have transcended reality and have the hubris to make videos with titles such as, “You have been using your iPad wrong,” or the infuriating, “Finally, this is what the iPad is for!”

And, you click on the videos and these arse hats have the absolute audacity to have a ten-minute monologue over an iPad on a desk or in a damned field where they talk about it being a useless device. Then the megalomaniacs announce that all you have to do is throw away your magic keyboard, and all of a sudden, the device makes sense!

Horse radish! Poppycock! These are the same goits who companied endlessly to have ‘proper’ multitasking on the iPad to make it more laptop-like when The Muppets don’t even actually use the darn thing!

I use my iPad. I have a magic keyboard, I also have an art-board stand for it, I use my iPad every day. Sometimes I draw (badly) sometimes I animate (badly) and sometimes I use my Magic Keyboard and write (pretty well) on it. Overall, I think I could be happy with only an iPad. But I do have a MacBook and I use that if I need a laptop. Because I have it, and it’s the right tool for the job.

Apple listened to these morons, and that’s why we have the underwhelming iPadOS 26. Where you can have multi-window, pointlessly. As someone who actually uses their iPad as an iPad most of the time, I can tell you, I turned off windowed apps. And if I do for any reason require windowing when I’m using it with a magic keyboard I use stage-manager, which we had before iPadOS 26, and it was fine, still is.

YouTubers need to stop thinking they know better than users about a device they only pull out once a quarter. And, only when they run out of ideas for videos and pretend they know something that we, the actual iPad users, have never figured out.

Anyone who cannot find a use for an iPad shouldn’t have purchased one. I never look for a purpose for my iPad because I purchased it for a purpose. The Magic Keyboard is a nice bonus to the best drawing and note-taking device I have ever owned. ☺️

Stop listening to YouTube hipsters about things they don’t know about, just because they have nice cameras and apparently no dust in their houses, it does not mean they know anything.

The January update.

Sun, 25 Jan 2026 19:54:51 +0100

I haven’t been updating this site as much as I did earlier last year. I still post many ‘microblog’ style short form thoughts, but there have been less Long-form posts over all. This is, mostly because I have been really, quite busy.

I did, however, think that maybe I should sum up a bunch of half toughs into one post. Things I like, and want to point at, coupled with random thoughts. As such I have decided to call this a January update. Then, if I do find myself really busy, I can just update you again in February, and it looks planed. Getting good at this, aren’t I? ☺️

The things making me busy.

I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I also didn’t want to seem spooky and cryptic. In sort, I have had a lot on at work, which has left me wanting to sleep more than write posts when I have got home.

I have found the winter quite draining. Usually, I enjoy the winter, but I started taking my health and fitness way more seriously last year and had a great summer. Possibly, I enjoyed the summer properly for the first time ever, and, it has left me in a winter of discontent, waiting for the summer vibes to return.

This is new for me. My gym has this big warehouse door that they open in the summer, and I just had the nicest time working out with a friend, listening to terrible dance music and basking in the heat. Also, I truly enjoyed walking my dog after I got home and, well, I just had a really great summer. I want to get back to that. I miss it.

How I have been spending my time.

I have spent my recent months reading a lot, writing less than I did in the summer because work has left me drained and, finally, gaming. I have finally felt like gaming again. I had a solid 18 months off but, as I said in previous posts, I feel like I have finally found a healthy balance and it’s been great.

Let’s break it down.

Writing.

So, obviously, the writing has not been showing up on the website. But, I am almost done with my current novella, ‘The Eternal Blonde.’ This one ended up shorter than I expected. I really want to noodle with this one until its perfect because it’s a little different to a lot of what I write, in the sense that there was a lot more ‘plotting’ than I usually do. I have invented several characters whom I like and have had fun with, but it’s something of a one-shot. There isn’t even a back-burner idea for a follow-up. It is very ‘stand alone’ whereas most of my other works have always been intended to be part of larger stories or beginnings to things. Because I only get one visit with these characters, I’m trying my best to make it a good one. So… Noodling, tapping and editing. Almost done.

Reading.

My dad was a massive Harry Potter fan. I never bothered investigating it because it always struck me as a bit stupid. But, Audible have released new ‘full cast audio’ versions and I decided, it was time to give them a visit. I think, in part, the winter has made me a little reflective and I miss my dad. What better way to reflect on him, than to read his favourite book.

So far, I have made it to the third one. And, I must say, despite my misgivings and writers critique, I really have enjoyed them, and quite a lot.

After I finish each book I have moved on to the associated movie, and I have enjoyed them too.

I have also enjoyed how excited people have been when I have said I was reading the series. People are thrilled for me, which is nice.

Side note, I have been keeping up with my Bible study and am currently re-reading Ephesians over and over and over. It’s currently being taught through in my church, each Sunday. I want to get as much out of it as I can, and reading it over and over seems to help the teachings sink in.

Gaming.

I wrote about my purchase of an arcade stick recently in a post. Well, I’m a child and an idiot, so I also picked up a Leverless Controller too, the 8BitDo one. I really like it. The arcade stick is better for general arcade gaming, but for side scrolling brawlers, wow. It’s great. It was to expensive and a silly purchase but, as I said, I have been a little down, and arcade themed controller cheer me up. ☺️

Speaking of which, I have recently been enjoying Marvel Cosmic invasion. Such a great time!

Outside of stick or non-stick gaming, I have also felt myself feeling a bit middling on Final Fantasy XIV, I have been having much nicer times with Guild Wars 2 recently. I think maybe I have just played too much FFXIV and need a change of scenery. GW2’s action combat has felt really satisfying, as well as the constant distractions the game offers feeling super engaging. I hope I continue to enjoy it. I like MMOs, and it’s nice to have a go-to-game ☺️

Oh, I also played some Hogwarts Legacy (because Harry Potter) and it’s surprisingly engaging. The only other thing I have played is Shin Megami Tensei V. Which is also good but after 7 hours, im only jsut getting into the meat of it.

I have streamed those two once or twice over the last month. That was fun. I am, at most, a ‘casual’ content creator now, and I am having more fun because of it.

Media (Movies and TV)

As I think I said in a recent post, I have decided no longer it ‘obtain’ or ‘borrow’ things from the library of the internet. Instead, I have been streaming and purchasing the things I want to experience by legitimate channels. This, has proven itself to be less than cost-effective and I have had to be more savvy with sales and bundles. But, I think I have a nice collection growing on AppleTV, as well as all the streaming offerings.

I was most annoyed recently when I realised that the Harry Potter movies have been removed from streaming services. I had to buy them at a fiver each and that made me mad. On the upside, I can watch them again now and AppleTV purchases tend to look at lot nicer than Netflix anyway (I have a colossal TV) Also, I have enjoyed the extras.

So, things I have enjoyed recently (aside from Harry Potter):

The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Prime Video) - Comedy about a comedian in the late 50s who has a broken marriage, nutty family and constant confusion in her life. I think I like it because the lead actress (Rachel Brosnahan) has incredible timing on her delivery and is super entertaining in the role.
Seinfeld (AppleTV purchase, but also on Netflix, I think) - It’s the greatest sitcom ever made, and I think I have been re-watching it on loop for about a decade now.
Star Feet Academy (Paramount+) - Its new Star Trek. There recurrently 3 episodes. 1 and 2 were ‘fine’ and 3 was pretty bad. I’ll update you as it goes on but, generally, I enjoy Star Trek even when it’s terrible. I Like Holly Hunter’s performance but outside of her, it’s pretty mediocre at best.
Police Academy (AppleTV purchase) - I picked up a bundle over Christmas and wow. They have aged terribly but in a way that still makes me laugh, and a little nostalgically.
Pluribus (AppleTV+) - Okay so… it’s like an episode of the Twilight Zone got an entire show of it sown and its fab. A hive mind takes over the world, except for one woman, named Carol. The best thing about it is that it is not a comedy, and it could easily have been played or laughs. It’s great. Possibly, the best TV show for about a decade.

Aside from this, I have just finished rewatching the entirety of South Park (Paramount+). I adore that show, but I think you have to really like stupid juvenile jokes to enjoy it, and I do. The most recent season has been a bit rubbish. Outside of that, I like all of it.

Streaming services

No piracy in my life so, here are the streaming services I pay for and my one sentence-ish reviews of them.

Netflix - It’s fine.
Disney+ - It’s pretty good.
Paramount+ - It’s rubbish, but it has Star Trek and Frasier.
Crunchy Roll - It’s great if you like anime (I am middling on it, but I like slice-of-life stuff when I feel sad.)
Prime Video - It’s fine, but I have to pay an extra £3 a month to get rid of the ads that they put there.
YouTube Premium - Not sure if this should go on this list but its great. I can watch apologetics videos without ads.
Nebula - Not sure if this should go here either, but I like it. It’s got long-form stuff that I can probably watch on YouTube, but there’s a better interface and no comments.

I realise that this is a lot of streaming services but hey, still cheaper than paying for Sky TV ☺️

Technology.

I want a new MacBook. I don’t need one, but I am worried I won’t be able to afford a new one soon because of RAM prices. This is classic FOMO. I am resisting (currently.) My M2 air has 16Gb of Unified memory and 1Tb of storage. I do not need a new MacBook to write in Ulysses and Apple Notes… repeat after me “I do not need a new MacBook!”

Also, recently, I have been deep in Logos Bible software. I don’t ‘love’ it, but it does have so many books. This makes it a go-to for me recently, but I still think eSword has the best interface of any Bible application.

I mentioned the arcade controllers earlier, so, thats about it.

The end.

Yeah. I burped out everything I wanted to hit on. See you soon. You can follow me here, or join my discord to keep in touch (it’s linked at the top of the page, under ‘About’… I think)

Bai!

DevonThink - It hurt the most.

Sat, 17 Jan 2026 16:22:34 +0100

Now, It’s true that in most aspects of my life, I am a reasonably frugal man. However, when it comes to technology, I’m willing to spend a little money to solve problems. It’s partly because I believe that giving developers money is a good thing, and partly because I recognise that paying for applications means they are more likely to stick around, long term.

Over the last few years, I have seen more and more software which was once priced in reasonable ways become expensive, changing the deal, like Darth Vader in cloud city.

I have spoken before about how I love GoodLinks, and my one-time purchase has become a £4.99 a year subscription. I had moaned about how the newest version of the Reeder RSS app has turned not a £9.99 a year commitment. And yes, I have even made it known again and again that I was livid about DevonThink which suddenly got far more expensive about a year ago.

The problem is, I have forgiven a lot of these applications, knowing that it is, sadly a part of modern life for things to get pricier.

I tried moving from GoodLink to AnyBox, but it wasn’t the same, so I paid the fiver. I tried other RSS readers, but I just wanted to use Reeder, and, I paid the price.

However, it’s DevonThink which hurts the most, both financially and productively.

DevonThink is about the single best way to keep all my personal knowledge repository all in one place. It lets me make databases for individual topics, which can be synched via iCloud. It allows fast searching, quick note-taking and some rather fancy linking. Once I was really sold on the platform I picked up DevonThingToGo, the iOS/iPadOS companion app.

Now, for clarity, let me explained the cost.

DevonThink 3, on sale cost me £144

DevonThinkToGo, on the App Store cost me £50

I knew that eventually, I would see a version increase and have to extend my licence and excepted to pay a little to do that. I was resided that it would likely cost me £50-£100 to do so, and at the rate of development, at the time, I was looking at around a 3-year turn around.

What I didn’t see coming was for them to change business model and begin asking for $99 a year to continue getting updates.

Now, I realise that updates are not mandatory, and I could skip versions, and I was pleased to see that _(now) _the mobile app is offered as part of the licence.

But, going from £100 every few years, maybe, to a subscription for $99 a year was infuriating. Part of this annoyance was that should, one year, I don’t have the cash or simply not want to spend it, I would lose access to the mobile app. While my desktop software would stop getting updates, the mobile app would be in free mode and have many limits. It’s not an option for me to not get updates on a tool I use every day, and prolifically so. Getting my database nuked because of an os/app incompatibility could lose me some serious data, even with incremental backup in place.

After I gave it some serious thought I went back to Apple Notes and GoodLinks (which started its subscription model around the same time annoyingly, though, for far less money.)

Even now, all these months later, I believe that going all-in on Apple Notes was the right choice. I can’t see a reason for me to switch away from Apple and should it ever actually happen, there are tools to export all the notes in markdown or RTF format. As for GoodLinks, it also has export options too.

While Apple Notes isn’t as feature packed as other options, it covers what I need well. I can attach just about anything I would want to a note, I can write anything from a phone number to a novel in the same window and it just sort of shrugs and accepts it without issue. While a few people on various forums have complained about synching issues, I’ve never had any problems at all and almost always, it turns out the people having issues were doing something very odd when it broke.

And, best of all, I can’t see an even a small chance of it suddenly costing me $99 a year.

I did consider Obsidian for plenty of reasons; however, I am far too prone to tinkering should I have the ability to do so.

Apple Notes works fine and I no longer let myself get distracted by other options. It’s a simple life, but I have to say, of all the things which changed the deal, it’s DevonThink which hurt the most because, honestly, I really liked it and would likely have grown old looking at its window. And, the very fact that I wrote this post is an indication that we dont always get over an ex.

8bitDo Arcade stick

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 23:11:28 +0100

I’ve wanted an arcade style controller for some time. I have had this 8bitDo controller in and out of my basket for at leats six months.

Finally after chatting about the topic with a controller enthused friend I pulled the trigger.

My friend wanted a ‘Fight Stick’ which, I am told is the correct name for an arcade controller. He’s currently nurturing a love for traditional one vs one fighting games. I, on the other hand, am far more interested in classic arcade games. My specific interests is getting the best experience I can in Pac-Man Land. Which, is the second best arcade game ever made (don’t say a word!) second only to Defender.

Now, I realise it’s strange to spend about £75 on a controller to play games from the 80s, but, damn it, I am an adult!

The controller is very solid, exactly as noisy as I would expect from an arcade stick and houses 8 buttons, which by default (when set to x input) are mapped across to the xbox controller pretty much as you hope. It also has a little analogue toggle to change between left stick, right stick and D-pad. There is a second to toggle between Switch, xbox and off.

While there are other buttons, which I choose to ignore, because they are boring, it is worth mentioning that it can be connected either by wire, Bluetooth or dongle, the dongle can be hidden away inside the controller too, which is neat.

I am very happy with my controller. I have played Hyper Sentinel, Pac-Man museum, and Streets of Rage 4 on it. It’s been great. I’ve also only charged it once since having it (USBC charger.)

It’s crazy that I have a very large stick which is too big to just live on my desk, but, at least now, when I want to play some Pac-Man, I have the perfect controller.

Also, as an after thought, I have to say, I am also very tempted by the 8bitDo leverless controller. If it goes on sale, I may have to grab it, just because it looks cool ☺️

Apps I use & Phone setup - An update.

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 16:51:08 +0100

A friend recently gave me a stern but tongue in cheek talking to, regarding the way I use my phone. Apparently, I’m using it wrong. Which we had an interesting back and forth about.

My phone is a now older, iPhone 14, Pro Max. Which means there is no Apple Intelligence, Action button or other such symptoms of technological modernity. By iPhone standards, it’s old (like its owner ☺️)

I would like to take a little time to explore my Home Screen, and to discuss how I actually use my phone. I realise that like my desk setup posts, this is somewhat self-indulgent and more of a personal snapshot of where I am now, and what I do at this moment. It is likely far more compelling to future me, than it is to you. And, that’s fine.

There are three widgets and four icons on my single Home Screen. There are three applications and a folder on my dock.

The Home Screen

Working from the top down, we have the following.

Widgets: Things 3 - Today and Inbox.

I have artificially made this list blank for the screenshot because privacy.

I keep the ‘Today’ widget at top, as this it contains things that are the most important to me. It also allows me to use the little plus button to add an entry to today really fast.

The next one down is the Inbox. I use this as my quick capture home. Everything gets put into the inbox if it’s not for today. I then sort the inbox at my leisure.

Widget: Calendar.

This is quite literally the Apple Calendar widget. It shows the current month and highlights the current day, pressing it opens the app. It’s not revolutionary, but it is useful to glance at.

Icons (Not dock.)

Upper left: Logos bible software. - I study the Bible a lot, and having this on my Home Screen makes sense to me.
Upper right: Apple News. - I don’t actually like that I check the news enough to justify having this on my Home Screen, but I have to be realistic, I do.
Lower left: Chess.com app. - I really like to do chess puzzles. Having this a click away makes me more likely to do this than scroll X.
Lower right: Micro.social app. - I don’t love social media, but I use Micro.Blog for my website hosting and also post more traditional micro-posts to it. This being on my Home Screen saves me a second when I want to post or read Micro.Blog feeds, which are oddly wholesome.

Icons (dock.)

Apple Mail - yes, there are better mail clients. I am ‘all in’ with the Apple ecosystem, so for me, there is no reason to use another app. This one does the job well for me.
Bear notes - I’ll go into it more below, but I really like Bear.
Safari - I like it. I use it on macOS too.
A folder filled with health apps - I use a lot of health apps as part of a year-long attempt to reverse the damage my dumb as cheese self did, eating too much cheese for years. I find that I have better accountability if I make sure I am reminded they exist.

The apps

There are many apps, like, loads. I choose these above others. I will discuss them now_(well, the ones I think are worth mentioning.) This list isn’t in any order, besides the order I remembered them in.

Things 3: I really like Things 3, though I have been bouncing between it, Todoist, and Apple reminders for about two years now. Todoist is now off the table though, as they increased their subscription price, whereas Things 3 remains a single purchase, so, functionally free. I think I’m likely settled on this now because while I theoretically prefer Reminders because of its Apple integration, I am oddly more prone to losing data when I use it. Things 3 is £9.99 for iOS but way pricier for macOS and iPadOS. Still, think it was worth the investment.

Chess.com: I really want to be better at chess, but have no natural aptitude for it. I also find chess puzzles really satisfying, so I think this is my main phone game.

Logos Bible software: I feel like I need to write a full post about Logos. I don’t like the subscription (though, it is optional) but I have found it really very useful simply because of the volume of books it gives me access too _(some of which I had to pay for.) _As much as I really loved eSword, I think I’m likely going to stay with Logos for the longterm.

Bear Notes: I used to use Apple notes. And before that DevonThink and before that Obsidian and before that…. I have used a lot of notes applications. Apple Notes became an organisational issue for me. DevonThink changed their business model and while I was delighted with the software, I would rather not pay £100 a year to carry on using it. I would still be on it if it were not for that. Anyway, Bear is nice, it’s pretty cheap (£3 a month) and reliable. Also, it supports markdown.

Apple Journal: one of those health apps in that folder on my home screen is the Apple Journal App. I only started using it when it came to macOS and iPadOS with the os26 update. It lacks some features of Day One or Diarium, but it bakes into the OS, and, won’t ever try to bill me _(theoretically) _and has all the things I care about, baked in.

Fitness Story: This app came as a shock to me, someone on Reddit was giving away a lifetime subscription, so I snagged it. It has ended up being a fantastic Gym log. It generates all sorts of interesting data based on the logs my watch makes. If you wanted a lifetime sub you could get it for about £18.

Lose it!: I think tracking calories is important for anyone on a fitness journey. I don’t think it much matters how you do it or what app you use. I liked this one when I first needed an app, and at some point I got a lifetime subscription on a Black Friday deal for very few pennies. I will use it until I can use it no more. It has scanning of barcodes, good enough search tools and tells me if I have hit my protein goals. I am currently on a 200ish day streak of logging. Go me!

Apple Music: I like it better than Spotify. That’s all I really have to say. The live Country station is cool.

Ulysses: This is my main writing app. I really like it. I use it mostly on my Mac. It is nice to be able to edit or tap out an idea on my phone, though.

Various streaming media: I currently use Disney+, Paramount+, AppleTV+, CrunchRoll and Netflix. It’s still cheaper than SkyTV (or cable.) ☺️

Thoughts on app choices.

I appear to trend towards tools and apps which can be used in macOS and iPadOS as well as my phone. For instance, I use Ulysses on all platforms, same with Things 3 and Apple Music. While I could use an alternative solution on each platform, I think unified offerings are the simplest. I know which app to goto for any situation, regardless of the device in front of me.

I also don’t think that people who know me would be shocked my any of these choices. I select apps with minimal interfaces and cloud storage. I often lament that I have switched note-taking apps a lot, but I think it’s just been a matter of finding a tool I like and not hitting the walls with it. I loved DevonThink, until they wanted a very lrage yearly payment from me (originally it was s single purchase solution.)

I never close an app, I think that is best left to the OS to sort out, I rarely remember to close a tab in Safari either. and, my phone runs just fine

I am sure I have forgotten an app or two. but, this has abeen a fun snapshot to write. And, you can likely see why don’t really want a new phone, not one of these would run better on a newer phone.

Joshua 5:13-15 - Thoughts and questions.

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 21:52:55 +0100

Usually when I write about scripture, I have my own musings to share. Today, however, I want to just point at something and say, “Wow, that’s neat!”

The verse in question.

13 And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, a Man stood opposite him with His sword drawn in His hand. And Joshua went to Him and said to Him, “Are You for us or for our adversaries?”

14 So He said, “No, but as Commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped, and said to Him, “What does my Lord say to His servant?”

15 Then the Commander of the Lord’s army said to Joshua, “Take your sandal off your foot, for the place where you stand is holy.” And Joshua did so - (Joshua 5:13–15~, NKJV)

See that? The Commander of the Lord’s army accepted worship. Angels do not accept worship. This raises the question as to the identity of the Commander, doesn’t it?

Even the first time I read through the Bible, this passage struck me as odd. Just a couple of verses, where a man tells Joshua to take off his sandals and then leaves. No other comment is made. For such a brief passage, it’s dense with enigmas. And to be clear, I have no insight on this, no comment to make. Our church pastor is currently teaching through Joshua, and this passage came up. This is the point at which I got a bit obsessed and read a bunch of commentaries.

The questions I had when I originally read the Bible were the following:

Why is this major interaction such a small passage of the book?
What did this mean?
Did he have to fight the entire battle without his shoes on?

Now though, as a more seasoned traveller of the Word of God, I have, hopefully, more mature questions instead.

Why did the Commander accept worship?
How did this affect Joshua and his role as leader?
Did he have to fight the entire battle without his shoes on?

As I have said, I have no good answers for you, not really. But, the commentaries I read may be able to glean something for you.

It may be noteworthy that two of my favourite books on the topic of scripture, the Norm Geisler tomes, ‘When Critics Ask,’ and ‘When Skeptics Ask,’ had nothing to say on this topic. Meaning, there is likely no secular objection to the passage. Not sure what that means, but it’s interesting nonetheless.

The comments.

While I read a bunch of things on this topic, these were the ones which, I think, echoed the consensus, or had something unique to say.

This Man was the Son of God, the eternal Word. Joshua gave him Divine honours: he received them, which a created angel would not have done, and he is called Jehovah, chap. 6:2. To Abraham he appeared as a traveller; to Joshua as a man of war. Christ will be to his people what their faith needs. Christ had his sword drawn, which encouraged Joshua to carry on the war with vigour. Christ’s sword drawn in his hand, denotes how ready he is for the defence and salvation of his people. His sword turns every way - Henry, M. and Scott, T. (1997) ~Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary~. Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, p. Jos 5:13.

Mr Henry does not open up to discussion here. He clearly states that, in his opinion, as an accomplished biblical scholar. He believes that this is Christ. Notice he says Christ, not Jesus. I think there’s probably a long and interesting article to write on the topic of the pre-incarnation and how we think about it/Him. I greatly enjoy how this makes a comment of the reason for the visit, to encourage Joshua. The implication is also an endorsement. Something he likely needed as he was trying to fill the shoes of his predecessor.

The real character of this personage was disclosed by His accepting the homage of worship (compare Ac 10:25, 26; Rev 19:10), and still further in the command, “Loose thy shoe from off thy foot” (Ex 3:5). - Jamieson, R., Fausset, A.R. and Brown, D. (1997) ~Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible~. Oak Harbor, WA: Logos Research Systems, Inc., p. 146.

Another agreement here from a well-known source. This also sees little debate in the identity, but fails to actually state it, which is interesting.

If this was only an angel, he would have repelled Joshua’s worshipful response. Joshua is reminded here that he is merely the leader of God’s army for whom God abundantly supplies the most important kind of armor—the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10–18). - Longman, T., III (ed.) (2009) ~Deuteronomy through Ruth~. Barbour Publishing (Layman’s Bible Commentary), p. 115.

This commentary does not see the vision as a supportive comfort only, but also as a reminder that Joshua is ‘merely’ the worldly leader of the army, and the army is God’s. I don’t think this perspective dismisses the visit as an endorsement, but it focuses on the reminder of place for Joshua. Intriguing stuff, to me at least.

Here Joshua met Jesus, Jesus the Captain of the Lord’s host. You see, if it were an angel then He would’ve refused his worship. John several times in the book of Revelation, tried to worship the angel, and he said, “Stand up worship the Lord. - Chuck Smith C-2000

As I have said many times in many posts, I find Chuck Smith’s Commentary to be one of the best I have access to, in no small part because of his style of writing. Chuck not only states that if this were just an angel, then the worship would have been rejected. He also points to the Book of Revelation as an example of this.

Conclusion.

I scoured my physical library, my eSword library and my shiny new Logos library, and I cannot locate a single respectable source which rejects the notion that this Commander is more than an angel. There are a great many sources that make no comment on this passage, which may be a comment in its own right.

Regardless of where you personally fall on this topic, I think at the very least we have to recognise this as a fascinating few passages which perhaps would not benefit from further expansion within the Bible. Take it how you like, but Joshua got confirmation that he was the man for the job. The results of this confirmation are seen, laid bare, throughout the rest of the book of Joshua, and the legacy he left to the people of Israel. I can’t help but be humbled by the impact of the short interaction. I think there is something to be said for how much God can do with a single moment in someone’s life.

And no, I do not think he had to finish the battle without his sandals on.

Cross-references

Below are the cross-references as listed in my NKJV Study Bible. I think you may find them interesting if you are looking for some related reading.

Exodus 3:5 - Then He said, “Do not draw near this place. Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”
Genesis 18:1–2 - Then the LORD appeared to him…
Genesis 32:24 - Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day.
Acts 7:33 - ‘Then the LORD said to him, “Take your sandals off your feet, for the place where you stand is holy ground.”

Notes: I do not use AI in my writing. I have, however, recently begun using the Logos software, which gives me easy referencing and linked searching. I constantly try to state sources and link back to original articles where I can. Also, please note, I am not a theologian; I am simply an interested reader of the Bible who enjoys sharing thoughts.

Software I use & Desk setup - An update.

Sun, 19 Oct 2025 19:38:22 +0100

Most of you will not find this interesting, I know. A few of you, however, are like me, overly interested in other people’s workflows. As such, here we are…

Desk setup & Hardware

My desk looks a bit mad in the above photo. This is because I turned on both iPads and the MSI Claw. Usually if a screen is on, then it is being used.

Working from left to right, here are the objects on show

iPad Air M2, 13 inch with 512 GB storage. With Magic keyboard - I use this daily for drawing, mostly, however I do write with it, and sometimes use it as second screen.
1. Behind it is a large Bluetooth speaker from DOSS, I really like that.
MSI Claw A8+ AI Copilot- Worst named product ever, however it’s a good gaming handheld PC that serves my purposes. I upgraded it to a 2 TB SSD.
MacBook Air M2, 13 inch, 1 TB of storage and 16 GB of unified memory. I am considering changing it in June, as birthday gift to myself. There likely isn’t a reason to do so, but I would like a slightly larger screen. This is out of character for me, as I like small things but the 13 inch, as my main computer, well, from time to time, it feels a little snug. Also, M5 is MBA is out.
1. Magic Mouse, black.
iPad Mini 6, 256 GB Storage. No one needs two iPads. I ended up with it very cheaply. I like it a lot for games and reading news. While I enjoy it, I don’t feel like it’s a ‘mission-critical’ item for me.
1. Above the iPad Mini you can see my Apple Watch charger, hanging on the wall.
Fan. I don’t need a fan this time of year, but where the heck else can I put it for a few months? I just leave it there.
Lamp. It’s a USBC chargeable one. Battery lats about three evenings at my desk which is about 10 hours I would guess.

You may notice that aside from the fan, everything at my desk is battery powered. I really like having a desk which keeps going in a power cut (I get them from time to time, especially in the winter) and because I’m all in on the Apple ecosystem it switches to a phone powered hotspot with one button, should my internet go off.

I would love one of those large solar charging batteries. I would put the panel in my window and charge everything for free forever! But they are about £400 for a good one. Maybe I’ll get one next year.

Bonus items: Not photographed are the following essentials

Dog - Mine is a chihuahua called Backup.
Miyoo Mini+: Still my favourite retro handheld.
External SSD: I have a 2 TB Corsair and a two 1 TB Samsung drives to back up important documents, files and BandCamp purchases.
Sketchboard Pro: I love my Sketchboard, It’s a big plastic stand that the iPad goes in to make to make it better for drawing. I use it most days and while it was overpriced, it has since proved its self.
Phone and watch: I still use an iPhone 14PM and an Apple Watch Series 11. Like both, not changing them until there is a legitimate feature upgrade that I want.

Software

I love MacOS. Honestly, I think it’s damned near perfect for my needs and habits. Though, contrary to fashion, I don’t hate Windows 11 either. I use it on buy MSI Claw, and it’s honestly ‘fine.’ Anyway the applications and tools…

Writing: I have been using Ulysses for about a year now. It has everything I want. While I have a lot of respect for Scrivener, it is a single device piece of software. Ulysses lets me jump between iPad, Mac, and phone without any issues and has nice grammar tooling built in. I also really like Markdown, so it’s ideal for my habits. No plans to change any time soon. I am interested in the fabled ‘new app’ form the Scrivener team, which may launch some time before the rapture.
Notes: I have jumped around note-taking tools more than any other tool. I think I realistically started being a serious notetaker on Notion, then I jumped to Obsidian, DevonThing and dipped a toe into Craft and UpNote. I was on Apple Notes for ages, but I can’t have nested Smart Folder there and it finally for too disorganised to use. I’m now on Bear notes. Bear feels like a strange thing to pay for when It’s using my iCloud but, its tag-based folder structure (with nesting) has made it an ideal home for my notes as I can have single notes in multiple locations. It has markdown support too, which is outstanding! Bear lets me export all my notes as dot MD text files, should I ever desire to move.
Link saving: I was using an app called Anybox. It’s great but appears to be functionally abandoned now. I have had one or two synching issues too. I realised recently that Bear’s web clipper offers me all the functionality I actually need and has good global searching. So I migrated my 1,018 links over to Bear. There is no tool. I had to do this manually. I am happy with this solution.
Drawing: I use Procreate on My iPad and Pixelmator pro on my Mac. I also have the Affinity suite while us usually overkill for my needs. For pixels, I use Pixaki which is outstanding, not that I draw pixel art that much. I did use ClipStudio for a while, but I really don’t like its brush engine. Everything feels sort of ‘off’ to me.
Bible Study: Still on eSword and I still really like it. My only issues (still) is that notes and bookmarks don’t sync between devices.
Task management: I have used loads of things for this, but I keep coming back to Todoist. While I really like Things, I require web access to my task list so I can use it on my work PC. I think if they ever update Things to have this, I’ll go back. Structured is also good, I highly recommend it, but Todist appears to be my home. Ironically, I find structured to be too, well, structured for my day-to-day workflow.

Future changes?

I may get a new MacBook Air in June. That’s it. Really… I like my setup. I like buy software and I like my website.

Thanks for reading, and I am absolutely interested in your setups! Please do share.

KitKats made me Christian. - My testimony

Sun, 12 Oct 2025 18:16:07 +0100

the following is reworking of the testimony I gave at my Baptism in June of 2024, I am sharing it here, so that I have a quick way of sharing it when I need to, and, on the off chance others want to read it.

I haven’t been Christian for that long, not really. Actually, the first time I ever walked into a church, on purpose, and willingly, was the fifteenth of January 2023.

I entered, filled with suspicion, eager to figure out what the scam was. I know that sounds bad, but a few months prior, I had walked into the Manna House food bank, next door to the church, to drop off a few hundred KitKats from work.

I think it was at that moment that I actually became a Christian, I just hadn’t realised it. You see, if you had asked me at the time, I would have told you I was a Wiccan. I had been to festivals and read possibly hundreds of books about the illusive old-ways. But in twenty years of books about mysteries and too many YouTube videos about ancient monuments, I had never once seen a Wiccan helping the local community. To be honest, finding them outside the books or the internet was enough of a hurdle.

I may have left KitKats on the table that day, but I took away a sense of confusion, and a nagging in the back of my brain. _What was the scam?_I knew that Manna House was associated with the Elim church, so, that evening, I searched the web for food banks and Christians, trying to learn the link. One thing led to another, and I spent the next week in a nerd-hole, reading everything I could about Christianity, Jesus, and oddly, Nestlè, because it was still KitKat’s fault, after all. I ordered a Bible, when I realised there was a manual.

Once Christmas was over, I walked in the front door one Sunday. I stayed quiet and wondered how long before someone asked me for money or tried to get me to join a cult. I was on the inside, and I was going to figure out the scam this time.

Turned out ,it was a lovely morning. I kept coming week after week, waiting for the other shoe to drop, expecting the ‘crazy bit’ each time.

I kept reading that Bible too, I read that thing every day because it’s an enormous book which takes quite a time to get through. I had learned from the internet to start at Matthew rather than Genesis. The day I got to the end of Hebrews, I realised something. I wasn’t looking for the scam any more. At some point, the words had rewired me, and I wasn’t looking for ancient mysteries, or secret answers. I had everything I needed. I kept reading and eventually finished the Old Testament too. By the end I didn’t want it to be true, I didn’t hope it was true, but, I knew it was true and changes had happened along the way.

My motivation was no longer simply falling in-line with what people expected of me. It wasn’t staying out of trouble and not being annoying. I wanted, to live in a way that pleased Jesus. Because, suddenly, it seemed like the right way to live. Before that, I wasn’t a particularly bad person. I did okay, but my reasons for doing things had changed. On the outside, I’m not sure how different I actually am. But, on the inside, all the wiring is new. I used to care about people because I was expected to. I do care now. I help people where I can, not because “It’s how you make them like you,” but because, I want to support people in my life, wherever I can.

I used to think my life would always be lonely and without purpose. Now, thanks to the Bible, Jesus and, the church, I have met numerous wonderful people and stopped looking for meaning in empty books. I love life now, more than ever, because of Christianity. And, likely unrelated, I’ve not had a KitKat since.

Thank you for reading

Minimum Viable Prayer - When does a thought become a prayer?

Sat, 11 Oct 2025 15:28:43 +0100

The MVP in sports is a well-known acronym for the ‘Most Valuable Player.’ Likewise, I think there are some ways in which the ‘Minimum Viable Prayer,’ is also the ‘Most Valuable Prayer.’

Disclaimer: As I have said many times in many posts, I am not a theologian. I’m just an avid Bible reader and thinker of things. So, please, if the following resonates with you, seek advice from a more qualified person, or please do your own study.

What is a Minimum Viable Prayer?

When I go outside, of an evening, while my dog answers the call of nature, I often look up at the sky and admire the early nighttime clouds and stars. Sometimes, I am blessed to see the Moon glowing through those clouds. A vista which I adore. The sharp lines of the moon and the soft glow never fail to warm my soul, even on the coldest of evenings.

In those moments, I typically find myself almost absentmindedly thanking God for the time outside, the clean air, my little dog and a myriad of other things which wash across my mind.

As another example - I had a conversation with a non-christian friend the other day. After the conversation, I found myself asking God to help them with the problem they faced and to help them to meet Jesus. I also found the thought evolving into thanking God for a few of the people in my life.

In both of these examples, I did not consciously think, ‘time to pray!’ It was more organic than that. I began thinking about a blessing or a need in my life, and before I even knew it, I was lifting these thoughts up to God. I had not consciously realised that I had done this until later when I was reflecting on my day.

During these little emergent moments praised God, thanked God and I did so without consciously thinking about worship. Which got me thinking, Biblically speaking, what is a prayer, and what is the minimum required words, effort, or intentionality to be classed as such?

To scripture, I go…

Isaiah 6:8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: “Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”

I think Isaiah addressing God (answering him) is inarguably a short prayer. It does not conclude with Amen, or have a formal structure. It is just the words “Here am I, Send me” in the NKJV. In the more common NLT, the wording is a touch more modern, with it reading “Here I am. Send me.” - Still just five English words.

Matthew 15:25 Then she came and worshiped Him, saying, “Lord, help me!”

In this verse, we see a Canaanite woman asking Jesus to heal her daughter. I feel, strongly, that seeing Jesus in his incarnated flesh and asking something of him is clearly a prayer. Whether she realised it or not, asking something of God in this way is truly the most pure of prayers.

Luke 18:13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’

Here we have Jesus himself telling a parable, where a tax collector asks God, ‘be merciful to me, a sinner!’

In this parable the tax collector is the hero of the story, showing humbleness, giving his problem, guilt, and grief for his life to God. A faithful, God-fearing man. It’s an earnest moment of pure faith, in prayer. And, again, you may notice, no Amen, no structure and no pomp. This was someone crying out to God for forgiveness.

I have one more example which I feel worth looking at before I expand on some more thoughts. This one, though, maybe the greatest single prayer in the entire of the New Testament (besides the ones from Jesus.)

Matthew 14:30 But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”

Another instance of someone asking Jesus, directly, for help. In this case, a literal request for salvation, though, the physical kind rather than the more common spiritual sort.

This one is three words and possibly the simplest format a sentence can be, a request for help. It literally could have just been the word ‘Help’ directed at Jesus, and the meaning would be no different.

When I began writing this article, and scouring the Bible for examples of short prayer, I found myself quite stunned by this verse. The more I thought about the scene, the more it resonated with me.

Now for a tangent, related, but somewhat off the beaten track…

My first through was to imagine having the privilege to reach out to Jesus with an open hand, and a great need and be able to ask, or perhaps even scream for direct, physical, instant, help.

I then felt a wave of something close to shame, as I realised that we all, do, in fact, have that privilege. When Jesus spoke of having enough faith to move mountains, I never understood the meaning, not really, until now. I have spent a long time envying the Apostles for their relationship with Jesus, and I had not thought about my own relationship with Him. As a Christian, I too, not only can reach out and ask, but do, and have done. He may not be wondering around the sea of Galilee while we tentatively climb out of a boat. But, he is with us all the time, and because of the relationship forged with faith and through scripture, he is waiting for us next to the boat, regardless of what that boat may be in our lives. How can my faith move mountains if I don’t even understand it well enough to truly grasp what that faith even means?

Rant over, back to the actual topic

The traditional format

It is in Matthew 6:9 that we get the template for prayer from Jesus in the form of the Lord’s Prayer. It is this prayer that teaches us about thanking God, praising him, recognising his position in the universe and only then, humbly asking for our needs to be met. While this is a massive simplification of the theological leviathan which is the Lord’s Prayer, I think the point that a prayer should include praise is a solid one.

The Bible is filled with exceptions and standards not met (which is literally a topic of another article I am currently working on.) I think when we intentionally pray, we should do so with an understanding of the process, expectation and ethical implication. But, I also think that God wants a relationship with us. While I know it’s important to maintain friendships and family bonds through visits, phone calls and historically, perhaps letters. I also maintain those bonds through text messages, forwarded pictures of cute dogs I saw on the internet and, occasionally, a thumbs up, to a received message.

I think God wants those calls, in the form of formally structured and intentional prayer, and visits in the form of Church attendance. I also think there is enough in Scripture to prove to us that it’s also okay to give God the Facebook thumbs up in the form of these moments of acknowledgement and forward him dog pictures in the form of these small, minimum viable prayers.

Refining the point

I would like to turn to the book of Romans for one final thought here…

Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.

Romans 8:27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

When our words are small, the Spirit remains big. While I know that the book of Romans is talking about the moments when words fail us, and we cry out to God. But, it’s also another point that helps to build the picture of a God who wants us, as we are, while He refines us into whom we should be.

And finally.

Maybe if or only prayers were ‘Thanks God,’ when we are waiting for our dog to pee, there would be a problem in our relationship with Him. When we read our Bibles and go to church and pray in the way which is ideal, I think it is likely that our little ‘top-ups’ are well received.

Or using as few words as I can think, to make this point - The Amen, doesn’t make the prayer.

Note: This was written by a human, not an AI.

Dead writers and socially acceptable crime. A Christian struggling with copyright.

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 23:08:20 +0100

The Bible was not written recently. Well, if we measure time from the beginning, it was written quite recently, but measuring it in human historical terms, it was not written very recently at all. Occasionally, I struggle with something which would likely be made far clearer if the Bible was written after the invention of the internet.

For instance, the book of Romans has come up a lot recently (and I am measuring time as a person, not from the start, so recently means the last year or so.) It has come up as part of multiple discussions about whether Christian’s have to follow all laws or not. Specifically, in my conversations, the topic of piracy has come up. Not high sea piracy, but the more modern ‘media’ kind. You know… movies, TV, music, books and all that jazz.

Let’s preface this with some scripture.

Rom 13:1 - Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.

Which is Bible talk for “don’t break the law, you moron!” The commonly accepted wisdom here is that we obey the laws of the land, except where the laws contradict Scripture, then we follow the higher authority, which is God’s word.

I don’t actually believe for a moment that anyone can read that, then shrug and rob a bank. Christians, especially nerdy ones, however, do rationalise this point in a microcosm, in a way which allows them to sail the digital high sea’s and virtually plunder all the episodes of “Friend’s” they want.

There are some commonly used attitudes and arguments around this, such as the old ‘piracy is not theft’ argument. I think many of them are a psychological coping mechanisms rather than obedience to God. Specifically, there are two of these copes which I have struggled with, I will now unpack them.

The media I want is not available to purchase.

Okay, this really is one of the things which I find the most challenging. For example, there is this show called ‘Galavant’ which is a pretty rubbish musical adventure that ran for two seasons back in 2015. I adore it.

I checked and it’s literally not available. I can’t buy it, I can’t rent it, and I can’t stream it. Outside of piracy, there is no way to watch it online.

If I want to watch it and I can’t buy it, am I stealing if I download it? Remember, I cannot give anyone any amount of money to watch this show via the internet.

That’s not the conversation, though, is it. It? The question is, am I following God’s will by ignoring the law of the land?

Oh, and if you are interested, you can get a DVD from a region I can’t play back, on eBay, for £114 at the time of writing… for two DVDs. Also, I don’t have a DVD player.

I could get a pirate copy for free in three minutes. And, I don’t need a DVD player to watch an MKV file.

What about dead authors?

A lot of the authors I read are dead. It feels strange to have to pay for a book by a dead guy who will not get any money for it. But, the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 doesn’t make an exception for this. Legally, you should pay, dead or alive. Doesn’t matter. Feels odd, but until a book drops into the Public Domain, you can’t have it for free. To be honest, though, I have noticed that the comparatively low cost of books (in print and digitally) that no one seems to argue for this. Maybe it is about cost after all.

There is also the argument that if you purchased something from the Kindle store and want it on your Kobo, you should be allowed to rip and transfer it. You are not. This is still illegal… I think… perhaps I should check that one, now I think about it.

I was going to imagine a hypothetical scenario here where I asked about someone who could not afford a Bible but could pirate one. Would that be wrong? — well, you see, the reason I didn’t waste very many words here is because you can install a Bible app, for free, on any device that you would have read that illegal download on… I mean, if someone has a phone for piracy, they have a phone for a Bible app. I think the scenario of someone who literally only has a Kindle would be pushing the bounds of believability, which is not useful for a thoughtful hypothetical.

The top result for ‘read bible for free’ on Google lands you here: https://www.bible.com/bible/111/JHN.1.NIV - And, the BSB version is free to download directly as PDF.

God’s rules

How sure are we that God cares about this? Well, we’re not really sure at all. When God said obey your leaders did He also want to add, ‘including all copyright laws what are fluid, regional and ultimately temporary.’

The reality here, I think, is the spirit of the words, not the legalistic loopholing of them. I think God wants us to obey the law because we are less likely to get in a pickle if we are good citizens. I think while God isn’t likely concerned about Mickey Mouse’s cut of the profits, He does care about how it looks when Christians are ignoring laws that they, and secular people, are expected to follow. Do you want to see a Christian in trouble for downloading ‘The Big Bang Theory’ when they could be spending their time learning, reading, praying and spreading the Gospel?

As Christians, we should be examples to the world. We should strive to be better every day and, sadly, that means we should buy that copy of Zootopia, and when a friend asks, we can say we are living the principles of the Bible which we hold so dear. Let us not be hypocrites when we know we should drive for better, especially over something so vapid.

If we break the law, it should be for living in a Christ like way and standing up for that. Not for downloading things we shouldn’t.

This topic is in no way to be taken as an admission of piracy on my part. It is a theological, and philosophical musing, not a recounting of my guilt.

MSI Claw 8 ai+ Upgrading

Sat, 20 Sep 2025 22:27:00 +0100

I recently picked up an ‘MSI Claw 8 ai+ A2VM, Copilot+PC’ which is a terrible name for a product. It’s so bad, it sounds like a Star Gate address rather than a handheld gaming PC. Which, by the way, it is, a gaming PC, that fits in your hand. I know, neat, isn’t it? ☺️

The Claw is rocking an Intel Ultra 7 CPU, 32 GB of RAM and 1 TB of storage. It’s using Intel graphics and has build quality which could give early two thousands Apple a run for their money. I like it. It’s overpriced, but I like it.

I upgraded from an ROG Ally (standard, not X variant), mostly because my daughter ‘needed’ a way to play Star Wars Battlefront 2 while away at university. To me, it was also a chance to upgrade from a 7 inch to an 8 inch screen and, let’s be honest, get more RAM for Final Fantasy XIV textures to use.

The Claw (I refuse to type its full name) is basically perfect, in every way, for me as I basically, only play FFXIV, and Star Wars Battlefront 2. It’s true that some people have had issues with some games due to the Intel graphics, which are very much a work in progress when it comes to drivers. I have not personally had any issues, but my standards are low, and my needs are modest.

To me, the only downside was that when I began installing my usual games, I then wanted to install some things I enjoyed in the past and quickly realised that I had used over half of the storage. Wich was annoying because I had a perfectly good 2 TB 2230 SSD sitting on my desk.

The price difference between the Claw (1 TB) and the Claw Polar Tempest (2 TB) was quite steep. The only difference between the two being SSD size, and the Polar Tempest has white faceplates (I’m not concerned with those sorts of aesthetics.) So, buying the standard and upgrading essentially for free was not stupid, but it was unplanned.

I downloaded a fresh windows ISO and prepared a USB memory stick. I did enough research to realise that I would also need some Wireless Fidelity drivers, which I also added to the stick.

I powered down the Claw by holding down the power button for about twenty seconds, when the light flashed a final time, I and told, the battery was isolated on a mainboard level and only plugging in power again would reconnect it, which is handy and saved me from physically pulling it.

The back was not difficult to get off, it was about half a dozen screws and few seconds of action for my plastic pry tool. Once open the internals were on show, which were modern, snug and thankfully, as it’s new, dust free. I unscrewed the drive (one holding screw) popped it up a little with my pry tool and pulled it out. Retuning the little thermal pad to the board because it came loose with the drive.

I inserted the new one, did it all in reverse and plugged in my USB storage before connecting power to restore the battery. Windows installed without incident and my drivers worked well.

Once I got the MSI software reinstalled, it had a handy driver scan tool which restored everything else.

After reinstalling games and drivers, and finding a nice wallpaper for it, I can say it runs better now it has a fresh Windows on it, and my new drive is a little faster than the old one. It was undoubtedly a great success.

It’s a shame that the 2230 drives don’t come in larger capacities. I saw a mod which allows a 2280 to fit in the Claw but, it seems like it’s going to be laying across the heat pipes, which does not seem smart. It is also frustrating because the Claw A8, the AMD-based one, which has recently launched does support the larger driver sizes.

I am happy with my Claw purchase and will, no doubt, update you on my ‘Clawing’ at some point.

If you can install windows on a Laptop, you can install it on a Claw. Go ahead, it was a fun morning.

Curse words, bad words, swear words - I was wrong.

Thu, 18 Sep 2025 19:56:50 +0100

As a Christian, I have always been somewhat out of step when it comes to swear words. Now, I am not a sailor mouthed bleep spewing filth monster. However, I have always shrugged when it comes to ‘bad words’ because I held an incorrect view. Apparently…

I think this may take some unpacking.

Before I was a Christian, I swore as part of my regular communication. I have always felt that respectfulness was the point of ‘clean’ speech, not word exclusion. If the people I interacted with didn’t care, why should I? I have never been easily offended. There are no words that make me gasp and clutch my pearls. Most of the people I interacted with in life have been similarly minded. So, I have never seen any issues with it.

Then I became a Christian and started spending more time with other Christians, as often happens. Again, being respectful and reasonable, I have, without conscious effort, not sworn around them. But, in the rest of my life, while I have naturally migrated to having cleaner and more considered language (the influence of The Spirit, no doubt.) Playing video games, chess and in heated conversations, I have never held back from the spicy lexicon.

When in the workplace, I have always reflected people’s own dialogue style and did so because I thought I was ‘making them more comfortable.’

Then, the other night at my Bible study group, this topic came up. Eventually when I shared my stance of, well, not really worrying about an occasional use of traditional Saxon vocabulary, well, mostly no one agreed with me. Including our new Pastor who was there. This is a nice bunch of people and no one pushed back hard on the topic, but I knew I was in the minority with my view that “God likely doesn’t actually care much about this, and it’s more about respectfulness than specific word choices.”

Part of my reason for feeling this way, I think, is because I consider myself to be a writer (click at the top of my web page, where it says ‘My Writing’ for proof, if you want), and as a writer, I am enthusiastic about words and their impact. I also know that language change’s over time and what is acceptable now, likely was not about an hour and a half ago (or a little more) and there are words we have recently invented which have become instantly unacceptable. I just never bought the idea that it matters.

The Bible it on my side, right?? Right?

Well, as with all things I speak about, when I got home I thought about the conversation some more, mulling over the points raised.

I skipped checking my Bible because I wasn’t sure where to start, but, the next day, I did some searching for articles (hoping to find something agreeing with me… obviously.) Eventually, I did the right thing and went to Scripture, the place where I should have started.

With this framing in place and the scene set, let’s do a little reading and find out just how wrong I was about this…

Ephesians 4:29

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Unwholesome is a great word, though the KJV chooses ‘Corrupt’ from the original Greek word ‘σαπρός’ (sapros) meaning bad, unwholesome, as well as rotten and worthless. (ref 1)

Ephesians 5:3-4

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.

Okay, so Ephesians states that there should be no obscenity. What’s the meaning of obscenity in this context?

As usual, I traced the word back from the NIV to the KJV and then to Strong’s, where it is translated as ‘Filthiness’ but the original word is ‘αἰσχρότης’ (aischrotés) which has choices for translation including shamefulness and obscenity. (ref 2)

Coupling this with the clear warning about ‘Foolish talk’ and ‘coarse joking,’ I can’t help but think we’re seeing a picture of how Christians should speak, and none of it involves the words we are discussing. But is this the only book which tackles this?

James 3:9-11

9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.

10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.

11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?

As much as the Ephesians passages could charitably be interpreted as topic rather than words, I think this is a little more direct. The mouth we praise God with should not be a source of cursing. Not only does it put me off cursing, it gives me a clear reason too. I don’t even feel like I need to look up a specific word here; it makes its point holistically.

Matthew 2:35-37

35 A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.

36 But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.

37 For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Specifically, verse 36 is the relevant point. Will have to give an account of every word we have spoken. There’s something to consider.

Colossians 3:8

8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.

I think I’m starting to see a theme here, but, let’s look up ‘filthy’… (Ref 3)

‘αἰσχρολογία’ (aischrologia) which, yep, has no ambiguity to it, it literally means what it says ‘Filthy Language,’ or Vile, disgraceful conversation. Which really is quite direct.

Conclusion

There is a way in which you can spin this and say that vile communications is a reference to topic and attitude, rather than word. This is the stance I previously took. But let’s be honest, thats not really the point Scripture is making, is it?

Being literal, the curse words of ancient Greek are not the curse words of modern English. God is not a robot. God is not a checklist. God is not someone who works in absolutes. As such being honest, the point about language and fluidity is being used dishonestly.

I think these passages not only build a picture of how we are expected to communicate, but they also make clear that this is the mouth we worship our Lord with! Think about that for a moment, please, because there is weight to it.

James 3:11 really hit me hard too. Fresh water and salt water cannot come from the same spring. Wow, that’s a powerful line, and it hammers home the point perfectly.

I still think that part of this is about what is said as a topic. Humans can be really nasty without the use of a single curse word, but after reading all of this, I can no longer defend my original stance. Regardless of the audience, we should not be allowing ourselves to think it is okay to use words we know are displeasing to God.

If you have an opinion, and it conflicts with Scripture, then your opinion is wrong and needs to be changed. With this in mind, I am pleased to say that I was wrong. I will now take the Scripture I have read and think about it. I will alter my behaviour accordingly. And, I apologise for my previously unchristian language, without reservation.

References

I have given the Bible hub links to the Strong’s data I have used; however, in reality, I used the KJV+ and Strong’s which is a part of the eSword software. The supplied matches perfectly.

I have not listed the referenced Bible verses here, as I would assume all readers have a Bible. But, I should note that all quoted passages are from NIV, unless stated otherwise.

In defence of Reckless love. A case study.

Tue, 16 Sep 2025 20:42:15 +0100

Reckless Love is a Christian worship song released by Bethel Music, and popularly performed by one of its writers, Cory Asbury. It was released in 2017 and appears to have been overall well received by the Christian community, as a whole. For transparency, I think it is worth pointing out that it is also one of the few songs in the category of ‘Worship music’ that truly resonates with me. Overall, I don’t enjoy ‘Jesus Music,’ which is ironic, as I adore the album ‘Jesus Music’ by CAIN. Anyway, I digress.

Reckless Love is a song that felt truly edifying from the first time I heard it. The parable of the Lost Sheep is also one that resonates with me, so perhaps the lyrics simply align with my favoured Scripture, which is why I like it so much.

It quite literally, never occurred to me that it was objectionable to anyone. As time when on, I learned that it is not the overall message of the song which people find problematic, but specifically the idea, or accusation, that God is reckless in his love for us. This is something that always made sense to me. Is there anything more reckless than truly unconditional love for a person? However, I’ll do the work of breaking down the point and discovering if there is a Biblical defence for this, or if it really is problematic. Either way, I doubt it will affect my enjoyment of the actual song, but let’s find out.

Defining the term ‘Reckless’ and its usage.

The Cambridge Dictionary has this definition for Reckless:

“doing something dangerous and not worrying about the risks and the possible results” It offers synonyms of careless, sloppy, rash, and, slapdash, among others. (ref 2)

None of this is a good start when I am trying to defend the Song. But at least Cory Ashby is aware of the criticism.

“When I used the phrase, ‘the reckless love of God,’ when we say it, we’re not saying that God Himself is reckless, He’s not crazy. We are, however, saying that the way He loves, is in many regards, quite so.” - Cory Ashby (ref 1)

The line in the song which seems to create the controversy is the following:

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God. (see ref 6 for Full song lyrics)

Even well-regarded internet theologian Mike Winger concluded that the usage was not accurate or in line with scripture. (ref 3) which, again, does not bode well. For context, I have a lot of respect for Mr Winger and enjoy almost all his videos. One of his strengths is in taking things directly to scripture, rather than allowing secular opinion to ‘muddy’ his views. So again, defending the usage of Reckless maybe difficult with this in mind.

Pastor John Piper, when interviewed by the ‘Desiring God’ website, went as far as saying it is a heretical usage of the word. Despite his disagreement with my perspective, as a theological hobbyist, I enjoyed his words in the interview a great deal. The website ‘Berean Test’ has had a little dive into scripture to resolve this and came out with less than convincing results (ref 5, if you want to read through it yourself.)

Scripture that we should consider.

Firstly, to be specific, all Scripture should be considered. A working understanding of the Bible is not only useful but essential for the thoughtful follower of Jesus. However, some strike me as being more topical than others when discussing this. The below is coloured by my own interpretation and I encourage you to reread quoted passages before reading my summary. Please nte that for all the scripture below, I read both NLT and NKJV, however I do favour NKJV.

Luke 15:4-7 (Parable of the Lost Sheep): In this parable, ninety-nine sheep are left while a Shepherd goes to look for one. The implication is that the group is left alone to fend for themselves. Something considered to be a reasonable and noble thing. Which, in my opinion, is relatively reckless, but the one is likely in more danger than the ninety-nine at any given time.

Luke 15:11-32 (Parable of the Prodigal Son): The story of a father accepting the return of his son, who by contemporary standards had disowned him, insulted him and taken money and resources out of the family in order to strike out alone. The father’s love is illustrated to be somewhat reckless, as it has the potential to damage his relationship with another son in order to rebuild one with the returning son. This is framed in scripture as being entirely positive.

1 Corinthians 1:18-25: This passage encapsulates the idea of the Cross being foolish in the eyes of the world. God sacrificing his only son to pay for the debts of people who have failed him time and time again. All being written by the Apostle Paul, who was planting churches and doing outreach to the Gentiles, the very people who he just agreed thought the Cross was foolish.

These are only three examples. I could also point to the poor woman who donated all she had, and Jesus complimented her on it. I could point to the very fact that Judas was a disciple of Jesus, something the Father obviously knew was going to end the way it did. Though, we have good evidence, I think that this was not kept from Jesus either, who welcomed him. Or perhaps to choosing to come to Earth as a poor preacher instead of a King, in its very self being an absurdly deep and impactful act of understanding and love.

My thought noodling.

While I have only been a Christian for a handful of years, in that time I have studied, read the Bible most days, and reflected on the teachings of Jesus. It is not lost on me that God knows all things. But what is also known to him is how his actions may appear to the people on Earth who do not have the benefit of omniscience.

To those of us on the ground level. Those of us who live inside time, no matter how much we trust God, and no matter if we have faith enough to move a mountain, surely there must come a moment where we all are awed by God’s love. But, I’m also sure that there are moments when we are baffled by it.

When the murderer finds Jesus in prison, we know that he is saved, just like everyone else who didn’t kill anyone. It is not fair that he has Jesus. But it is right. It is right because it is God’s will and God is right, just, and good, even if it is ludicrous to us. We may worry this man is ‘faking’ and will strike again, but God tells us that those who come to him through Christ are saved. God knows his heart.

In the Book of Exodus, when God, through Moses, took the nation of Israel out of Egypt. Did anyone there, no matter how much faith they had, not feel that it was at least a little reckless to get up and leave under the watching, and eventually perusing, eye of the entire Egyptian army?

To me, one of the reasons, one of the many reasons that I love God is simply because he (from the point of view of here and now on Earth) will make decisions which appear reckless in order to summon beauty, change, and faith from us.

Poetic language

One of the things which objections to this song do not satisfactorily explain is the idea of poetic language (including the Biblical art of rhetoric.) The Bible often uses poetic language to make a realistic and rational points. The Psalms are entirely this, and it is also found within Job, Ecclesiastics, and Isiah quite explicitly. Though I don’t think any book of the canon is without it at some point. Poetic writing is a tool of any good writer and is used as one of the many ways a person has to communicate accurately and expressively. Is it not reasonable for a contemporary songwriter to use a word that is not theologically accurate but emotive of a theological principle in order to express worship?

Much like an artist may not draw the mountain as well as a photograph, they could likely express the feelings they had about the mountain with a pencil or paints better than ten photographs could. Human creativity often defies absolutism.

God’s love may not be so reckless when you are a deity. But to me, I have seen many examples of God choosing to go after that one sheep while the others are waiting patiently. Even if it is not 100% theologically sound to accuse Him of being reckless, there is a feeling in my soul that tells me that he will chase me down, fight until I am found and leave the ninety-nine for me. Even though I could not earn it and definitely don’t deserve it. It’s overwhelming and never-ending, this reckless love of God.

Conclusion

I think everyone should strive to have a clean conscience before God. We will likely fail, but we should nevertheless strive for it. Romans 14 speaks to this point, especially from verse 2 onwards, where Paul discusses not condemning someone who does not agree with your opinion. With Romans 14, the topic is meat and what is or is not proper to eat. However, this is a lesson that we can equally well apply to word selection and song choices.

Language is a fluid thing, and meanings change. But less discussed is the lens through which we interpret these words. As an enthusiast of the written thought, I am perfectly happy to extract the meaning at the expense of the literal interpretation. But, if a song makes you feel uncomfortable, then do not sing it. If another worshipper finds it to be a good outlet for their worship, feelings, and joy, then let them sing and sing proudly.

To better form this very thought — Artists should be allowed to use their art as worship, and in the case of writers, emotional words may sometimes be used over accurate ones when it helps to better form the art. I think this is no different to the hyperbolic choosing language which is often found throughout scripture.

Though possibly the debate really centres around the idea of recklessness being a negative trait, whereas many people find it to be a virtue when God displays it. Knowing God will sacrifice because he loves us is one of the most comforting things in all the Bible, to me.

Sources

1. Reckless Love (song) - Wikipedia

2. reckless

3. Thinking Biblically about “Reckless Love”

4. Should We Sing of God’s ‘Reckless Love’?

5. Is ‘Reckless Love’ Biblical? | The Berean Test

6. Cory Asbury – Reckless Love

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (and 6:19)

Sun, 07 Sep 2025 17:35:50 +0100

These Verses, as with the last two I have written about, were suggested for study by a friend, and, I have to say, he’s doing a fantastic job of selecting them.

1 Corinthians is my most read and most loved book of the Bible. It has also been the book which I have found to be the most challenging.

This epistle is attributed to Paul beyond any reasonable doubt. There is some debate whether 1 Corinthians 14:34–35 is original or a later addition. (ref 1) - However, thankfully, the passages we have here are without authorship contestation.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17

16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

17 If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person; for God’s temple is sacred, and you together are that temple.

1 Corinthians 6:19

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

(NIV)

My pre-Commentary thoughts.

As usual, the below was my raw reading, no commentary consultation, just a lot of thinking.

1 Corinthians 3:16-17 - Saying that we are God’s temple feels like it can be supported without objection by the indwelling of the Spirit. Before the Spirit was within us, he was in the temple. This is a diligently, delightfully self-supporting verse.

The next says that destroying the temple will result in God destroying the person. Is this speaking about abusing one’s own body, through injury, immorality, physical sin, or is this a direct remark about despair (and suicide?) Sin often damages the body, but it does not destroy it. Is encouraging someone to leave the faith also destruction of the temple, I wonder? Does losing one’s faith result in the exiting of the Holy Spirit?

Another way this could be interpreted is to focus on the word ‘together.’ Together, we are the temple. Perhaps more likely, now I think about it, that it is speaking about the church, as in, a group of believers. Perhaps, like so much scripture, it’s speaking about both these things. (Because The Word is usually smarter than all of us. ☺️)

1 Corinthians 6:19 - Here we have another verse which reminds us that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. I have always enjoyed that we are owned by God. I know to whom I belong, spiritually speaking. The Spirit being inside me is comforting. He keeps me safe. He wards off lesser spirits (which is literally all of them.) and he is the guiding force within me, which I think accounts for my desire to do better in life. I am, after all, not my own. — I find this very reassuring.

I notice though that the word Temple here is never plural; we, collectively, are the (singular) temple. We are not all temples. I’m not sure about the implications of that, but it certainly makes me feel connected to other believers.

Striking word

The word ‘temple’ here simply cannot be ignored.

Original Word: ναός (nah-os’)

Meaning: From a primary word ναίω naiō (to dwell); a fane, shrine, temple: - shrine, temple.

Total uses: 46

Translated as: Temple (43 times) - Temples (2 times) - Shrines (1 time)

Source: (ref 2) Strong’s

The word temple actually means ‘indwelling’ and we are in dwelt by the Holy Spirit. We, believers, are literally temples. Wow. This wasn’t a ‘close enough’ usage. The writers of the New Testament literally mean that we are temples. That somehow makes sin far worse, now I think about it.

Sermon Bible

Within my application, eSword, there is a commentary which is simply called ‘Sermon Bible Commentary,’ I’ve had some difficulty finding the actual source material for reference (Ref 3) but it provided some good information and phrasings I found useful.

The commentary points out that it is this entrance of the Holy Spirit which accounts for the born again nature of the believer. Without its entrance, we could not claim to be a new creation. It describes the attunement which takes place as turning away from a tendency for evil, towards a tendency for good. Overall, I think the point is that when the Spirit is within you, you are more prone to act in line with God’s will, not bound to, but inclined to, overall. _(Attibuted to H. Melvill, Penny Pulpit, No. 2067.) _

The Sermon Bible has other comments from different writers who all make similar points, leading me to believe that I have properly understood the core of this verse.

Chuck Smith (C-2000) (ref 4)

As I have come to expect, Chuck does an outstanding job of summarising the ‘common’ wisdom around these passages, which align with the above. However, Chuck also points out that there is a linguistic and possibly spiritual parallel here between the believer as a temple vs Satan taking Jesus to the pinnacle of the temple when he was tempted. He also says that here is an external and internal word for temple in the original language, and when Jesus spoke about rebuilding it in three days, it was this internal temple meaning he was using. I am not a linguist, but I think Chuck is a pretty good source for this claim.

He also says that as the Holy Spirit is within us, so is Jesus, and when we go somewhere, or commit a sin, we are in some way taking Jesus with us when we do. The implications of that will take me some time to unpack, I think. Maybe I’ll follow that up with a musing when I have it fully, theologically noodled out. What are the implications of taking Jesus along for your sin?

It is also commented on, that we should eat right and look after our physical form, as we have been trusted to look after temples, we need to do a good job and look after our bodies. Something I have often failed at (though, I am trying my best in recent months.)

Final thoughts.

Wow, three scripture posts in a row, which all, essentially escalate the same point. I feel like I am at the end of this thread right now. I need to be a better custodian of my temple, for sure. I also must remember the third person of The Trinity. The Spirit is doing a lot, day-to-day in my life, and often we put all our focus on the Father and the Son, forgetting the helper, who is with is inside us, in the most direct way possible.

Something to think about, for sure. I’ll do my best to internalise these teachings.

References

Barclay, John (2001). “65. I Corinthians”. In John Barton; John Muddiman (eds.). The Oxford Bible Commentary. New York: Oxford University Press. p. 1130. ISBN 978-0-19-875500-5 (https://archive.org/details/oxfordbiblecomme0000unse/page/n9/mode/2up(https://archive.org/details/oxfordbiblecomme0000unse/page/n9/mode/2up))
Strongs Concordance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strong%27s_Concordance
eSword Library https://www.e-sword.net/contents.html referenced source was H. Melvill, Penny Pulpit, No. 2067. Available online https://biblehub.com/commentaries/sermon/1_corinthians/3.htm
Chuck Smith’s C2000 bible commentary series. Available in original Audio, for free.

This post was written and researched without the use of AI (unless you count a spell checker)

Ephesians 1:3-6 — A casual Bible study.

Sat, 30 Aug 2025 19:36:11 +0100

Time for another deep read, this time Ephesians 1:3-6. (if you are curious about my methodology, please check the bottom of this post.)

Ephesians was written by Paul, around 62AD (though this has been challenged in recent years. It still seems likely that Paul did, in fact, author this.) The Halley’s Bible Handbook (ref 1) notes that his was a circular letter to the Asian Churches, with blank spaces, so each city could insert its name. This is the reason for the lack of personal greeting. (It is, however, worth noting that the author does not give citation for this.)

I enjoy the poetic outlook that writer John Cassidy has on the letter, where he states its general point as being:

Salvation brought about through the death and resurrection of Jesus will bring about unity and harmony on a cosmic scale

(ref 2)

With this framing in place, it is the following specific verses of Ephesians which I am looking at today:

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.

4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love,

5 he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will—

6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

(NIV)

Thoughts.

After reading these verses repeatedly every day for the last week, I have come to the conclusion that they are direct and uncharacteristically simple for Paul. Not that I don’t think they are wonderful and have profound meaning, but the meaning isn’t encrypted or behind a layer of theology. They are a simple (by Pauline standards) statement about who we are and what God has planned for us. I don’t see a hidden layer behind them, as I do with so many of Paul’s writings.

In verse three, we have acknowledgement of the trinity, which I always enjoy. It also says that these blessings are ‘in Christ’ which to me says that God is praised, and accessible to us through Jesus. Without being followers of Jesus, we are not invited to praise. This is, at least, the way I interpret these words. We are also thanking him for the spiritual blessings we have received. I am not sure if I have any spiritual blessings, but I do feel blessed by Jesus, so maybe that’s the same thing.

I have never considered that God planned me before the creation of the world. This is comforting to me. It goes on to say that we will be blameless in his sight, in love. I was planned and chosen and loved, and blameless to him, even at this planning stage. Wow. There’s a thing to think about, isn’t it.

Now we see that he planned for us, and planned to make us his children, through Jesus. Again, we have this implication that accepting Jesus is the way we get the things which were planned for us.

Verses three, four, and, five speak to me about what is desired and planned for me. Reminding me that it is through Jesus which this comes, but, in verse six, we again come full literary circle and Paul praises. He is thanking God for that which he is giving us, freely. There is a condition though, isn’t there, the condition that we accept Jesus as our saviour. But, then again, I suppose it is freely given, isn’t it. Why would someone not accept Jesus once they know what he did for us, and what rewards he secured for us in doing so?

If Halley’s Bible Handbook is correct in the assertion that it was not actually written to a specific church, but to a general collection of churches, then there is something to notice. Paul doesn’t directly tailor it with deeper and relevant meanings, as his audience is wider than it usually is.

Wider reading

As I said in my previous scripture study post — I try to read the passage without wider influence, and, have the above opinions before moving on. In this case, though, I was literally reading Halley’s when the suggestion to study this passage came up; I couldn’t resist a peek at the section. All of the above notes were made before moving on to wider sources and commentary. The below were written after my study.

Chuck Smith’s C-2000 Commentry. (ref 3)

Below is a summary of things I learned through reading this. You should read it too… Or listen to it if you like, it’s a transcript after all.

Paul is thanking God for spiritual blessings, not physical ones. This is in direction opposition to the prosperity movement, thankfully.
If you continue reading, Paul spends three chapters telling you what God has done for you.
Chuck touches on the Doctrine of Election here. When he speaks about being chosen by God and Chuck, like many people, feels it’s unfair to be simply selected. He thinks he had a choice though, and that is something he is grateful for. I am not sure if I think he’s right about that, but, it’s a complicated point. Glad he touched on it.
He mulls over the idea of being selected before the beginning of time. He mentions that he likes the idea that God selected him before he had ‘cleaned up his act,’ which, I too, find comforting. I was selected, back when I was drinking too much, worshiping false gods and generally not being a nice person. Nice to know that God still wanted me, even then.
When talking about being adopted through/in Jesus. Chuck says something so wise, so wonderful, that I have to just quote it directly here. —“One of these days my name is going to be called, and I am going to stand out, and God is going to look at me, and Jesus is going to step up and say, “Father, one of mine.” In Christ, holy, without blame. “He is innocent Father. He is without blame. He is faultless.” He is going to present me faultless. How? Because He is going to present me in Him. It is in Christ that I have this standing before God of faultless, without blame, holy. That isn’t me, that isn’t my works, that isn’t my efforts; that is the way God is going to receive me in Christ Jesus.” I’m not going to gloss over this, I had a very manly tear in my eye when I read that (and the next three times I read it too.)

Actually… I wanted to take a moment here — Chuck Smith is Awe inspiriting. If you get a chance, read his biography, it really moved me. His commentary is, I feel, one of the most insightful out there. Also, there’s a movie about him. It’s called Jesus Revolution. Chuck he is played by Kelsey Grammer.

Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (ref 4)

Mr Henry is very wordy, and as such, my bullet points will be insufficient to truly capture his points.

Writing in something like 1706, Mr Henry was not too focussed on capitalistic perils. But he does say, rightly so, that spiritual blessings are the best blessings. Which I enjoyed.
One of the Spiritual blessings which he postulates we have received is salvation though Christ. Which is something I didn’t consider earlier.
He muses that adopted children have all the rights of born children and then goes on to say that in his opinion more meaning and weight is extracted because this was all decided before creation. He speaks of it as being part of eternal council, which is something I need to unpack in a proper study one day.

There you go. That’s everything I could glean from this passage. As usual, I would like to remind you that there are an infinite number of commentaries at this point and there are many ways to interpreting the words of the Bible. This is a chronicle of what I read. I am sure, when I revisit this in a year or so, there will be far more to add, as I grow and learn. But for now, I do not have anything additional to say.

Thank you for reading.

References used

I have used in reference the following sources, as well as the NIV and NKJV bible printings (via eSword.)

The Halley’s Bible Handbook - page 614. 24th edition, printed in 1965, ISBN 0-310–25720-4
A brief introduction to Ephesians by Ron Cassidy, 2008. Archived on the wayback machine in 2015. Originally published by Virginia Theological Seminary.
Chuck Smith’s C2000 bible commentary series. Available in original Audio, for free.
Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible - Available to read online, but I believe its in the Public Domain.

1 Peter 1:1-2 — A casual Bible study.

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 15:17:37 +0100

Recently, a friend and I ended up having an impromptu ‘deep read’ of 1 Peter 1:1-2. We went away and did a little research and met back the following week top discuss it. While I’m sure (certain) that there are deeper dives into these verses by people far more qualified than me to do so (I’m just an enthusiastic reader), I did the study and thought I would share it, as it may be of interest, to someone else.

1 Peter

The first epistle of Peter has debated authorship, and may have been written as late as 81AD, I am quite comfortable, personally, with the traditionally embraced authorship of this letter. I don’t find any of the reasons for it not being Peter’s own scribed words to be compelling. Mostly because, if you are going to fake a letter, it would be more effective to attribute it to Paul, who was a prolific letter writer. All the comments or critique seem to be hinged on the idea that ‘a fisherman couldn’t write this well,’ which is at best insulting to fisherman, and at worst classist arrogance.

Regardless of the actual source of this letter, for the purpose of this study I will take the stance, as did the early church, that this is, as it introduces its self, a letter from Peter.

I have taken the passage below from the NIV translation as it is likely the most well known, however I, personally, favour the NKJV

1Pe 1:1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, To God’s elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces of Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia and Bithynia,

1Pe 1:2 who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient to Jesus Christ and sprinkled with his blood: Grace and peace be yours in abundance—(NIV)

Striking word: Elect

All numbers below are based on the KJV (all numbers and data below sourced with Strongs, not AI)

Original language word: ἐκλεκτός (eklektos)
Meaning (Strongs): select; by implication favourite: - chosen, elect.
Number of usage in NT: 23
Translated as: Elect (12 times) - Chosen (7 times) - Elect’s (3 times)

Based on the translation choices, it is clear that this implies that the person/people addressed in this verse are the chosen people. They are the selected, the identified (and favourite?) It is not a choice we make, but a choice God makes for us. Is this something done to/for us rather than something we do?

We are elected, like a leader or a politician, rather than democratically. It’s the democracy of God; he is the only voter.

Striking word: Exiles

Original language word: παρεπίδημος (parepidēmos)
Meaning (Websters, 1828): To banish, as a person from his country or from a particular jurisdiction by authority, with a prohibition of return; to drive away, expel or transport from one’s country.
Number of usage in NT: 3
Translated as: Pilgrims (2 times) - Strangers (1 time) - Please note, this is the word which the NIV has translated as ‘Exiles’, I assume for clarity. But, Strangers/Pilgrims both appear to make more sense, overall, in my opinion. However, as the NIV is not a word-for-word translation, the exact reason could well be more nuanced.

This was the second word which struck me as having a deep relevance to the meaning, and I’m glad it did. The NKJV and KJV chose different translations for it, with the NKVJ using ‘pilgrims’ and the KJV using ‘strangers’ — I checked my printed version of the NKJV Open Bible and my NKJV Life application study Bible and neither have comment around this, choice. I have, however, done a little more work and found a reference to it:

Wayne Grudem, Tyndale New Testament Commentary, notes that parepidēmos means “one who is only temporarily residing in a place, a foreigner.”

The English meaning seams to have changed since 1611, where Stranger, meant foreigner, rather than outsider. An interesting case of linguistic ‘false friends,’ given how subtle the difference is.

I think the traditional concept of exiles is accurately conveyed in both versions, and the point seems to me that it is addressing the scattered. I realise at the time it was historically Jewish people who were being addressed here, but I firmly believe that every word of the Bible is for everyone, despite not being to everyone. With this in mind, are we strangers or exiles from God, in the way that we are away from him right now, in a physical sense?

This should not concern us, as the text goes on to say that through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through obedience to Jesus, Grace, and peace will be ours. And abundantly so.

Wider meaning I have extracted from this

We are chosen to be here. To be away from God, in physicality. We’re not here accidentally. We are here because God elected us to be here, and now.

We are assured of grace and peace because we have the spirit with us, and we have faith in Jesus to feed us (John 6:35.) While this passage does not tell us what to do, it does say that the Spirit is working. With this in mind, we should trust in the Spirit, put our faith in Jesus and do what we know to be right, according to God, through study of scripture. To be just and good. Our reward will be Grace and Peace.

These two passages, to me, contain the literal core of the entire teaching of the New Testament. It is a microcosm of Christianity, and I never before realised how wonderfully concise and deep so few words could be. I strive for this elegance in my own writing.

Commentary says

Only after drawing my own opinions did I open a commentary. My usual go-to is Chuck Smith’s (C-2000), so I started there. Obviously, it is not useful for me to recount and quote directly here but reading, I gleaned the following:

Chuck prefers ‘scattered’ to ‘exiles.’ A change of word which I think was changed to make the passage clearer in some small ways. I am not sure if I agree but reading it again with this new word adds a new flavour to it.
Chuck talks about the doctrine of election here. The idea that God has perfect knowledge and all who are saved are elected. This is a very Calvinist way of looking at things, and if you are not familiar with it, please do read up on it. It’s not something a Pentecostal church would teach (I attend a pentecostal, for clarity) but something I, personally, agree with. This is a controversial topic which is very sensitive to some people, and I am still not done learning about. I am very much still researching it. I do think the doctrine of election is an interesting topic, regardless and not something which really occurred to me when reading the passage, thought it really should have done.
He points out that the Trinity is in these verses. Explicitly so. This is something I missed when reading it. It refers directly to the Father, Son, and Sprit in clear terms. They really are a good couple of trinitarian verses.
The last thing he says before moving on is that not only does this mention the Trinity, it explicitly mentions the blood of Christ, his sacrifice. It is a perfect reflection of the teachings of the entire Bible. Something I noticed, but not in such a direct way.

Moving on now to my second most referenced commentary, the Matthew Henry commentary (it’s an older one, written between 1708-1710.)

I felt the following points here noteworthy:

Peter identifies himself with the name Jesus gave him, not Simon, but Peter. He is speaking _as_the the rock here. In fact, whenever he speaks with the name Peter, there is an authority in it. A name given to him buy Jesus, it’s quite a statement.
He notes that Peter also identifies himself with his credentials, his rank, apostle.
Mr Henry points out that once, the nation of Israel was the elect. Now it is you and me. God did not change his mind, but instead kept firm that those who believe in him are elect, whom the elect are changed, not God.

Mr Henry uses many pages to cover this verse, and a lot is said, most of which are covered through my own thoughts and the additions I found in Chuck Smith’s comments. However, as always, everyone should read Matthew Henry; it’s excellent.

I checked the Cambridge Bible Study and John Wesley’s notes on the Bible, and, while all works give a delightful unpacking of the points in different ways, I think I have covered all the points which I found useful. Not to say there is no more in there, but this was enough for me to feel like I had a deeper grasp. I think this is worth revisiting, perhaps after a full study of 1Peter.

_The article is over, the rest is optional reading for people how have questions about how I study. _

Notes about my study methods

I just wanted to take a moment to say that I am not presenting myself as an expert here. As I said at the start, I am just an enthusiastic reader. I did, however, want to leave some information about my study methods (this is how I approach all Bible study, not just this one.)

Software

The science fiction dystopia we live in has some perks, as such I embrace them, and for Bible study I use the eSword software. It is available on all major platforms (including my favourite, the iPad version) and comes for free, or very low cost (a few pounds) on mobile platforms. I did pay for access to NKJV, MSG, NIV, and NLT. The software included TSK, Websters and Chuck Smith C-2000 for free, which I make great use of. I really like eSword.

I use Apple Notes to write up my study, and then Ulysses when I want to format it for sharing. My website is hosted on Micro.Blog, and I like it. I do not trap statistics regarding visits or clicks, and, I do not advertise. _(I make no money from this site) _

I do not use AI for Bible study, or writing. There is nothing wrong with using AI to find a reference or get a quick summary of something, but it’s disrespectful to repackage that when writing for an audience.

Print

My goto Bible for study is the Life Application Study Bible (NKJV). I also use the Open Bible, (NKJV) as the version I have put each verse on a new line, making it ideal for study, though it has less commentary than the Life Application one.

I also make use of the cheapest Message paraphrase I could find, as I enjoy its framing of verses. I recommend the NLT when reading aloud in groups, as it flows better for group study.

Theological stance

I believe that scripture is infallible, but all translations are all flawed in one way or another, so using multiple is useful. I enjoy reading passages on my own and write my thoughts before consuming commentary, this is useful in forming my perspective and is interesting when commentary disagrees with my reading as it gives me more in-depth insight.

Thanks for reading.

Fishing trip. A Final Fantasy XIV player update.

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 21:12:50 +0100

The first night, two friends and I decided it was time we learned to fish. We found a delightful spot, in an old port, and cast our nets blindly. We expected the entire event to last all but a few minutes before we were going to get bored.

I think it was three hours later than we finally decided it was time for bed. That’s three hours and about twenty levels.

Fishing in Final Fantasy XIV is a simple thing. You stand near the edge of some water, and click the cast button. When you see an exciting exclamation mark above your head (and a quick rumble of the controller for those who are playing properly) you click the button to reel in the fish. Depending on level, bait selection, location and luck, you get a fish of varying quality, or no fish, just disappointment.

Sure, as you progress through the levels, there are more skills, bait and in some areas weather is a factor, but the basic loop never changes.

It’s strange, then, that the three of us spent a whole Sunday night doing the same thing over and over, and having a delightful time.

The second time we played (the following Sunday) was even more exciting. The Moonfire Faire event was on. This meant that there was a brightly coloured and exciting ‘pool party’ on a large wooden boat. We played with the slides and cannons and failed at the jumping puzzle before actually doing the event’s quest (to get some rather nice clothing items) and then, well, we were on a boat, over water… so, we fished.

We fished for so long that the game told us to move on because we had extracted all the little sea critters, which was fun.

While we fished, many pool party goers stopped to inspect us and occasionally clap. As odd as it seems, I think we became quite interesting to people because we were there for so long, I think some people thought we were an event attraction. ☺️

It’s moments like these which you only get in MMOs. No other genre allows for this kind of thing to happen, and it’s symptomatic as to why I keep returning to this game.

The Black Mage in the room

Since returning to Final Fantasy XIV a couple of months ago now, I have not played my most levelled job, the Black Mage. I have levelled a Summoner, Fisher, Miner and Archer to around 40 but not even cast a spell as Black Mage.

When I came back, I did so with the intent of playing with and mastering controller input rather than a keyboard and mouse. This is because my main (and only) gaming device is an ROG Ally (unless we are counting my fantastic Miyoo mini, which we should because it’s awesome!)

It felt strange to start getting familiar with the controller using a high-level character, it, oddly, felt better to do so with a level one character and skill up as I went along. This meant I was only dealing with one or two skills at a time, being added as I levelled.

Now, though, I am familiar enough with my controller input that I think it’s time I return to the mage life. It feels strange, as, in some ways, I’ve not progressed since returning to the game and switching to Black mage again is a step towards the elusive MSQ.

Happy questing.

MMOs and their place in my accidental return to gaming.

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 21:39:11 +0100

I have spoken before, about how I used to be very into video games. However, about eighteen months ago, began slowly losing interest. For a long time, thinking I was ‘done with them, forever.’ Then I realised that I was missing out on good gaming time with my daughter and decided, somewhat impromptu, to get an ROG Ally.

I am honestly not sure if it was playing Battlefront 2 with my daughter, or remembering how much I liked the South Park RPG (The Stick of Truth), but I realised gaming wasn’t ‘over’ for me, I had just been doing it wrong. I played through the Stick of Truth, enjoying it as a nostalgic throwback to the first time I played it.

I think one of the myriad of things which turned me off gaming was engaging in gaming news, playing games I didn’t really like because they were supposed to be good, or someone had told me it was going to get good at the ethereal, ‘x hour’ mark.

I the most pithy way I can think to say it — I enjoyed gaming when I was enjoying games, not engaging with games as a topic.

recently, I have been playing Battlefront 2 with my daughter a few times a week and chipping away at RPGs before I go to sleep, and, I am having a rather nice time.

I gave some thought to when I was most happy with my gaming time over the years. When I really, deeply, thought about it, I had literally no negative memories, and a pile of positive ones, about Final Fantasy XIV.

You see, I didn’t stop playing FFXIV because I wasn’t having a pleasant time. I stopped because I was running a YouTube channel and it was destroying my content grind. My channel was in no way about Final Fantasy or MMOs. It was about Linux gaming and relied on doing something different every video, or stream.

But, you see, I have not been a YouTuber for quite some time. Actually, for a long time now, I have considered myself to be a writer. So, why wouldn’t I play FFXIV?

There’s a rather nice pre-made Mac port someone on GitHub put together. It also works on the Ally with no fiddling at all. There really was no reason not to at least have a check-in with the game. Sadly, the only way I don’t seem to be able to play is via GFN, though. This is because Square Enix likes to punish people for enjoying the game before it was on Steam, by only offering those with Steam licences the choice to play the game on GFN. ← I am somewhat annoyed about this, as you can likely tell.

I installed, resubscribed and loaded back in.

Oh my gosh! FFXIV is basically a dopamine drip.

I have been playing with some friends once a week and solo about twice a week for the last month.

While it is somewhat eating into my writing time, I have been quite a grumpy fella lately and an occasional break from my normal habits are likely good for me.

I didn’t go directly back to FFXIV either, I stopped off at World of Warcraft for a day or two (partaking in their trial) and quickly realised it was not engaged in it.

FFXIV stands out from other MMOs due to its strong story and, for me at least, its striking aesthetic. Instantly upon logging back in I was told, via a prompt in the upper-right corner of the screen what, and where, my next main quest mission was to be found.

This stands apart from World of Warcraft which made basically no effort to remind me where my character was in the main story, or, if indeed, there even was one.

I am not a ‘story guy’ in games. I far prefer to focus on mechanics and only take in enough of their story to have a rough idea why I am doing the things I am. Final Fantasy games always manage to pull you into the story, by having a darn good one.

XIV is no different in this regard. Even thought I didn’t recall the minutia of the plot, knowing there was one (and it is important to the world I spawn into) was enough to make me have a reason for my levelling, a reason to do the things the game asked me to do.

Whereas, WoW left me in the world without giving me a reason to explore it. I knew full well the endgame was the only major reason to be there. In FFXIV, the journey feels like it matters, rather than the destination, and, this made a massive difference to my engagement levels.

I intend to update you again soon on my progress in the game. Because I want to play mainly on my Ally, I have had to learn how to play with a controller. I think this has been a chronicle worthy event for me.

I’ll keep you updated on the progress ☺️

Final Fantasy XIV, on Mac.

Sat, 26 Jul 2025 11:51:13 +0100

I have a lot to say, and write about how fantastic FFXIV is, still. I’m currently drafting one of my signature rambling explorations, on the topic of MMOs. But, today, I’m here to drop information and little more.

I own a MacBook Air and wanted to go back to playing FFXIV. I expected this to be hard, however, it was not. In fact, it was shockingly straightforward. Thanks to a website/project that takes care of it for you.

Getting the game installed

Assuming you have an account, a currently live subscription, and a desire to play, then head over to Xivonmac.com where you scroll down a little and hit download. At the time of writing, it’s at beta 5.2.1 for Apple Silicon. I can’t attest to how well it works on intel, sorry.

The resulting download is a 65 MB tar.xz file called “XIV on Mac5.2.1.tar.xz”

My Mac is set up to extract the file on double click. But if you do have issues using the file, I suggest the free extraction program ‘Keka’ which you can get, as I said, for free, from the website, or pay £5.99 for a copy on the App Store. It’s actually well worth the six quid, if you are interested in using it for the long term. ☺️

Once extracted, you will see the clearly named file “XIV on Mac.app”

Double-clicking will result in a scary looking warning message which says:

_ “XIV on Mac.app” is an app downloaded from the internet. Are you sure you want to open it?” _

The options you have are Cancel, or Open. I believe this application to be safe, but I am not a veterinarian.

After clicking open, if you so choose to do so, and depending on your version of macOS, you will now have new questions.

Would you like it to access your folders (you probably do want to allow this so it can download the game for you.) Next, do you want to move this to your applications folder (you most likely do.)

Now provide your FFXIV login information (and OTP if you use one, and you should)

Hit login. It will now begin downloading the game, which takes ages. It’s an MMO and as such massive.

You can stop and resume the download. It does resume fine, but from the last completed file. No resuming on those big partially downloaded files, sadly.

Once the game is installed, there is a possibility it will tell you that your login failed, just reloading the application fixes it. It happens after the initial download or applying updates, sporadically.

The game should log in, but remain in a windowed state. I recommend setting graphics and resolution in the main menu, then hitting the green traffic light to fullscreen the game. I believe it uses the MetalFX upscaling system, so it looks impressive but is actually running at a far lower resolution than it reports. If you change the resolutions after full-screening, it seems to do as it report’s which can tank performance. _I realise now I am explaining this badly, but I hope you are macOS savvy enough that it makes sense. _

How does it run?

My M2 MacBook Air has 1TB of storage, 16GB of unified memory. I have the lower spec GPU (8 cores, rather than 10) and with all settings dialled in to a reasonable upper/middling setting and physics applied only to the player character, I get around 45-55 FPS.

Now, my computer, as you probably know, has no internal cooling fan, which means that as it gets heat saturated, performance tanks down to a bout 30 FPS. I have found that putting my laptop on one of those cooling tray things helps massively. The one I use is a big slab of metal with two fans in the middle (it’s by Cooler Master, and it’s hefty!) The active cooling doesn’t do loads, but it is enough to keep my Mac cool enough to maintain my higher frame rate indefinitely (I have played for over six hours straight without issue.)

It’s also worth noting that my it absolutely saps the battery dry, faster than you will likely think is reasonable, and, it generates a lot of heat. My Mac gets hot, like, really hot, which is not helped by the fact that I need to have it on charge while I’m playing because of the aforementioned battery savaging.

I have checked the XIVonMac guide, comments and issues, as well as some reddit research and some I spent some time looking at the technical specifications of the Air. I think, while it’s hotter than I have ever had it get before, it’s perfectly safe. The M series of chips and Macs, generally speaking, are designed to be used and not screwed with, as such, it’s quite capable of throttling its self as required to avoid damage. I have seen people on the internet artificially inflate temperatures far beyond what this game does, and, eventually, the Mac will shut itself down before allowing damage to be caused.

Basically, Macs are spectacular, and bombproof. Don’t worry about it. Unless you are one of those people who treat your Apple hardware like it’s a precious child, in which case, grow up or go away. Computers don’t last forever, stop being a freak about it, it’s fine.

Launcher settings

There are some options in the launcher which you can tinker with which may or may not improve performance and also allow you to turn on a performance overlay (which I used a lot during my testing.) There are also options to have the launcher save your OTP, which is both very insecure, and very useful for one button login.

The only options you may want to tinker with is the licence profile. If you own XIV in Steam, you have to tell the launcher so it can emulate that login profile. Or, if you for some nutty reason own the Mac licence only, you can set that too.

There are also some global key-mapping things which you may find useful for in game key-mapping.

Oh, and I should say, you probably want to make sure MetalFX spacial upscaling is turned on. I found my game run lots better with that toggled on, but I couldn’t really any documentation that made sense to me. If I had to guess, it’s similar to the AMD FSR thing. Basically as I said earlier, you set it in windowed mode, then when you fullscreen it is just upscales rather than renders at a higher resolution. But, regardless of if I have misunderstood something, it runs better when the box is ticked.

Mods! It has mods!

Yeah, one of the side effects of using a third-party launcher is that it has baked in access to a modding system called Dalamud. It’s a one click toggle that then adds a new item in the ‘escape’ menu in game, it allows you to install, toggle, manage and configure mods.

Technically, it’s against the TOS for the game. I doubt Square Enix know whether you are using them or not, as they all happen locally. I can’t find a reference to anyone getting banned for just using mods.

All that said, I also didn’t find any useful mods. I turned it off as it didn’t seem worth the hypothetical risk. Your milage may vary, but I found them generally quite annoying as they all want screen space. Screen space is precious on my 13-inch panel.

I should mention, if you do use mods, do not talk about mods in game. That will get you banned.

What is this magic?

I have a lot of experience gaming on Linux, and a lot of the magical terms that are used on the GitHub page for the project were very familiar.

Basically, it’s using a translation layer (DXVK) and some not-emulation-emulation tooling called Wine (Wine Is Not an Emulator… but without explaining countless technical underpinnings that no one should care about, it’s functionally emulating Windows… in the most simple terms.)

It’s the technology that lets the Steam Deck (a Linux computer) play your Steam games (Windows games.) It is very efficient, borderline magical, and insanely complex, on a technical level. But it’s well documented, well-used and very common. It won’t get you banned (I am not a veterinarian.)

So it’s good?

I have played a lot of the game on my MBA, without issues. It is good, and I intend to play a lot more. Honestly, if I had a MacBook Pro, I expect it would run far better than it does now. Simply because of the active cooling. Also, I think if you have an M4 based Air, it’s likely going to run way better too. Given that my laptop is less than a centimetre thick and has no fan, I had very low expectations. I didn’t buy a Mac to play games, I brought a Mac to write, so it’s a bonus that it works for me so well.

What are my other options?

You won’t get your Mac to play this game better than this pre-built launcher, I promise. The developer has done a superb job!

Personally, an option I am exploring right now is running the game on my ROG Ally and streaming it to my Mac (served by an app called Sunshine.) I think that’s a better way for me to go, just because my Ally is always close, and I don’t have to faff with pulling out a laptop cooling tray whenever I want to play for a long session. But, it’s probably not actually a better solution… I’ll keep exploring and let you know.

If you down FFXIV on Steam you also have the option of using Geforce Now (GFN) to play it, which, if I had the Steam version, is most likely the way I would do it.

It’s infuriating that Square Enix, don’t let us just merge those accounts. I would even pay a small fee to enable it.

You know now everything I know.

Thanks for reading.

Tool Snobbery Is Not a Writing Skill

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 13:29:12 +0100

Scrivener is spectacular. It’s outstanding. It is, probably, the best all-in-one writing environment out there. I have written at length about it over the years. I respect the application, the business model and the legendary developer who works on it. I love scrivener.

Though, I don’t use Scrivener.

I know, shocking. And usually not something interesting to talk about; however, I have today seen a reddit post which vexed me, and, as such, required me to write a response. Not on reddit because I try not go get involved over there, the response in question, you are reading, right now.

I also, don’t link externally from here because, well, why would I send you to that hellscape? — Anyway, the post was just a couple of paragraphs which basically said ‘I like Scrivener, but I spent too much time tinkering, and then I can’t find anything.’ This is a reasonable thing to say. But, do you know what the comments said? Can you guess?

‘You are the problem.’

‘Skill issue.’

‘Learn to use the application.’

‘Maybe you are not good enough of a writer for Scrivener’

Again, I am paraphrasing, but you get the idea. People didn’t like that this person didn’t get along with Scrivener.

As I said, I love Scrivener and often recommend it to people who don’t enjoy the flat/linear workflow of traditional work processors. I understand it, I learned it. But, I don’t use it.

The reason I’m ranting here, a little, as well as retreading old ground is because I firmly believe that all these people making comments to our original poster, as described above, are all arse hats.

It is, perfectly valid to say, “I like this tool, this tool is good, but it does not suit my needs/workflow as well as this other tool.”

For instance, I accept that Scrivener is ‘dope’ as we said in the nineties. Or ‘Goated’ as they say in the modern parlance. However, I still use Ulysses instead.

Personally, my reasons are probably a little simpler than the reddit poster but just as valid.

I like to switch between iPad and Mac, and despite the claims made by Scrivener mobile, it’s not as seamless as Ulysses, which just uses iCloud, and it works like magic.
I don’t use the notes or research features in Scrivener, I prefer Apple Notes. The reason is that I can edit small ideas on my phone with ease in a format I am familiar with.
Scriveners export tooling is terrible. To be blunt, its compiler is crap (I’ll die on this hill, if I have to!)
I prefer the ultra-minimal interface of ulysses.
Ulysses has built in proofing tools (LanguageTool premium is baked into it)

Now, I realise that to the hard-core Scrivener user/fan/nutter this seems mad because I could just use Scrivener and apple notes _and then _export to Vellum for my final compilation.

But, at that point Scrivener makes up such a small part of the workflow, why not use something i prefer anyway?

The argument is that Scrivener is a one-time payment, whereas ulysses is a subscription. Yes. And, I agree that subscriptions are the worst way of paying for a product, but I do use it every day. Heck, I wrote this very post in Ulysses then exported it to the website (Micro.blog based) with a single click. Unlike Scrivener, Ulysses gets regular update and additional features. Not that Scrivener needs more features, but the point stands.

Anyway, not I have defended my original case, I have to tackle the issue I wanted to moan about.

Do not ever assume someone is less skilled than you just because they prefer different tools.

If you assume someone is ‘wrong’ or simply under educated because they don’t use Scrivener, when you are saying that every writer in history who chose to ‘just use Word’ is incorrect. Be sure to let them know the next time they are doing a reddit AMA. I doubt Brandon Sanderson want’s to learn scrivener after making millions of dollars using Word and wikid-pad. Will Stephen King switch? Will George RR Martin move away from whatever archaic DOS based madness he uses just because reddit thinks Scrivener is best? No.

The art is in the words, not the work. The work is in time spent writing. No one ever got a Nebula for having a really nice Scrivener setup.

Orange is the new Pepsi

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 22:08:25 +0100

The single scariest moment in my life thus far was last Friday, when I went to the little fridge in my home office to find that there was, in fact, no Pepsi Max (Cherry) in there. The sadness and disappointment, combined with the shock and fear, resulted in an emotional cacophony the likes of which I had never experienced before.

This recounting may well be a little on the hyperbolic side, however, the resulting unravelling and discovery was euphoric. I went to the shop, and would you believe… they had no Pepsi Max (well, no cherry Pepsi) in my moment of disgust, and thirst, I grabbed some concentrate orange pop. Double strength, according to the label.

When mixed strong enough to hand to a cowboy movie hero or a knight of old, it was pretty good.

Now, I pay about a tenner for each tray of twenty-four cans of Pepsi Max (Cherry). I go through a tray a week when its hot (don’t start with me, there are no calories in it and I don’t give a wet poop about the dangers of sweeteners) so, taking advantage of whatever offers are usually on in my store of choice (Asda) I usually get a month’s supply for around thirty English pounds.

There is the mind-blowing thing though, instead of buying more Pepsi Max (Cherry) I investigated the orange dilute options. I found a litre of double dilute orange, with a twist of pineapple (the king of fruit) for one pound, sterling.

This absolute unit of a bottle will mix out to about ten bathtubs of cowboy drinkable nectar (this is not a scientific measurement).

I think for three bones of our dead monarchs (formally pounds) I can drink like a champion all month.

The orange pop contains less caffeine too, so it’s likely less bad for me (not good for me, but less bad than Pepsi Max (Cherry). If the fancy takes me, I could even try a mango twist instead of pineapple (the king of fruits), not that I would want to because pineapple (the king of fruits) is the king of fruits!

I explored the seasonal summer ‘please rip me off with overpriced tat’ aisle and found a four litre plastic barrel with a plastic yellow tap on the site for six golden nuggets. Now, my fridge is an exciting, inviting container of a container of orange awesome.

Money saved, beverage switched. ☺️

Book Club - All systems Red (Murderbot)

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 22:17:28 +0100

Last week, looking for something to watch while I ate a massive bowl of rice and vegetables (a new staple for me. I put a lot of soy sauce in it), I pressed play on the new Apple TV show, Murderbot.

I watched the first three episodes and loved it. It’s a science fiction show with a premise that is, frankly, genius. It’s from the perspective of a security robot who has hacked its mind to become autonomous and unrestricted. Its life mostly consists of watching bad sci-fi shows, being neurotic, shooting big centipedes and other (less nice) robots. All while trying to pretend it isn’t a rogue unit around the annoying humans.

I had no idea it was based on a book until I did the ritualistic “web search for the thing I like” and discovered the source material. The first book is All Systems Red. The author, Martha Wells, has previously written novels set in the Star Wars and Stargate universes, as well as a well-received fantasy novel. There are more, but I was too focused on The Murderbot Diaries to do any sort of deep dive.

I grabbed the first book on Audible because it was free with my membership, and I quite literally started and finished it in a day. This isn’t quite the epic feat it sounds like, as it’s a short book. It’s very punchy, and I didn’t feel the need for more than a short coffee break before reaching the end.

The titular Murderbot is deadpan and nihilistic in ways that are subtly saltier than in the TV show. The story is told entirely from a single perspective, but it often feels like a third-person narrative thanks to Murderbot’s use of remote cameras to fill in the narrative blanks.

Murderbot has been left on contract to protect some hippy scientists doing a planetary survey, but it mostly tries to ignore them while watching space-Netflix. When things get prickly, it constantly compares real life to the space adventures it’s seen on TV. It tries its best to be a good guy, but never quite rules out mass murder. Though, at times, it does feel like it’s trying to convince itself that it’s more aloof than it actually is.

The book and TV show diverge a few episodes in, but the overall plot seems to be following the same arc. Despite having finished the book, I’m still enjoying the show. I’d recommend both, unquestionably.

Life in Sips: A Memoir in Beverages

Sat, 17 May 2025 13:52:06 +0100

The delineating factor in the chapters of my life has often been tangentially linked to my beverages of choice.

On my first day of college—many, many years ago (1996, if you want to get personal)—I was a nerdy kid with very few skills, deeply self-conscious, and in deep denial about basically my entire personality. I had no idea what was cool, no social skills to speak of, and my main concern was not looking like an idiot. Pretty normal for a sixteen-year-old in the nineties.

I stood in line at the college canteen—a larger-than-expected room, filled with students who all looked more interesting and more at home than I felt.

The person in front of me (whose name I sadly can’t remember) was a long-haired guitar player who wore a lot of denim and talked fast. He was on the same IT course as me. His reason for enrolling? “Because computers are more interesting than music class."

Nameless Cool Kid ordered a bacon sandwich and a black coffee.

Panic hit. I had no idea what I was going to order. At school, I mostly drank Panda Pop and ate crisps because they were cheap.

I blurted out “Sausage sandwich,” because I didn’t want to copy him too blatantly. But when it came to the drink, I also said, “Black coffee, please,” and tried to act like it was totally natural.

The guy behind me ordered a chocolate milk and a large cookie. I was relieved I wasn’t following him instead.

We sat down, and Nameless Cool Kid loudly proclaimed, “Nice to know there’s another black coffee drinker in our group!”

I was stuck. Doomed to be one of the black coffee people. No problem, right? That’s cool.

Then I took a sip.

If you’ve never had coffee before, black coffee tastes like warm tar and smells faintly of ash. Until you eventually fall in love with it, that is.

Still, I drank black coffee for the rest of the year. And oddly enough, by the end of it, I genuinely enjoyed it.

Nameless Cool Kid dropped out about two weeks in. Later, I found out he got arrested for stealing his neighbour’s car. He might have been a loser and an actual criminal—but at least he was cool.

Years later, when I got married, I became obsessed with this 1970s coffee maker someone gave me. It made terrible coffee, but it looked fantastic.

When I separated from my wife, it sprung a leak. Poetic.

There’s a lot in the middle here that I’m glossing over, but I went through a multi-year tea phase—eventually abandoning it when I realised tea was making my teeth look like I’d just returned from a three-day heroin bender.

A couple of months ago (as I mentioned in another post), I injured my knee and then made it worse by falling down the stairs.

During my sad recovery, I drank a lot of mixed fruit juice and felt sorry for myself—almost constantly.

Ideas began to form as I nursed my knee, and strangely, last Saturday I went to a gym for the first time ever in my life.

I know plenty of people my age who haven’t been to a gym, but still, it felt odd. I’m 44 and had never once set foot in one.

I have a foggy memory of being in a gym-like place with my dad around age twelve, but I’ve decided to disregard that entirely. Might have been a dream.

Now, I’ve been to the gym four times and have thoroughly enjoyed it, so far.

I started drinking Monster Energy Ultra (sugar-free)—not for any deep reason, just because it was in the vending machine after my first session. It satisfied me. Now it’s tradition.

Exciting times, I know.

Incredibly, my knee pain has massively reduced in just over a week of gym visits. I suppose all those gym bros are onto something. Who knew?

Planning three fitness trips a week, church on Sundays, and Bible group on Wednesdays has—for the first time ever—left me with less time to write than I’d like.
But it’s giving me new experiences and more time to reflect. That reflection, no doubt, will end up back in the writing anyway.

I’ve spoken before about the changes in my life over the past few years. Every one of them has made me a little bit happier. Closer to bliss? Who knows.

But I’d like to take a moment to outline a few of them:

On 23 June 2024, I was baptised. Officially a Christian. That has been entirely positive in my life. I love Jesus, and knowing Him has made everything exponentially better.
Over the last few years, I’ve written about five books. I say about because the novella/novel distinction is something I still argue with myself about. Writing brings me joy—and a sense of calm I treasure.
A little over a year ago, I got a dog. There is no downside to having a little fur pal.
I started drawing. I’m still very bad at art, but I love using that part of my brain. It helps me see things differently—perhaps more deeply.
I started playing chess a few months ago. I’m literally trash at chess, but there’s something about the precision of the game that I find beautiful—even if my own playing isn’t.

And now, on top of that, I’ve started drinking Monster Energy and going to the gym.

Imagine going back to pre-COVID me and telling him all this.

I’m not sure I’d recognise myself.

Let’s hope the trajectory of joy continues.

Also, for the record—Monster is not overrated.

Monster is dope.

Unlearning the Confidence Trick

Sat, 26 Apr 2025 13:37:20 +0100

Confidence carries people a long way in life, often before their skill is ever truly tested. It offers a unique kind of freedom from doubt and has a way of putting others at ease. Confidence is the tool of choice for many of the heroes we admire. When used appropriately, it’s a genuine virtue.

I’ve been thinking a lot about confidence as a resource lately, ever since I heard someone describe a genre of music as ‘confidence pop’. This catch-all term seemed intended as a slight, aimed mostly at artists like Meghan Trainor and Pink. However, I didn’t take it as the scathing critique it was meant to be — in fact, it struck me as quite a compliment. Since then, the idea of confidence as a resource has been quietly percolating at the back of my noodle stack.

In some obvious ways, I’m far less confident now than I once was. I used to make regular YouTube videos about Linux, technology, and gaming, often speaking with conviction about topics I only had a rudimentary understanding of. Yet, I still attracted plenty of clicks and, at one point, had almost 11,000 subscribers. Not exactly a huge channel, but certainly bigger than many who were probably more qualified than I was.

For a time, I was producing a video every day about different indie games, talking weekly about Linux as a platform on a podcast, and sharing my faux, shallow wisdom with anyone willing to trade a click. And honestly, I had a brilliant time doing it.

Over the last few years, though, I’ve learned to be more honest with myself about my value and skills. I don’t think I could bring myself to offer my unfiltered musings to the public in the way I once did. Now, whenever I write a post, I consider its audience, its value, and its intended impact.

My last update prior to this post was a sketchy drawing of a woman exiting a space pod, loosely inspired by the recent Blue Origin mission that had been all over social media. While I intended it to be topical, it was really just an interesting visual moment which I wanted to explore through drawing. The style was meant to roughly imitate the look of the classic Scottish comic ‘The Beano.’ The focus was on capturing playful visual forms, not creating a polished, serious piece. I wanted people to look at it and think, “That looks cool, that’s fun,” not take it as any kind of social commentary. And honestly, I think it was a success.

I’ve also recently posted short ‘micro post’ too— a collection of random musings about drawing software, pop culture, and writing habits. Each of these small updates was meant as a kind of noted musing, and hopefully, a future conversation starter for the few people who read my content here. Even the smallest of my posts has a purpose and intended value, however vague or modest.

In contrast, one of my most viewed YouTube uploads ever was titled “Raspberry Pi 3 running Ubuntu MATE” from back in 2016. It’s nine minutes and forty-four seconds long — and quite literally pointless. I was logged in via Remote Desktop to a well-documented SoC computer, using a well-known OS and desktop environment. There were probably a hundred videos better than mine posted months earlier. But in my hubris, I felt I would have some unique insight. That video now has 67,898 views and a 77% like rate. It is, objectively, one of the worst videos on the topic that exists.

However, a combination of my subscriber count and average view numbers meant it kept bobbing around people’s feeds because the algorithm decided I was a pretty safe bet. No one should have watched that video. They shouldn’t have pressed like. And they certainly shouldn’t have subscribed on its basis. Like most of my previous uploads, that video is now set to private on my channel, and I feel better for it.

To outsiders, my recent honesty about my history as a YouTuber — and my unwillingness to waste people’s time with future uploads — might seem like I’ve lost my confidence, or had some bad experience that warned me away from the platform.

The truth, however, is simpler: I’ve reached a place in life where I no longer seek validation through half-baked creative endeavours.

I always wanted to be the guy talking enthusiastically about the things he loved — but in reality, I became the badly informed, overly confident talking head with under-explored opinions, straw-man arguments, and almost no useful commentary at all.

When I explore my back catalogue of (mostly now private) videos, I’m often shocked at my bad takes, ashamed of my potty mouth, and regretful of my opinions.

Still, I don’t regret the kind people I met, the friends I made, or the strange chapter of my life where I genuinely believed I might make it as a YouTuber.

I’m quieter now. I’m more comfortable now — not being anyone of note. However small that notoriety once was, I’m better off without it.

I enjoy writing my books, overthinking things in my website articles, and feeling free to spend a long time unpacking a single thought (like this very post) without having to apologise for rambling.

This suits me better. It probably always did.

However, I have to admit — perhaps it is a confidence issue.

In a world where every YouTube video is lit like an art installation and shot on cameras that look like Hollywood movie rigs, I feel completely outpaced by what’s on offer. And honestly, I have no desire to sink my time into trying to catch up with a culture and a platform I don’t enjoy very much any more, and don’t actually think I could add value to. My time as a videographer has passed.

Confidence is at the root of it. Maybe it’s me who isn’t enough for the current YouTube landscape, and that I’m lying to myself just a little.

These days, I’m much more aware of my faults and weaknesses, and with that awareness has come a loss of the old confidence — the confidence to do things I know I can’t do well.

Perhaps there’s a fine line between a lack of confidence, and a confidence that I am found lacking.

For now, though, I’ll keep sharing my badly drawn art because I love making it.

I’ll keep writing my novels and posting my articles because I think I would go a little mad without this outlet.

And all the while, I’m confident that you are free to disregard my offerings — without contempt, without comment, and without malice.

That said, I’m also confident that those who do follow along, read, and ponder with me, will enjoy our time together — in this calm, pensive, and purposeful soup of ideas and noodles.

AI Panic: A Writer’s Eye-Roll

Mon, 21 Apr 2025 14:42:15 +0100

I write, and honestly, I think I write pretty well. I’ve written five novels (all available, for free, via the ‘My Writing’ button at the top of my website.) I am specifically commenting here on AI as a writing support tool.

AI has been a hot topic for a while now among creatives, hobbyists, opinionated internet dwellers, and news outlets. There’s absolutely an AI debate going on, and as with any transformative new technology, it’ll take time to figure things out. I think it’s been so high-profile partly because—for the first time since the internet arrived—we’re seeing a tech shift that could genuinely reshape a huge number of jobs in a way that most people understand with ease. I am not in any way against talking about interesting and probably important topics such as this.

But I’m not here to sell you on how amazing AI is, how bad it is.

There’s just one thing I want to say. There’s a lot of online noise right now in writing spaces—people loudly dismissing AI’s usefulness or demonising it in ways that are, frankly, a bit silly.

Recently, I’ve been trialling the Ulysses writing app (in fact, I’m writing this very post in Ulysses.) Whenever I try a new tool, I like to poke around and read up on it. That curious mood inevitably sends me down the rabbit hole of checking out other writing tools too. Which, of course, leads me to forums. And that’s where, today, I found myself growling at my screen.

I must’ve read a dozen posts where people ask if a given writing app has “AI baked in” like that’s a dealbreaker.

Now, remember—I’m a writer. I say that not as someone who wants to write a book someday, or who calls themselves an “aspiring writer.” I’ve written books. Plural. So I speak from an actual experience of spending thousands of hours using writing tools and software.

And let me tell you: I have never—not once—seen a writing tool force AI on a user. That would be ridiculous. Most writing apps don’t even enforce spell checking! Why on earth would they force AI on you?

Yet, every one of these forum posts is followed by comment after comment from people moaning about AI and declaring that they want nothing to do with it. And hey—fair enough. I would rather not read AI-written books, or AI-edited ones, or anything AI-outlined either. I want human voices telling human stories. But…

AI is a fantastic spelling and grammar assistant. It can proofread and suggest corrections in a way that’s really no different to Grammarly, LanguageTool or ProWritingAid—but it also allows conversational feedback, and it explains the reasoning behind its suggestions. Used sensibly, it’s no worse than the proofreading tools that have been baked into Word for decades.

So let’s stop pretending that avoiding it is some kind of noble statement. Plenty of writers don’t use spelling or grammar checkers—or only use them at the very end of a draft. I respect that. What I don’t respect is when people claim that “all good writers turn off grammar tools.” That’s just nonsense.

Personally, I welcome a bit of support when I make a typo or mangle a sentence like I’ve forgotten how English works. I use ProWriting Aid, rather than Apple Intelligence, but that will likely change one day.

Most software that offers writing support will gradually start to use LLMs. ChatGPT might become a universal spell checker. Apple Intelligence might finally start doing something useful. And if you’re unwilling to coexist with these tools, you may well be making life harder for yourself. Though, I agree it’s important to do so in a way which does not erase your voice as a writer.

You don’t need to check whether a tool has AI “baked in.” Just don’t use the AI features. Turn them off.

If, for some mad reason, AI ever does become mandatory, you can always go full George R. R. Martin and fire up WordStar 4.0. No one’s coming to insert Grok into the past on you!

Use it or don’t. But please — stop shouting into forums about how evil AI is. You’re not changing anyone’s mind, and you’re just irritating the people who are actually getting on with writing.

Edit: To be clear. I am talking about using AI as an editing/writing support tool. Not people who use AI to write scenes and entire posts. screw those people.

Living with Stage Manager: Accidental Clarity

Sat, 19 Apr 2025 15:07:36 +0100

Since the advent of the modern desktop paradigm in the mid-90s, not a great deal has changed in how we interact with desktop computing interfaces. Sure, the tiling desktop interface has gained popularity in the Linux world over the past decade — DWM, for instance, has been around for about 18 years now. But for the vast majority of computer users, the desktop experience remains largely the same, whether you’re on Linux, Windows, or macOS. Even mobile operating systems have settled into a familiar design language: a swipe-accessible app launcher, and that little pill at the bottom of the screen for multitasking.

macOS has always leaned on a more formal virtual desktop system for handling full-screen applications — something that often confuses new users. But aside from that, it’s not drastically different from the well-established Windows standard that most people have grown familiar with.

That is, until 2022, when macOS Ventura introduced Stage Manager — a baffling, seemingly underbaked feature that’s remained largely unchanged since its debut.

Since owning a MacBook, I’ve found myself regularly toggling Stage Manager on and off, trying to understand the reason for its existence. It always seemed a bit of a mystery to me. On iPadOS, though, it makes perfect sense — it offers a way to multitask that sidesteps some of the platform’s limitations, allowing you to switch between apps more fluidly with a pointer.

One use case that’s worked well for me is when I’m using my iPad (a 13-inch M2 Air) on the Magic Keyboard - Stage Manager lets me have my notes app open alongside a floating PDF window — perfect for academic work — and with a quick tap on the sidebar, I can jump straight into an almost full-screen browser window. While Stage Manager does support more than two apps on-screen at once, I think its primary strength is in offering a more desktop-like way of switching between tasks. It just feels more natural when you’re working with a pointer. Personally, I rarely use it when my iPad is off the keyboard, but it’s definitely come in handy whenever I’ve needed that flexibility.

On the desktop, though, application switching already feels pretty intuitive without Stage Manager. I’ve long held the theory that it’s mainly useful for iPad-first users who want something familiar when they’re on a Mac — and I still think that’s a solid benefit for some.

However, I have to admit- I turned Stage Manager on by accident over two months ago… and I haven’t looked back.

Once I stopped thinking of Stage Manager as an experiment and simply started using it as my default setup, I noticed my workflow became cleaner. I no longer had to contend with multiple windows from unrelated applications cluttering the screen. Minimising or hiding apps isn’t exactly hard work — but with Stage Manager, it’s handled for you. It’s one less thing to think about.

The ability to group multiple apps together in a single “stage.” This has allowed me to keep related applications side by side in more intentional, focused ways.

For example, I might have Scrivener open next to a Safari window with a research topic open, or a few dictionary tabs, in one stage. Meanwhile, another stage might contain a Safari tab with my online banking open, paired with my Notes and a financial spreadsheet. Each stage ends up being defined by a kind of “TV channel” logic — each one focused on a specific topic or task — letting me stay in the flow without closing down or rearranging things I’ll need later.

I’ve found it interesting that all the benefits I’ve gained from using Stage Manager have been psychological rather than technological. There’s no task I’m doing now with Stage Manager that I couldn’t technically do without it — even without minimising apps or entering full-screen mode. macOS has always been excellent for multitasking. But with Stage Manager turned on, I’ve found myself operating under this “TV channel” logic: choosing a stage isn’t just picking a set of apps — it’s picking a mental mode. When I switch to a stage, I’m also switching into the frame of mind I need to use it effectively.

It’s something I now find incredibly useful — and, increasingly, something I think about less and less. Earlier today, I tried turning Stage Manager off just to see if I was still enjoying it or had simply developed a habit. I missed it almost immediately. That separation of topic, of mental space — it’s become second nature. I rely on it without even realising.

That said, it’s not all positive. One downside I’ve noticed is that I’m now less likely to properly close unused applications. If they’re not part of a stage, I tend to just leave them running. It’s not a major issue — macOS handles memory well, and background apps without active windows don’t really hog resources — but it’s still a shift in behaviour. To counter this, I’ve been using an app called MagicQuit, which automatically closes apps after they’ve been idle for a set time. It’s been a handy way to manage a minor task.

It’s interesting how Stage Manager shifts the focus — not just away from windows, but from the management of applications. It changes what I think about and how I interact with the system. Technically, good habits become things I just don’t consider.

There’s also a bit of a learning curve. It’s not steep, but it does require some rethinking. At first, I was only using one app per stage — which defeats the point, really. It was only after some time (and a bit of experimenting) that I started dragging related apps into the same stage and began building stages based on tasks or topics rather than applications.

It’s worth noting that Stage Manager hasn’t replaced my use of full-screen mode. I still fullscreen apps — Scrivener, for example — when I want a distraction-free, dedicated space. But generally, I’m now less prone to having lots of apps in fullscreen, which I suspect may be worse from a resource point of view.

It even has me wondering whether I should dedicate some time to using it more consistently on my iPad — to give myself the same chance to adjust, and maybe make it feel more natural there too. That would fulfil the expectation I originally had for Stage Manager: a unified interface across my two main Apple devices.

But the truth is, it still feels less useful on the iPad, where I’m usually focused on a single app at a time. It doesn’t quite fit the way I use the iPad, at least not at the moment.

While I wouldn’t recommend Stage Manager to everyone, I do think it’s easy to recommend to people like me — people who tend to have multiple things on the go at once. And even then, I have to admit: it’s taken me quite literally a year of experimenting before I reached a point where it clicked, and I saw real value in it. So suggesting someone “just try it” feels a bit odd — like saying, “Give this a year of casual fiddling and eventually you’ll agree with me!”

That said, Stage Manager can be a meaningful improvement. But you have to let go of overthinking it. As long as you’re actively considering Stage Manager, it remains a topic — something separate from your workflow. Once it simply becomes a feature — something you use without thinking — that’s when it starts to show its worth.

I’ve also noticed that Stage Manager doesn’t seem to be widely used — or at least, it’s not often visible in the wild. It’s rare, for instance, to see a Reddit screenshot with Stage Manager active. And when it does appear, it tends to become a talking point in its own right. That tells me it’s probably not a particularly popular feature — which raises a question about its future. Will Apple keep supporting it long-term? Or will it quietly vanish in a few macOS versions’ time?

It’s something to consider. And perhaps yet another reason why putting time and energy into learning to use it might not appeal to everyone.

Regardless of all that, I do think Stage Manager is something worth trying — at the very least. You might find yourself reaping the same benefits I have. And ultimately, that’s been the point of this post: to highlight the value of a feature that’s easy to dismiss without giving it a proper chance. t

The Subscription Trap: Why I’m Abandoning My Favourite Productivity Apps

Sat, 12 Apr 2025 14:44:28 +0100

Recent changes to products I use have left me suspicious of application pricing. This, coupled with the capitalistic obsession of locking users into services, has led me to overhaul almost all of the software I rely on for productivity. I’m mad as all heck about it, and I hope the following paragraphs serve as a warning to those who haven’t yet noticed this creeping trend.

I realise that what I’m about to describe is exactly why the free software movement exists—something I learned during my decade of running Linux. Somewhere along the way, I forgot that lesson. But recent demonstrations of greed from software I once adored have reminded me in no uncertain terms.

Case 1: GoodLinks

When I purchased GoodLinks, it cost £15. That wasn’t a subscription or a limited-time offer—it was a one-time purchase. The app was offline, server-free, and didn’t rely on ongoing revenue to function. At the time, nothing seemed off.

But this simple, seemingly honest purchase was the beginning of my distrust. It made me realise how easy it is to fall into the trap of assuming that apps will stay as they are.

GoodLinks lets me capture links and articles, saving them locally and syncing through iCloud. Then, almost a year ago, the app transitioned to a subscription model. It caught me off guard. Suddenly, I needed to pay £5 a year to access new features. The first feature? Article highlighting—something I’d genuinely wanted.

In hindsight, I would have paid for it, begrudgingly. Since I had purchased the app within a year of this change, the feature was unlocked for me. But the way this was rolled out lacked transparency, or feature roadmap and that left a sour taste.

Even more frustrating is that, in the time since, no new features have been added. Users are effectively paying £5 a year for a single upgrade. That feels disingenuous—an opportunistic move to extract a little extra cash from loyal customers.

Case 2: Reeder

Next on my list is the RSS reader, Reeder. For years, it was a shining example of excellent design and fair pricing. You paid once per major version, and that was it.

Now? It’s free to download, but costs £10 a year (or £1/month) to use. It has changed—dramatically. The classic feed-based layout is gone, replaced by a timeline-style interface that feels more like a social network than a reading tool.

I tried switching to News Explorer, but I didn’t love it. And so, reluctantly, I returned to Reeder—not because it’s better, but because I actually like the new timeline… Annoying!

The previous version, now branded Reeder Classic, is still available, but it won’t receive real development. This feels like a false compromise. The developer is relying on loyalty and nostalgia rather than improving the product.

While I don’t expect the subscription cost to skyrocket overnight, even modest annual increases (1–2%) add up over time. And that’s assuming the model doesn’t shift again.

The only upside? Switching RSS apps is relatively painless.

Case 3: DEVONthink

Now we come to DEVONthink. This is the one that really ticked me off.

DEVONthink isn’t just a notes app. It’s a document management platform—a digital brain. I’ve loved it. Trusted it. I paid over £100 for the app, and it maintained a stable business model for years. My entire digital life has been stored in its databases. It always felt safe.

Until now.

With the release of DEVONthink 4, the pricing model changed—and not in a good way. The update brought a confusing, opaque “modern” pricing scheme that hasn’t been properly explained. Users are being asked to trust the developers, but there’s been no clear communication of how much it will cost year on year.

You can opt out of paying and stay on the version you’ve got—but for someone who relies on this app for mission-critical tasks, that’s not a gamble I’m willing to take. macOS updates and hardware shifts make old software unreliable, I can’t afford to risk data loss.

Currently, the cost of staying “licensed” appears to be around £100 a year. That’s not pocket change. And it’s very likely to increase. For me, this isn’t sustainable.

Escaping the Madness

I depend on productivity tools for organising my life, work, and commitments. These recent changes have shaken my trust in proprietary software and made me reassess almost everything I use.

So, I’ve made some changes.

I left BusyCal for Apple Calendar—and honestly? It’s actually quite nice.
I left Things 3 for Apple Reminders, which does the job surprisingly well.

Yes, I know Things 3 is unlikely to go subscription-based—it’s practically legendary for resisting the trend. But I’d have said the same about DEVONthink a month ago.

The biggest change? Leaving DEVONthink. I explored every option. Most were subscription-based. The free ones could flip to paid. Even apps you “buy once” could pivot overnight.

Eventually, I realised there was only one viable option: Apple Notes.

It’s not a research platform. It lacks DEVONthink’s smart sorting and relational features. But it works. After migrating around 800 notes, my conclusion is: It’s fine.

I plan to stick with it. I’ll resist the temptation of shiny new tools and focus on stability. With an all-Apple setup, Apple Notes offers the most stable pricing model I can find (free with OS) as long as I stay on a Mac.

A Compromise: AnyBox

There’s one exception to my new anti-subscription stance: read-it-later apps.

Safari’s reading list isn’t enough for my long-term archiving needs. So I’ve stuck with AnyBox, which I paid for with a “lifetime” license a couple of years ago. The terms were very clear: one-time fee, full access, forever.

Yes, it’s a gamble. But until Apple offers something better—or Apple Notes adds clipping—I’m staying put.

Final Thoughts

I feel bad. My bad experiences with proprietary apps have made me less willing to pay developers—even those with good intentions. But I need a stable, sustainable workflow for my own sanity.

Have you run into similar frustrations? Have the tools you rely on shifted beneath your feet? I’d genuinely love to hear your experience.

Full Keyboard Access? More Like Full Keyboard Chaos!

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 13:50:00 +0100

While Apple Intelligence turned out to be less intelligent than we all hoped, my Magic Keyboard turned out to be more magical than I expected, once I changed a single annoying setting.

If you don’t care about the narrative and just want to know how I made my Magic Keyboard better, I respect that.

Go to: Settings > Accessibility > Keyboard, and turn off Full Keyboard Access. You’re welcome.

Right, back to the narrative…

Since getting a used Magic Keyboard for my iPad, I’ve been kind of middling on it. The keyboard itself is far heavier than I hoped—it makes my 13” iPad Air (M2) as heavy as my 13” MacBook Air (also M2). But, for me at least, in theory, when I’m traveling, the iPad does slightly more than the MacBook. I know, a mad thing to say at first glance—but I really like to draw and write. Once I’ve attached the keyboard, the iPad can do both. The MacBook just does the writing part—really well, but that’s it.

There was, however, a problem.

The first and most obvious issue: when I press ⌘+Space to bring up Spotlight, the first press of the spacebar doesn’t add a space—it activates selection.

And when I open Pages, the first tap of the spacebar puts a highlight around the active window. In Pages, this causes the whole page to go slightly yellow, with a stronger yellow border. After that first tap, things behave normally, but it’s… weird.

I assumed maybe my used Magic Keyboard had some minor fault. But then I noticed the same issue with a separate Bluetooth keyboard I use at my desk for art. The spacebar was triggering layer-naming or selecting windows entirely in Clip Studio Paint (CSP.)

At that point, I figured iPads were just a bit janky with keyboards. But how could that be? Loads of people on Nebula and YouTube use iPads as their main computing devices, and none of them mentioned this oddity.

So I went off in search of a fix.

Turns out it’s an accessibility feature, seemingly turned on by default (I certainly don’t remember enabling it). Under Accessibility > Keyboard, there’s a setting called ‘Full Keyboard Access.’ I haven’t researched what its exact use case is, but turning it off instantly fixed everything.

Now I can use space, arrow keys, and shift buttons like a normal person. No weirdness. And I’m honestly shocked I didn’t investigate this sooner.

If you’re having trouble with hardware keyboards on iPad, I hope this helps you too.

☺️

Art: Sleeping in the garden

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 08:02:48 +0100

Art: The before the last supper.

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 12:17:42 +0100

While i usually post my art on Niceferatu.net (see comic link in title bar) I had a random idea which I decided to draw last night.

Please note, this is meant to be taken as a cute (hopefully) lovingly drawn little cartoon, not theology!

Updates from the Creative Trenches.

Sat, 22 Mar 2025 15:11:35 +0100

I think I’ve said before that if asked, I wouldn’t describe myself as a creative person. Which is quite contrary to the truth when I look at the novels I’ve written, the badly drawn comic I work on almost weekly, and the years I spent making YouTube videos. I’ve never understood why I don’t feel like a creative type.

I think it’s because writing novels takes so long that sharing a finished product is infrequent — giving imposter syndrome a long time to settle in.

Despite all that, I thought I’d give my tens of followers a little update on what I’m working on. I’m hoping I can remember to make this a semi-regular thing — maybe every other month, depending on how the projects are going.

There are three creative projects currently in the works, and they are…

Writing Project 1: The Eternal Blonde

The Eternal Blonde is the working title for a short novella about a planet called Myth, which houses some odd secrets and a strange curse. It’s a science fiction story, but the planet itself has a fantasy-like feel thanks to lost civilisations, evil computers, and possibly even Olympian deities.

The story follows the adventures of an officer named Frank Krank, who arrives to take over the mining operations at a single, small outpost on the planet.

The project is about 20,000 words long so far, I’m intending to finish at 60,000. I’m aiming to present it in a similar style to The Chronicles of Ned — and, like Chronicles of Ned, it’s intended to be a setting I can return to for short- to medium-length stories that entertain without overstaying their welcome.

This project is expected to be released mid-year ‘25.

Writing Project 2: Denouement 3 - A Thousand years north

Denouement, Part Three has the working title ‘A Thousand Years North,’ and is intended to be the concluding chapter of the Denouement series I started a few years ago. While it’s the third numbered instalment, there have actually been two more releases set in the same universe (Week and Of Gods and Vampires).

I have to admit I’ve been putting off actually finishing it, because I don’t intend to write in this setting again after this release — or, at least, not for a long time. I’ve grown quite attached to these characters, and I think the idea of letting them go feels a little bittersweet, especially since I know not all of them are going to get a happy ending.

Still, the project is currently at 55,000 words — just under halfway done. Since it’s the final entry, I also plan to bundle it with a short story called Epistles, which will be formatted as a script rather than prose. Epistles will serve as the definitive final point in the universe’s timeline — the last thing I ever intend to write in this setting.

Drawing Project: Niceferatu

As many regular readers here may know, I started working on Niceferatu almost a year ago. It began as a one-off doodle, but over the following months, it evolved into a setting for random thoughts — really, a platform to learn how to draw. Eventually, it evolved again, and for a while now, I’ve been semi-regular in my output. (Okay, not that regular, but I’ve tried.)

Niceferatu is currently available on its own website, which you can find by clicking COMIC on the header of this page or by going to https://niceferatu.net.

I still consider this a long-term investment of time — both to learn Clip Studio Pro (my app of choice for comic book creation) and to improve my drawing skills. I’m hoping that by sticking with regular releases (and I am trying to make it weekly, going forward,) I’ll keep getting better at art. Now and then, I watch tutorials on webcomics in the hopes of picking up a tip or two.

I have two ideas for other comics that I’d love to produce and release in a more long-form format. One is about a teenager from the south of England whose friend invents anti-gravity technology, and together they become superheroes (I know, silly, but dang it, it’ll be fun!) The other — which is no secret — is that I want to adapt my Denouement books into a graphic novel.

Anyway, those projects are far off in the future. For now, Niceferatu is weekly.

Blog/website Project: Well, you are looking at it

I’ve already spoken about how I switched my public-facing websites over to Micro.Blog and discussed at length why I did it. There’s really nothing else to add. The current platform is sustainable, reasonably priced, and seemingly very reliable. I’m planning to stay here for a long while, at least.

It’s the content I post — rather than the platform — that I intend to refine. The more astute among you may have noticed that I’ve been working hard to improve the quality of my posts. This has been helped by a little bit of proofreading from Apple Intelligence’s Writing Tools. Writing Tools is a locally processed, context-aware grammar checker — and it’s surprisingly good at picking out issues. I still rely heavily on Pro Writing Aid (PWA) for spelling, flow, and style checks, though.

I intend to offer more book reports going forward, as well as the usual personal updates. I may even branch out a bit and talk about my experience learning to properly play chess.

I also have some Christian-themed ramblings planned. The issue is that while I’m well-versed in the Bible and Pentecostal Christianity, I’m not a scholar or theologian — just an attentive reader. I’ll present my Christianity/Bible posts as such, but I’m always aware of the risk of leading people to incorrect conclusions through bad writing. That’s something I’ll carefully consider before publishing any Christian-tagged posts.

That’s it! We’ve reached the end of all the updates I wanted to share. I sincerely hope you continue reading here — and don’t forget, you can get all of my books by clicking the BOOKS button in the header of this site. They’re available for free in PDF and ePub format, but I’m happy to provide other formats on request.

If you enjoyed this and want to shoot me an email or leave a comment, you’re most welcome to do so. I read all comments and reply to all sincerely written emails.

And remember the most important advice I have to offer you: no human should be on social media. Please don’t link my articles on X/Twitter!

Lost in the Dark Forest of the Modern Internet

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 13:25:24 +0100

I recently stumbled across an interview with David Mitchell which opens with him declaring that the internet is as harmful to humans as nuclear weapons. Two things to note: first, this is a five-year-old video; second, he’s a comedian who often uses hyperbole to sharpen his point. But in this case, there was a sincerity to his tone that I found haunting.

We all know that at least some people want a change in the way the internet is presented and used — this is most evident in the emergence of the fediverse but the meteoric rise and sudden fall of the Gemini protocol a few years ago also exemplified the widespread desire for countercultural change. (I understand that some individuals will claim that Gemini remains popular, but those people, unfortunately, are delusional.)

To be clear, my own stance is that the internet is past the point of redemption — in the sense that it will never return to the whimsical, low-stakes state it had when I enjoyed it most: the late 90s. I recall, years ago on a podcast (.XPenguin), screaming the mantra “the internet is burnt” while gleefully talking about my new text-only website and lamenting that HTTP had been the victor over the far more sustainable Gopher protocol. In short, I theoretically support the counterculture. However, I’ve never believed that federation was the answer.

It’s also no secret that I’ve been changing the way I use the internet over the last few months — a topic I’ve touched on in many posts on this platform. But until I stumbled upon the idea that the internet might be as dangerous as weapons of mass destruction, I hadn’t for a moment felt that I was actually right in making those changes. Until that moment, I had assumed I was just experiencing a ‘mood’ about the state of social media and the worrying trend toward the financial extraction of every possible penny of value from the cattle-like users of the modern web. Basically, I worried that it wasn’t the internet that was burnt, but that I was burned out with regard to it.

One symptom of this shift has been my recent habit of turning the Wi-Fi off on my laptop a few days a week (only turning it on for a few seconds about twice a day to sync email.) There was a time — probably about five years ago (ironically, when David Mitchell gave the interview I referenced at the start of this post) — when the idea of extended periods of offline time would have felt almost terrifying. Now, though, I bask in the freedom it offers. It’s usually the time in my week when I feel the most productive — and oddly, it hasn’t made me use my computer less, but more, because I can write and draw without distractions bombarding me.

I think in a recent post I talked about notifications being a thorn in my proverbial side, but now that I’ve pondered the topic more deeply, I wonder if the internet in its modern form really is dangerous. Is it actually causing real harm?

TikTok (which I have never used but somehow, through cultural osmosis, seem to know far too much about,) appears to encourage shallow thinking while tying it to strong emotions. YouTube Shorts have identical problems but seems to target a slightly older demographic (at least, in my experience of them.)

Facebook seems to encourage echo chamber discussions — but at least it reminds people of their auntie’s birthday, so I suppose it’s only 99.999% bad.

Twitter (X as it’s now known, I’m told) seems to have become a hive of scum and villainy, now traditionally featuring lewd replies on heavily right-wing skewed content.

Instagram appears to be 70% subtle advertising for creators’ OnlyFans accounts or dicey vitamin supplements.

Reddit has for a long time now been a place where people insult the intelligence of others — though now people also use it like a microblog, posting pictures of recent purchases and giving unsolicited opinions about politics on every Star Trek post they see.

These seem to be the main faces of the internet for most people — and between them, they’ve lowered attention spans, destroyed critical thinking, and eroded traditional morality (I accept that depending on your personal stance, you may think that last one is a good thing — I’m here to rant, not judge.) They’ve changed the winds of social evolution and made the person with the most followers or likes the one whose message is most virally propagated. For better or worse, the internet has affected the world outside of the internet.

There was a time when communities, geographical regions, and friendship groups developed their own jokes, thematic agreements, and — dare I say — culture. Now, though, the internet’s digital colonisation has disallowed disagreement, dictated what’s funny and what’s problematic, despite regional, historical, or personal differences.

The problem is rooted in whether or not you think this is a problem. You see, to many people, this homogenisation of ideas is good because it allows easier connection with strangers, a universal memetic mode of communication, and an equalisation of moral norms. And I partly agree with that.

There are also a lot of people who see everything in the last paragraph as the erosion of artistic freedom, personal politics, and individual identity. They see it as the defence of cancel culture and the hive-mind force of agenda-driven change. And I partly agree with that too.

You see, I don’t believe that I’m smart enough to navigate the internet anymore. I fear sharing opinions — which feels quite strange given that I don’t actually think I hold any particularly problematic stances. I feel like I have no idea how people will interpret what I say — but I’m sure they’ll do so in the least charitable way possible, twisting my words to make them seem as problematic as possible. Heck, I almost didn’t post this very article because I worried I’d said something that would lead to cancellation — and all I’m doing here is saying that I think the internet is problematic.

Also, I’m not on social media, which makes me wonder if I’m actually cancellable. (My posts aren’t even mirrored on Bluesky anymore, aside from my poorly drawn comic art, which is posted on Niceferatu.net.)

However, I’m aware that because I’m rambly and not very politically in-tune with the zeitgeist, I’m always having to think about what I post here. Despite having almost no internet presence outside of this very site, I worry about being taken out of context or interpreted uncharitably. And the very fact that I have this concern — despite being mostly reasonable, not making strong political statements, and being blissfully unaware of trends — shows how deeply rooted my fear of the internet has become.

The internet is no longer whimsical and lighthearted; it’s now a brutal and dark forest where rodents of unusual size and sudden eruptions of flames could strike at any moment. At some point, I began to fear the internet and the strangers who live there — which I am forced to admit, to me, proves that everything I’ve said in this post is at least true, for me.

I miss the internet of old and the joy it held in every strange little homepage I stumbled across. No matter how small the small-web gets, and no matter how federated the fediverse becomes, the internet is not the place it once was. It all became too real — and too harsh.

So why do I keep posting on this site? That’s a reasonable question, and I don’t have an answer. I think it’s because I like to write, and writing sorts out my thoughts. I don’t know what else to tell you — maybe it’s a habit I learned back when my ISP gave me “webspace for a homepage of my own!” Or maybe it’s the death rattle of a disillusioned soul screaming for someone to agree and make it all feel slightly better.

From War Games to Web Gains

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 11:41:34 +0100

For many years, particularly during my teenage years, I secretly aspired to be like David Lightman. However, considering the pickle he found himself in, I can’t help but feel relieved that my efforts fell short. Besides, Cheyenne Mountain is quite far away. I suspect that WOPR has been replaced by a big ring now, which means I probably never stood a chance anyway.

This focus on grand aspirations led me to believe that WordPress would serve as the permanent home for Dandelion-Utilitarian.com. Its flexibility assured me that I could bend it into anything I envisioned without having to start from scratch, and its widespread popularity meant there were abundant guides and resources available. It represented refined maximalism and was a solid long-term choice.

I don’t naturally gravitate towards maximalism, because of this, I maintained a live mirror of the site’s posts through the Micro.Blog service on the dot net counterpart to my dot com site. Over time, I gradually realised that this straightforward mirror was the page I considered my main site. It offered the flexibility for quick, micro-blog style posts alongside full-length articles and extended musings. Despite its minimalist design, the blend of short and long-form content made it more versatile than the WordPress site.

The other day, I came to the realisation that what I truly desire isn’t flexibility; just a platform where I can post content accompanied by an RSS feed. In an almost whirlwind of activity, I decided to delete the Hetzner server that hosted my WordPress site and upgraded my Micro.blog subscription to the premium tier. This change allowed me to host multiple blogs, which was useful, as I wanted a separate feed for my ‘Niceferatu’ scribblings. The best part? By no longer paying for Hetzner, the upgrade didn’t actually cost me anything extra.

I spent many hours setting up my WordPress site, which taught me a lot about both technology and design. I don’t consider that time wasted, just a little educational project. However, I can’t help but notice that it only took me about 45 minutes in total to configure both of my Micro.blog sites to my liking. With a more minimalistic approach, greater flexibility, and less effort required, it feels like I made the right decision.

I’m excited to share my random thoughts, articles, and longer musings freely from now on. I hope you all don’t mind this change.

Unpacking the opening - For those who didn’t follow the first paragraph it was a reference to the 1983 movie ‘War Games’ which has a nerdy boy named David accidentally get involved in a global crisis with a confused chess playing computer. The computer in question was housed in Cheyenne mountain facility, which was also the setting of the 1997 TV show ‘Stargate: SG1’

Niceferatu.net

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 21:15:43 +0100

After some consideration, tinkering, and general messing about, I’m pleased to confirm that Niceferatu.net is real! It’s just a place for my comic posts. It’s not a very good comic—but hey, at least I’m trying.

This project is mainly to help me improve my drawing skills, with the hope of one day creating something more longform (like The Denouement novel, but as a comic).

Anyway, this should keep dandelion-utilitarian.com safe from being overrun by badly drawn and very dry vampire comics.

It's all on Micro.Blog now.

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 11:48:34 +0100

I’ve transitioned both Dandelion-utilitarian.com and hexdsl.com to the Dandelion-utilitarian.net platform, powered by Micro.blog. This may sound a bit complex, but simply put, I’m a huge fan of Micro.blog and believe it’s the ideal platform for consolidating my content. While those of you who enjoyed the WordPress site might have mixed feelings about this change, I think it’s a better fit given my reduced focus on videos and other online activities. Micro.blog just feels like the right choice for where I’m headed.

A Tumble, A Timeout, and a Lesson in Less

Sun, 09 Mar 2025 21:37:31 +0100

I remember watching a Batman movie and hearing Alfred say something that stuck with me. It wasn’t even a good Batman movie—if I recall correctly, it was the 1997 offering, Batman & Robin. The film itself doesn’t matter, but the words did. I remember them as: “A gentleman never discusses his health or finances.”

I’m almost certain this wasn’t an original Alfred-ism but rather a phrase with Edwardian roots. Still, it resonated with me, and over the years, it became something of a guideline—not with close friends or family, but in everyday interactions. When asked how I’m doing, I am always excellent, and I never casually discuss financial struggles.

But this time, I’ve been on a health related journey, one worth sharing, and perhaps one worth reading about.

I had been undergoing physiotherapy on my leg for just over a month. My right thigh had a muscle issue that was causing knee pain. Then, one Sunday, I was feeling quite well—so much so that I finally tackled some chores I’d been putting off for a while. As you can imagine, I was in an exceptional mood about my recovery. A mood that was, unfortunately, short-lived.

As I stood at the top of the stairs, my seemingly “fixed” knee failed in its kneely duties. I slid down the stairs, collided with the wall at the bottom, crashed against the rail post, and finally landed—ironically—back on my failed leg. The term calamity feels appropriate.

Since then, I’ve been in a state of recovery. I spent six hours in the hospital’s A&E, only to learn that my leg wasn’t broken—but I had torn whatever it is that makes an ankle do ankle things and given my knee enough of a whack to make it balloon like a potato.

The hospital also ignored my shoulder, clearly recognizing my undeniable manliness and assuming I could simply power through the pain (that’s a lie—they said it was badly bruised and didn’t need treatment. But I know it’s really because of my manly beard!)

In the couple of weeks since my high-speed descent into danger, I’ve experienced some unexpected side effects. Navigating stairs with my problematic limb has been a challenge, and I’ve had to regularly elevate it to reduce swelling. This has unexpectedly left me feeling somewhat… less than.

I’m so used to simply getting on with everything that needs to be done in my life. But having to take an enforced time-out—unable to keep up with chores, walk my dog, or fully focus on my writing—has put me in a pretty shitty mood.

I realized during my first foray into voice chat with a friend—the day after my injury—that I was irritable, short-tempered, and taking quite literally everything as a direct assault. Thankfully, I had enough self-awareness to give myself a week-long time-out. Even after that, I remained cautious about my mood before returning to regular nattering.

So, I took a week off. Not from work—let’s not get confused here. A dude still has bills to pay. I took a week off the internet. For the first time in, quite possibly, my entire adult life. I stopped short of turning off the WiFi, but I closed Discord, stopped checking emails, ignored YouTube, turned off notifications and avoided all news feeds. Instead, I sat, played chess on my iPad, and watched Vampire Diaries (which is a masterpiece, no matter what anyone says! A masterpiece, I tell you!)

In the evenings, I listened to music on my DAP (a Surfans F28), read books, studied scripture, and had some early nights—while doing my best to ignore the pain in my ankle and knee. (I didn’t even think about the shoulder, of course, because of my aforementioned manliness.)

I was still mad at myself for the fall and frustrated that I couldn’t keep up with chores. I know this might sound odd, but I genuinely like doing tasks. I find housework meditative, and walking the dog, playing with the dog—being obsessedwith the dog—is a genuine source of joy in my life. It was hard to do that with constant ankle pain.

But here’s the thing—I found new joy, unexpected joy, in stepping away from the internet in such an intentional way. I’m not someone with a doom-scrolling or social media habit. In fact, I think I have a far healthier relationship with the internet than most people I know. But still, stepping away was wonderful. There was a calm to it, a sense of freedom.

I still used Netflix, Chess.com, and, occasionally, Clip Studio Paint (which I think was using an internet connection sometimes—though I have no idea how that actually works, I just know I like to draw things). But these connections demanded very little from me—cognitively or socially—and it felt great.

Focusing on scripture without notifications distracting me allowed me to engage with the passages more clearly than before. Drawing became more zen-like, and writing—when my throbbing foot allowed—held me in a deeper trance than usual. And, just to hammer this point home, I never even look at notifications. I just clear them and get on with my day… but the total absence of them was noticeable.

This got me thinking—if I, someone who doesn’t have a toxic relationship with the internet, found solace in stepping away from notifications, news, chat apps, and YouTube… then what about the people who do have a bad relationship with it?

I half wish I could just pull the plug for the doom-scrollers and TikTok-obsessed masses. Imagine how freeing it would be to get all that time back. I don’t even think I procrastinate as much as most people I know, but somehow, I felt like I had hours back each day—just from being intentional about my internet use.

My leg is on the mend now, and I’ve started reintroducing things. I’ve slowly returned to voice chats and begun saying good morning in my Discord group. But I’ve also kept notifications off, set my email to “on demand,” and removed a lot of apps from my iPad and phone. Going forward, I think I’ll be using less of the internet, not more. And if I were offline for a long time, I think I’d be just fine—maybe even, possibly, a little better in some ways.

I’d definitely miss the connections I’ve made with people, but I wouldn’t miss all the culture, content, or crap I left behind. Maybe I secretly strive to be a Luddite, or maybe I’m just getting old. Who knows? But one thing’s for sure—I’m a grumpy bastard when I’m in pain.

I think I'm back 😁

Thu, 27 Feb 2025 22:38:53 +0100

I Had an excellent evening of writing. It’s been about a week since I have managed to gather the focus required but I am starting to feel more like myself and generally returning to my usual Zen-like state. I will likely feel more equipped to return to usual activities in a few days.

Also, drafted a blog about health, moods, and personal goals. I’ll proofread it tomorrow and post it. If I think its worthwhile once I go through it again

Fiction post: The Ghost.

Sat, 22 Feb 2025 16:24:04 +0100

The ghost sat alone in his chair as it slowly spun in the ambient draft of the cold office. He was contemplating the wasted hours spent playing video games, making videos, and trying to build a community. The ghost was alone because the body he had once been attached to was currently out in the world. He didn’t care where—it could have been anywhere, really. The ghost gave no thought to where the body had gone, only that it was absent.

The ghost dragged the mouse around the desk like a caveman dragging a rock along the wall of a cave to make rudimentary artistic etchings. The ghost had far less lofty goals; he simply scrolled through Reddit for a bit and then checked in on some of the more problematic social networks. After a while, feeling ghastly, the ghost decided to check the comments on his ghost-ship of a YouTube channel. The ghost still cared about the channel—the remnants of things that could have been. He reflected on the fact that he had once been a quadruple-Z-list internet person of interest. He wanted to feel good about that, to reclaim some of the faded glory and paint it onto his ghostly form in hopes of using it to become a body of his own—maybe even become somebody.

The body, blissfully unaware of the ghost, came home and sat down in the chair. To the ghost’s surprise, they did not merge into one entity as they usually did.

The body made himself a cup of coffee. The ghost hated that—he preferred tea. The annoyingly content meat sack then opened the computer and started tapping away at some writing he had been working on. After a few hours and another cup of coffee, the body, fatigued but satisfied, put his feet on the desk.

The ghost was thrilled; this was usually where he was needed. The melancholy of the room usually soaked in once the creative urge subsided. Being a persistent ghost, he began pulling memories from the “good old days” and dropping them into the body, hoping to steer things in the usual direction.

The task appeared to be complete when the body made a harrumph sound and waved the cloud of images away with a hand, as if dismissing a bad smell.

“This is it! This is where I get back in the driver’s seat,” the ghost boomed excitedly.

To his shock, the body had not slipped on the cliff-top of memories. It had not allowed the dirty wine of nostalgia to shove him off the ledge into the water and rocks below, as had happened so many times before.

Instead, the body simply pulled out his iPad and drew—badly—for a while. While drawing, he watched some TV and thought about how rewarding his terrible drawing felt. He had a pipe dream of one day being good enough to make a comic based on a story he had once written. He knew it was unlikely he would ever develop the skill or find the time, but, to the ghost’s dismay, there was no darkness at the edges of this vignette of a thought. The body was cheerful about having a goal, no matter how lofty and unattainable it seemed. He didn’t even mind that he had lost more time than he had intended and now needed to go to bed.

“Aha!” the ghost exclaimed, readying himself to siege the body’s dreams. This was where the melancholic dose of nostalgic poison would make the middling times pop like ’90s cartoons, and the sadness of unrewarding endeavours would feel like missed opportunities. The ghost sharpened his stick and sat next to the body in wait.

Dismay became almost a solid form when the body played with his dog for a quarter of an hour, then read a leather-bound book for a bit.

“Okay, I can wait!” seethed the spiteful ghost.

The body lay down, and the ghost looked over, stick at the ready. He lunged into the body and stabbed wildly, dropping nostalgic memories like napalm in the movies. He stabbed so hard that the stick broke. This didn’t stop him. He used the two halves of the stick like drumsticks and played a solo as if he were Neil Peart on stage, live in Tokyo!

The body snored happily. The dog farted and pulled the blanket over himself.

Maybe the ghost would like having a dog’s body… No, never mind, he got bit.

Morning came, and the body told the dog about his dreams of the good times. He then told the dog that the so-called “good times” were probably part of an ongoing depression—his dad’s ill health, his failed marriage, and his lack of direction in life.

“What changed?” the dog asked.

“Don’t even pretend you care—you’re a dog. Let’s go find you some breakfast,” the body said as the two of them raced down the stairs in search of better things, oblivious to the ghost.

That evening, the ghost again sat in wait. This time, the body had no plans and sat in the office chair as he often did. He worked on his writing and drank coffee, again to the ghost’s dismay.

This time, though, the ghost managed to push an idea into the body—just one little morsel of an idea, but it was something. The body stopped in its tracks, contentment evaporating like steam from a kettle. The ghost felt himself settling in again and embraced both the body and the sense of relief.

He was quite surprised, though, when the body moved without his consent. The memories began to backwash and infect him, like a dry sponge dropped into a bath.

“Oh, matey!” the ghost screamed as he was consumed for a time in the bubbles.

The memories that seeped into him were alien and disjointed. First came the memory of the hours spent making YouTube videos. The body, unlike the ghost, did not prefix the word “wasted” to the memory. The body was grateful for the time spent learning things and articulating thoughts. He knew that experience had built both his dedication to projects and his critical thinking skills.

The next memory was of building a community around the videos. Where the ghost had repeatedly said “trying to build,” the body was satisfied that he had connected people who otherwise would not have met. He had given a safe haven to long-forgotten servers and kept friendships alive. There had never been an explosion of bad feelings or missed chances. The body simply saw the community as something that had enhanced his life when he had needed not to feel so alone.

Then the body reflected back at the ghost the previous night’s drum-beating and nostalgia-stabbing, but without the framing of loss. The body had altered the memories, stripping away the sepia fade and the scented candles of overthinking. The body showed him the memories again—years spent tinkering with computers for the simple joy of it, years of playing video games as a way to pass time, and the strange desire to “be someone” through these endeavours.

The tinkering had not been wasted time but a source of joy. The decades of games were now looked back on with love, even if they could have been spent differently. And the body no longer saw the desire to “be someone” as failed—it was simply amusing. The body did not want to be anyone other than himself, for an audience of one.

The ghost sat stunned and frozen. All his hard work, all his rage, hate, desire, and lust had diffused—without the body even knowing how hard he had worked.

Then the ghost realised something that terrified him.

The final brick in the wall of his cold, cavern-like prison among the body’s distant, useless memories…

The body was happy now.

The body didn’t need the things the ghost had once offered.

And worst of all… the body didn’t believe in ghosts.

Chess. I forgot about it.

Thu, 13 Feb 2025 22:31:06 +0100

When I was a kid, chess appeared to be a game of magic. The mere concept of it captivated me. However, I must admit that this fascination was partly because of my limited exposure to the game, as I had primarily learned about chess through cartoon magicians, old fantasy movies, and this one artefact in my home.

The artefact in question was a small table, far too short to be useful. It was crafted from dark brown wood and had ornate, wavey legs. The top was so shiny that it resembled glass to me—it was a glossy, polished wooden chessboard. I distinctly remember that it lifted up to reveal a green felt lining that held the delicate chess pieces safe.

I have since been assured by my mother that the chess table was an ugly old thing with a loose leg and plastic chess pieces. It wasn’t highly polished at all; it was just slightly shiny because it was plastic on the top.

My dad taught me the basics of the game, although I don’t recall him ever having any interest in it. From what I understand, the table was more of a common early eighties home decoration than a sign of enthusiasm for the game. I had a feeling it was more often used to hold wine glasses it was than used to play on.

I have no idea what happened to that old table. It might be somewhere in the spider-infested loft of my home, but I’m not brave enough to embark on that quest.

I owe that table a lot because it was the catalyst for a promise I made to myself, a promise to learn chess someday. This idea has been lingering in my mind for quite some time now. According to chess.com, I created my account over seven years ago. I believe that it was the last time I reminisced about that table, and my dad trying to teach me how to play.

Over the past year or so, I’ve been playing video games less and less. This has left my mind craving something to occupy a small part of it that demands diversion. I have been writing more, learning to draw and even playing retro video games from my childhood casually, but none of this quite satisfied my craving. Then, a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a chess video on YouTube by sheer chance. One video led to two and two videos led to five hours of chess lessons in the Doctor Wolf Chess tutor app. In these few weeks, I’ve learned more about chess than I ever have, in my entire life, until now.

I have spent time doing puzzles, lessons and games on chess.com and lichess.org and even purchased a cheap physical board to attempt to tempt my daughter into playing with me. I have been watching the currently happening freestyle chess grand slam, video tutorials and reading books on the topic. I’m having an amazing time with something I’ve been certain I would enjoy since childhood, but somehow, before now, I never quite made time for it.

I wonder how many of you reading have things like this in your lives—things you always thought you’d make time for but haven’t done yet. My advice to you is to give it a try. Make time for a new hobby or interest. Years ago, I could have been enjoying chess if I had just made some time for something I was interested in, instead of watching Netflix and playing video games that I can’t even remember the names of now.

LumaFusion and the Power of the Cross-Platform App

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 10:30:23 +0100

LumaFusion is a video editing application, and in my experience, it’s pretty good. But what really blows me away is that it’s an example of a truly platform-agnostic app—at least within the Apple ecosystem.

I purchased it on my iPad (a 13 inch M2 iPad Air) for around £30. My main use case is editing short animation clips and using a proper video editor to manage transitions and link them together. While I’m very familiar with Kdenlive, I wanted something I could use on my iPad.

For my needs, LumaFusion is ideal. But what really impressed me wasn’t just the application itself—it was how seamlessly it adapts across different Apple devices.

It was originally designed as an iPad app, and it takes full advantage of the hardware. But it also works flawlessly on macOS, with full support for keyboard shortcuts, mouse interaction, and fullscreen mode.

I was also surprised to find that I could install it on my iPhone. While I doubt I’ll ever use it much on such a small screen, it’s nice to have the option.

This kind of cross-device compatibility feels unique to the Apple ecosystem. While I would never have switched to Apple just for these little perks, I have to admit—it’s really nice to have apps that don’t feel compromised on any platform. I doubt we’ll ever see a Windows application that installs on a phone as seamlessly as this.

It all feels like magic.

The Creative Gym (Learning art with no natural aptitude)

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 13:32:00 +0100

Humans make things. Whether this creative urge is unique to us or a common trait among all species that reach our level of social and technological development remains a mystery. It is also worth noting that the creative urge does not exist in all members of our species. Many people are perfectly content watching Netflix and eating cereal out of a box. Strangely, there has never been societal pressure to be creative. There is pressure to get a job and pay bills, get an education, and shower from time to time. But failing to find motivation to create does not cause any social issues at all.

Most of my friends create things. I know artists, coders, tinkerers, and writers. Most people in my life are working on a “project” or some other general creative task. I enjoy getting updates on their creations, even when I don’t entirely follow what they’re working on. There is something absolutely wonderful about listening to someone talk about what they are making. There’s an intimate passion that oozes from them when they speak of their “work.”

I have never thought of myself as creative—which is strange, considering my major pastime is writing fiction. I have published books, novellas, blogs, and even videos, and I have been doing so for years. I love storytelling. Writing has been the best way for me to do it.

And yet, oddly, I still do not consider myself creative.

This isn’t a self-esteem issue. I am proud of my writing. I’m happy to discuss my work with people. Genuinely, I think I’m a good storyteller. My prose may need tightening, sure, but the only way to improve is to keep writing—and I do.

I recently spoke in a post about learning to draw and how I was using the Niceferatu comic I post here as a platform for this endeavor. I have to admit, the postings of the comic have slowed recently. This isn’t because I have lost interest in the story or project. It’s because I realised that my art skills were not good enough to do justice to the story I wanted to tell.

While Niceferatu was supposed to be a platform for learning, it quickly became a platform for storytelling—one that my artwork was not yet good enough for. I even considered writing Niceferatu as a script or novella. Ultimately, though, the point of the character is to help me learn art.

So, to the gym I have gone.

There were a few things I had to remind myself of before I started, including, considering why I wanted to learn to draw.

I love writing. It is my main creative pastime. The only major downside to writing is that it takes a great deal of time to produce a finished work. I’m not naïve about this—I know full well that many people work on drawings for months. But I want to create basic art for a comic. I’m not trying to make high art or draft my visual opus.

I have watched hours of videos on composition, basic line art, and color theory. While I’m pretty sure some things I have drawn are “okay,” I have yet to create something that makes me happy. Progress is minor, slow, and very linear. But progress has been made. Sometimes, when I learn a new way of thinking about composition, it takes me a few attempts to work it into my flow—and often, I feel like I’ve taken a step backward.

I have come to think of this as a workout—a drawing workout. In fact, when I began to think of my art journey as a gym or a training regimen, I started aligning my expectations to a much longer timeline. In turn, my patience with myself has increased.

As I said earlier, despite writing a lot and telling many stories in the process, I don’t think of myself as creative. I think this is largely because my expectations of what it means to be creative are not reasonable.

I understand the process of writing well enough to recognize it as hard work—day after day, a consistent drive toward a goal. I don’t automatically consider this creative because I am distracted by the process and rarely reflect on the product.

With drawing, I have a different problem. I have always associated “being creative” or “artistic” with natural talent, but I am now at the point where I recognise talent as the end result of hard work. Maybe, one day, I will consider myself creative. But not until I finish my time at the gym of practice.

I wonder how many other people feel this way.

Is my future offline?

Sun, 12 Jan 2025 22:13:54 +0100

As I’m sure many of you have noticed, I have recently been on something of a cleanse. Ejecting things from my life which I feel are no longer relevant. Trying my best to live intentionally and considering what adds value to my life, and what are things which I use as crouches for someone I used to be. Towards the end of this year, I am hoping to be in a financial position where I can buy a camper van and have little weekend excursions with my dog. I one day hope to retire into a mobile home of some kind and visit Europe, assuming there is a way to have my dog come with me, that is.

This pipe-dream about a small space, mobile future has been leaking into the decisions I make day to day. While I am a fair way away from having to think about the practical things, I have something of a clear thought pattern. I have likely mentioned it here before:

If something won’t work as part of my van life, it’s going to have to go eventually, so why bring it into life, or keep it in my life now?

This gets condensed into far fewer words, the following is the more common: “Good for van?”

This idea about spending the next year(s) preparing for the future I want has been really good for me. It has created some complications, some clarity and some questions. I have enjoyed purging things from my physical space, reducing my power consumption on a day to day basis, and it has even resulted in me having something of a capsule wardrobe selection.

A side effect of this has been that I have been preoccupied with the internet, as a source of interaction. When I get to go on those road trips I am pretty sure I can power my laptop and iPad without any issues, but, whats the point in having a powered up laptop is there is nothing to use it for?

A down side of spending time in a an is the excellent change of being without internet access. This isn’t something which worries me, but it is something I think about.

My writing won’t be effected as Scrivener is an entirely offline application. I have local backups of a lot of video media and my kindle contains my entire digital book library (I download everything I buy.) My Miyoo Mini has many retro games I can play, and I have my theology books in print. And, for those very odd occasions that access to an LLM would be useful, I have offline options for that too.

I recently purchased a Digital Audio Player (DAP (an MP3 player)) and filled it with songs which can’t be taken away from me by a timed out connection. I have to write an entire post about that, at some point, as I think, it is quite an interesting topic. (It’s a Surfans F28.)

All in all without constant internet access, I’ll be fine. I have enough squirrelled away for basically any road trip I could find myself on.

This got me to thinking though. I am confident that I don’t ‘need’ the internet for anything major, but I have never considered turning off my WiFi.

The reason for this, is in part, because my preparation for some time offline is rooted in some real goals. I don’t want to have to consider internet when I am out adventuring in a van, but I do want to read things, watch things and play things. I am not prepping for an imagined scenario or end of the world event.

However… When I think about my offline time, it does not fill me with dread. It used to. A few years ago the idea of being offline would make me twitch. During lockdown, the internet was a lifeline, but now, I am not sure I wouldn’t miss it the way I once would have done.

I still want to talk to my friends, I would still need to get my Kindle online every so often to get new books. Sooner or later the backed up media I have would go stale. But, an intermittent connection would likely not worry me too much. I could stay in touch with my friends via Email (I already communicate regularly with one friend via email.)

But still, I never turn off my WiFi.

With this in mind, I have considered that perhaps I will spend one day a week without internet. on Thursdays I make a point of not socialising online, I jokingly refer to it as ‘my day off.’

I have a plan, that on Thursdays, going forward, I will turn off my internet connection. Save for two short burst. I will check my bank and email when I wake up, and around nine in the evening I will check email again. This time, in total will be less than fifteen minutes and it should stop me from having any anxiety that life has exploded and no one told me.

This will also mirror the intermittent connection which I am planning for one day ‘copping with.’ I don’t know if this will be a long term experiment or if I will extend it to more days as time goes on, but I sincerely like the idea of having ‘time off’ from the constant stream of data coming.

The very fact that I even feel this digital fatigue is a little telling to me. I don’t regularly look at any social media and I only check news feeds in the early afternoon. I am always connected but I don’t feel that I am ‘terminally online’ in any way.

Maybe the simplifying I have been doing has wormed it’s way into my subconscious and this seems like the next thing to do.

I’ll up date you in a few weeks. I have a feeling that this is going to be interesting.

Digital Minimalism?

Tue, 07 Jan 2025 23:15:26 +0100

I have spent some time reading the Cal newport book ‘Digital Minimalism.’ I’m not that far in, but I picked it up because I was feeling a ‘thing,’ the book, so far, has made me double feel that ‘thing.’ I need to write a full post about the ‘thing.’

The ‘thing,’ if anyone is wondering, is the realisation that I am unhappy with the amount of time I spend attached to the internet, and to my screens. I don’t even think I spend that much time on here compared to most people. I read a while back that the average screen time per day is about 6 hours. Which seems mad to me. My average is about 2 hours, and that feels excessive!

My laptop probably gets more, but that’s when I’m writing. I enjoy writing and don’t really think of it as screen time, despite it literally being that. I think of it as keyboard time.

the paradoxical thing is that I have been reading the digital minimalism book on a Kindle, which is a screen. - I suppose wen I tlak about ‘screen,’ I actually mean ‘internet’

Christianity: Bible translation comparisons and thoughts, from an interested reader.

Mon, 30 Dec 2024 23:45:21 +0100

Recently I was reading the translation notes in my NLT bible and there were a few lines which made me raise an eyebrow. This led me to go on a bit of a deep dive into all the translations which I read.

I am not an expert and all information provided can be found online with ease. All I did was read and collate it with some thoughts.

To be clear, despite this information, I believe all the listed translations are reliable enough to be inspired. This is a narrative on translation philosophy, not an attempt at critique. It is intended to be a research session in which I educate myself and share my findings. I believe they are all good translations for different purposes. However, I have preferences, which I will summarise at the end.

NLT

First Published: 1996 (second major edition was 2004)

Type of Translation: Dynamic equivalence, “Designed to be read aloud,” according to translation notes page.

Translation basis:

– OT: Masoretic Text as primary with comparison to Dead Sea Scrolls, Septuagint, Greek manuscripts, Samaritan Pentateuch, Syriac Peshitta, and Latin Vulgate

– NT: The UBS 4th revised edition and the Nestle-Aland Novum Testamentum Graece 27th edition (basically, the Greek NT)

Examples of translation philosophy: Gender-inclusive language is used where the editors believed that it was appropriate and deity pronouns are not capitalised. Plural pronouns (they, them) are used in place of the masculine singular (he, him) example of this is in Proverbs 22:6 (table below)

The tetragrammaton is rendered as “the Lord” (small caps, no idea how to do that on my keyboard)

– Weights and measures, money, dates and times, etc., are described in modern terms, with footnotes giving the literal translation. For example, John 6:7 reads: “Philip replied, ‘Even if we worked for months, we wouldn’t have enough money to feed them'”, with a note that the Greek text reads “Two hundred denarii would not be enough” and an explanation that a denarius was equivalent to a laborer’s full day’s wage. (Found on wikipedia but I checked the reference)

– When the content of the original language text is poetic in character, NLT has rendered it in English poetic form. NLT sought to break lines in ways that clarify and highlight the relationships between phrases of the text.

– “ten shekels of silver” becomes “ten pieces of silver”

– “denarius” is rendered as “the normal daily wage”

Information sourced from:

– [www.tyndale.com/sites/nlt...](https://www.tyndale.com/sites/nlt/faq)

– [www.bible-researcher.com/nlt2prefa...](https://www.bible-researcher.com/nlt2preface.html)

– [www.tyndale.com/sites/nlt...](https://www.tyndale.com/sites/nlt/translation-process)

– …and, Wikipedia, all claims checked.

NIV

First Published: NT 1973 & OT 1978, 2011 update.

– Updated ‘gender inclusive version’ published 1996, but only in the UK and commonwealth publishing areas.

– 1996, additional: An easier to read version, New International Reader’s Version (NIrV), was published in 1996. It was written at a third-grade reading level, to enable those with limited English literacy levels, the ability to read the Bible

– 2011: Many criticisms addressed and minor changes made.

Type of Translation: Hybrid of literal and phrase-by-phrase.

Translation basis:

– OT: Biblia Hebraica Stuttgartensia Masoretic Hebrew Text. Other ancient texts consulted were the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Septuagint, the Samaritan Pentateuch, the Aquila, Symmachus and Theodotion, the Latin Vulgate, the Syriac Peshitta, the Aramaic Targum, and for the Psalms the Juxta Hebraica of Jerome. (Source: wikipedia, checked)

– NT: New Testament was the Koine Greek language editions of the United Bible Societies and of Nestle-Aland. (Source: Wikipedia, checked)

Examples of translation philosophy: The NIV should not be confused with the NIrV or the NIV-Gender-Inclusive-Version. I would encourage you to check all claims as these versions have been confused, often intentionally, online.

– The 2011 edition of the NIV aims to avoid using “he” or “him” as the default reference to an unspecified person.

– “the Lord of hosts” and “God of hosts” have little meaning, this version renders them “the Lord Almighty” and “God Almighty.”

– The word προσερχόμενον – means “he who comes” and is in the male singular accusative case. Yet the NIV translates this with the gender-neutral “anyone who comes.” (nickcady.org)

The tetragrammaton is rendered as “Lord” (small caps, still no idea how to do that on my keyboard)

– NT Wright commented saying: “if a church only, or mainly, relies on the NIV it will, quite simply, never understand what Paul was talking about.”

– Mark Given (Missouri State University) commented saying “several inaccurate and misleading translations” since many sentences and clauses are paraphrased, rather than translated from Hebrew and Greek.

– Poetical passages are printed as poetry, that is, with the indentation of lines and separate stanzas

Information sourced from:

– [www.christianitytoday.com/1997/06/b...](https://www.christianitytoday.com/1997/06/bibles-hands-off-my-niv/)

– page 51: [books.google.co.uk/books](https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=6i2xvonpvMwC&redir_esc=y) (NT Wright comments)

– Mark Given (Missouri State University): [web.archive.org/web/20161...](https://web.archive.org/web/20161012024005/http://courses.missouristate.edu/markgiven/rel102/bt.htm)

– [s45600.pcdn.co/wp-conten...](https://s45600.pcdn.co/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/The-Development-and-Use-of-Gender-Language-in-Contemporary-English-Collins-Report.pdf)

– [www.thenivbible.com/niv-trans...](https://www.thenivbible.com/niv-translation-philosophy/)

– [midmichigannow.com/news/loca...](https://midmichigannow.com/news/local/gender-neutral-2011-niv-bible-creates-controversy)

– [web.archive.org/web/20090...](https://web.archive.org/web/20090906220811/http://content.usatoday.com/communities/religion/post/2009/09/bible-politics-a-new-new-new-niv-announced-today/1)

– [www.bible-researcher.com/niv-prefa...](https://www.bible-researcher.com/niv-preface.html)

– [nickcady.org/2018/06/1...](https://nickcady.org/2018/06/13/making-sense-of-different-bible-translations-part-3-gender-inclusive-language-and-the-niv/)

– …and, Wikipedia, all claims checked.

NKJV

First Published:

– OT: 1982

– NT: 1979

Type of Translation: considered to be a word-for-word (complete equivalence) translation, which I found surprising.

Translation basis:

– The NKJV is described by Thomas Nelson as being “scrupulously faithful to the original King James Version, yet truly updated to its clarity and readability. (wikipedia, source no longer available)

– A note from me: This does not seem to be totally accurate as different translational choices were made (as illustrated by footnotes and other consulted texts, however the core of the statement appears to hold.

– A word that occurs 11 times in the NKJV: “Hades.” In each of those places, the KJV has “hell” instead.

Examples of translation philosophy: Honestly, in this case its worth reading the Pronouns section of this site [www.tbsbibles.org/page/TheN...](https://www.tbsbibles.org/page/TheNewKingJamesVersion?srsltid=AfmBOoo2WzyTiFMMDujmGT7egxObeuYd7iOY4ddluq8g629dsfKaAJGH#Pronouns) Because there is a lot there to unpack but here are the highlights:

the KJV uses older English pronouns like “thou,” “thee,” and “ye,” which are singular and plural forms respectively, while the NKJV modernizes these pronouns to “you”

Specifically the NKJV replaces most “thou” and “ye” pronouns with “you” which can sometimes lead to ambiguity in certain verses

Tetragrammaton rendered as “LORD” in all capital letters

Information sourced from:

– [web.archive.org/web/20210...](https://web.archive.org/web/20210823082918/http://www.bible-researcher.com/nkjv.html)

– [www.bible-researcher.com/nkjv.html](https://www.bible-researcher.com/nkjv.html)

– [www.bible-researcher.com/comma.htm...](https://www.bible-researcher.com/comma.html)

– [www.gotquestions.org/New-King-...](https://www.gotquestions.org/New-King-James-Version-NKJV.html)

– [byfaithweunderstand.com/2020/03/1...](https://byfaithweunderstand.com/2020/03/13/why-do-our-tr-only-brothers-reject-the-NKJV-with-such-passion-the-trinitarian-bible-societys-examination-of-the-new-king-james-version/)

– [cdn.ymaws.com/www.tbsbi...](https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.tbsbibles.org/resource/collection/D4DCAF37-AEB6-4CEC-880F-FD229A90560F/What-Todays-Christian-Needs-to-Know-about-the-NKJV.pdf)

– [www.tbsbibles.org/page/What...](https://www.tbsbibles.org/page/WhatTodaysChristianNeedsToKnowAboutTheNewKingJamesVersion?hhsearchterms=%22nkjv%22)

– [www.paulkhosla.org/blog/ive-...](https://www.paulkhosla.org/blog/ive-shelved-my-nkjv-maybe-you-should-too)

– …and, Wikipedia, all claims checked.

KJV

First Published: 1611

Copyright: Public domain

Type of Translation: considered to be a word-for-word (complete equivalence)

Translation basis:

– OT: Masoretic Text, Apocrypha: Septuagint and Vulgate

– NT: Textus Receptus

Examples of translation philosophy: Its not modern English so you need to put some work in

– “T” pronouns are singular: Pronouns starting with “t” (thou, thee, thy, thine) always refer to a single person.

– “Y” pronouns are plural: Pronouns starting with “y” (ye, you) are used for multiple people

– Luke 2:33 is an example where the KJV and NKJV refer to Joseph, where other translations refer to ‘his father’ which actually lacks clarity while paraphrasing, which is the opposite of the intended purpose. there are multiple cases of this which are outlined in [www.scionofzion.com/kjcompari...](https://www.scionofzion.com/kjcomparisons.html) ← honestly after reading through this, I have reassessed my thoughts on translations somewhat.

Information sourced from:

Please note the KJV is the only translation which has been referred to as a ‘new revelation’ and there are many people who a ‘KJV only’ – As far as I know most of these people do not accept NKJV as an option, despite its similarities and identical textual source.

– [nickcady.org/2018/06/0...](https://nickcady.org/2018/06/06/making-sense-of-different-bible-translations-part-2-the-king-james-bible/)

– [www.thebereancall.org/content/s...](https://www.thebereancall.org/content/september-1992-q-and-a-3?sapurl=Lys5MjZkL2xiL2xpLyt3dm44dWs4P2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZSZyZWNlbnRSb3V0ZT1hcHAud2ViLWFwcC5saWJyYXJ5Lmxpc3QmcmVjZW50Um91dGVTbHVnPSUyQnd2bjh1azg=)

– [www.gotquestions.org/KJV-only....](https://www.gotquestions.org/KJV-only.html)

– [joshuateis.com/2019/11/2...](https://joshuateis.com/2019/11/25/the-history-of-kjv-onlyism/)

– [www.scionofzion.com/kjo.htm](https://www.scionofzion.com/kjo.htm)

– [www.scionofzion.com/kjcompari...](https://www.scionofzion.com/kjcomparisons.html)

– [www.scionofzion.com/luke_2_14...](https://www.scionofzion.com/luke_2_14.html)

– …and, Wikipedia, all claims checked.

Conclusion

While I have given you a somewhat confusing outline and comparison of each bible translation which were of interest to me, the attached web links give more context to each section. I read it all. and a lot more on top of that. After literally days, (and days) of reading I came some surprising conclusions (at least, to me.)

Up until this point have favoured two translations they have been the NLT for group study and reading for enjoyment and the NKJV as a more formal source for studying.

After all this research and consideration, I think there is a case to consider the KJV with more weight than I previously did. I also can not find a major inconsistency between it and the NKJV, as all NKJV printings offer excellent foot notes and translation notes where there are differences to the KJV. As the NKJV has promised, none of these are doctrinal in nature.

Before all this I knew of some of the controversy regarding early NIV editions and have always taken it as a secondary source for study. I now consider this a wise decision.

Even assuming the absolute worse comments about all these translations are correct, I don’t think that there is a ‘wrong’ choice, however, can’t help but think more highly of the KJV now. But, I think there is a chance, that it is historical weight which has added to this opinion.

Hyperbolic and overly confident opinion: NKJV maybe the best translation! and any translation which ends with something other than “Amen” is trash, because the poetry of Amen as the last word is too good not to use!!

My 2024, in review.

Thu, 26 Dec 2024 19:03:10 +0100

The end of the year is looming, and we approach the dark, melancholic week which sets its home between Christmas and the new year. Like a troll on a bridge, the week of limbo must be defeated to pass into the glorious bastion of twenty twenty-five.

Which, is an overly dramatic way of saying that it’s the time of year when I reflect on where I am and how I got here. Nothing too deep, but I like to check in and think about some things.

Tagets?

I don’t believe that the tradition of “New Year’s resolutions” is healthy, useful, or enjoyable but these are the personal points of importance which I set myself in 2024. These were set at various points rather than on January first.

Write more.

This is the eternal goal. Write more. Then write some more, and, then, a little more. This year I have released two novellas. The Chronicles of Ned: Space to Breathe, and Denouement: Of Gods and Vampires. I have also partly written Denouement 3. I have to admit though, I could have written more. I have found myself distracted by many things over the last couple of months.

I think part of it maybe my workflow and tooling. While I enjoy Scrivener, at times I sense that there is a lot happening with the UI/UX which pulls my mind out of the actual writing. Not least of which is the fact that its typewriter scrolling is a strange, unpredictable beast. That’s not to say in any way that Scrivener has worked against me. I wrote plenty this year and I genuinely think that my writing has been, well, pretty good. But, ever since ‘Literature & Latte’ announced that they were working on a new writing application, I have been more willing to acknowledge Scrivener’s flaws. I don’t understand why that had any effect on me really. The result, though, is that I have been a little distracted by the flaws in my current application. I think Scrivener is actually, maybe, a little ‘long in the tooth’ in some ways. Also, I am dreadful at remembering to use the distraction-free mode, and that’s on me.

The main issue that has bugged me with Scrivener is that switching devices is harder than it should be. If I use iPad or iOS, I get a scary popup when I return to laptop, and it raises my irrational writer’s dread about losing words. It has never lost anything, but I have had to manually intervene with the sync. It just feels absurd that I have these problems with an application that has been around as long as Scrivener has.

Outside of Scrivener musings, I have had a lot going on this year with work. It has left me, on many occasions, too mentally drained to write with any gusto. That can’t be helped. And again, as I have said, I did release two things this year, so it’s not like I’m slacking. My personal aim to write more and write better, has simply not been met.

I think there have been at least a few months when I have been a little ‘down,’ generally. I don’t like writing when I’m not feeling ‘up.’ Actually, I should probably be a little more honest and say that I have been quite emotionally low, for at least a half of this year. I got out of myfunk, and it was nowhere near depression. Not at all what some people have to deal with. My ‘sad’ was not clinical or in need of professional support. But, I have been less than myself at times in 2024, and it affected my writing in ways I didn’t expect. I think it has to do with being quite lonely, over all, in life.

Have fewer subscriptions.

I set out with the goal of not subscribing to non-entertainment services in 2024. I know this is a convoluted way to say it, but I can’t get away from paying for streaming video services. I don’t have broadcast television, and I do want to watch TV shows from time to time. Paying for streaming services is just something I want to jettison from my life at this time. I probably will at some point, but right now, no.

I did however manager to not pay for Notion, Obsidian, task managers, storage solutions or other services for most of 2024. I jumped back onto Todoist as my task manger about three months ago because it made my job easier. After some reflection, I realised that Things 3 was fine for my personal life, but not ideal for work.

My solution to this has been looking at services like Craft/Notion/Click-up. Basically, if I can make a work dashboard, I can approach each day as a ‘task sheet’ rather than a task manager category. I am explaining this badly, but I want my task manger to be for my life, not my job. I want to look at it and see tasks that exist outside my work. This, in reality, means I have to subscribe to something specifically for work. I think it’s worth the cost to separate my two personas. I wasn’t too fussy which service and Craft had an excellent sale recently, so I went with that. I hope in 2025 I can be more clear with my life/work concerns and draw that proverbial line in the sand, mentally speaking.

While Todoist has made me more productive, over all, I have ended up thinking about work more than I care to, of an evening. This has been because I can see those tasks lined up for the following day. There is no profile switching in Todoist and it hasn’t been great to have it all in one place.

I think I have been more selective about subscriptions overall, and this has been good for me.

More exercise

In the summer, I walked my dog at least a mile every day and picked up heavy things before my evening shower. I did well. I lost weight and felt better. Winter hit me hard, though. He’s a short-haired Chihuahua, and they don’t do well in the cold. Without the habitual daily walking, my desire to pick up heavy things has also faded. I have a home treadmill, but for the last two months I have had a knee injury which has prevented me from using it.

I hope to get back to good eating and regular moving in the next month or so. I would rather not screw my knee up any more than I have, so I am being cautious as all heck.

Still, as soon as the cold goes, the dog will be back to his daily marching, and I’ll get a lot more steps in.

Simplify life.

I have had a year-long drive to simplify life. This was first evident in my desire to jettison subscriptions, then, became even more intentional when I started simplifying my physical space by aggressive decluttering my home.

I have even stopped using my computer monitor and external keyboard. My personal tastes are trending towards simplicity and minimalism. It has been really good for me and, I think, a large part of what pulled me out of that funk I spoke about earlier. Feeling more intentional has really made me happy.

I also have to accept that simplifying has taken time. Every aspect of my life has become more streamlined, and the physical decluttering took time. There is still more to be done, but I have come a long way. I have spent many hours packing boxes and cleaning cupboards. This is all time which could have been spent writing. The decluttering work is actually how I injured my knee, so it’s hilarious to me that I call it out as a source of joy.

I still want to jettison the last of my physical books and remove some other items from my life. This includes a plan to change my wardrobe contents and further clear my home office.

Religion.

For clarity, I attend a Pentecostal Christian church (an Elim Church.)

My time with the Bible has been the single biggest source of joy in my life this last year. It sustained me through the ‘sad bits’ of the year and gave me inspiration, resolve, and motivation to keep improving my life and myself as a person.

I have become closer with my church friends too, which has also been a source of joy. I look forward to our group meetings on Wednesday nights and always take a lot away from the time.

I know some people will eye role hard at the next paragraph but I feel like saying it is important to me because I wanted this post to be honest and clear.

I love God, and that is the simplest way I can say it. Jesus is the single most influential person in my life, and that should not be taken as a statement which is devaluing to the rest of the people. Jesus is the direction which I strive, and I am certain that it has made me a better man. It has certainly got me through the tough times, and no doubt, will continue to do so when required.

The unplanned persona change.

When HexDSL started the year, he didn’t intend to finish it as Dandelion-Utilitarian. It wasn’t planned at all, but as part of the funk clearing, I needed to make a change. Feel like the online persona alteration has resulted in a clear message that I am who I actually am. I think there was an expectation by many historical YouTube viewers that I would behave in a specific way and I disappointed them. I never made any promises, but the name change seems to have made it clear to them that I do not intent to behave the way they wanted me to.

Was 2024 a success?

Honestly, there have been some high points on this year, as well as some notable lows. The truth though has been that most of this year has been ‘bland’ for me personally. I have felt aimless at times and especially in the early part of the year, just not very ‘good,’ generally.

I think part of my overall ‘meh’ about the year has been that my daughter went off to university and that took quite a lot of my general routine and threw it away. This left me thinking hard about what I wanted, sans child and I don’t think I had a good answer for a while.

Now I’m approaching the final death rattles of the year, I can say with honesty that I currently have motivation, drive, and targets. I know where I’m going, it just took me a while to find the right map for the stars I was looking at.

2025 plans and declarations!

This is easy. Here is the plan, it’s so simple I can bullet list it for you!

Become for financial stable, through better decisions. — I’m not terrible with money, not at all, but this year I’m going to be decisive with my budget and get the last of my historical debts paid off.
Read more. — I read. I read a lot, but this next year I want to make it my default pastime when I am in that ‘what should I do’ mood. Reading more is never bad, not for any human. I would like to read more of the Bible too, maybe I’ll do one of those daily reading plans.
Walk more. — with or without dog. As soon as my knee feel better (hopefully in the upcoming weeks) I’m going to try to log more steps each week. Doesn’t have to be massively more, but I want my average step count to go up each and every week for 2025. I may even buy a cheap step counting watch. Hopefully, Casio sell something super cheap that doesn’t need to be charged a lot.
Write more. — I mean, there isn’t a lot to say here. I write more, and I feel better in my soul. I should write more. Likewise, I think I could do more on my website too.

There we are. Four bullets for a better me.

I also hope that in limbo-week next year, I will be in a position where I can talk about how I am finally ready to buy that camper van/motor home I have wanted for the last five years. I would rather not make ban financial decisions either, so I have told myself that I’m going to wait for a year. But, I think it maybe in good position to start shopping, this time next year.

Please tell me about your 2024, and plans for 2025, in the comments. Or shoot me an email.

Thanks for reading.

Dandy.

Towards the light.

Sun, 22 Dec 2024 20:56:30 +0100

Recently I tried the dark mode on my Kindle for the first time since I have had it. It’s strange that I ever tried it at all, give that in the decade or more I have been using Kindles, it has never before occurred to me that dark mode maybe a viable option.

My verdict after an hour was this: Dark mode is awful. It’s a horrible way to read. The light text on the black backdrop makes the words lack definition and the whole thing feels oppressive.

Now, A Kindle is essentially a device with one purpose. It shows you words. If words are far, far worse in dark mode on the device which has one task, and its good at that task, then is there a chance that perhaps I have been wrong in my assessment of dark mode everywhere else?

As you know, I am a man who is not afraid to try new things. I went directly to my MacBook and pressed that ‘light mode’ button, for the first time. I then went to my phone and both my iPads and pressed the button for glorious sunshine! (Yes, I have, and use two iPads, don’t judge me!)

Obviously, I hated it instantly. My computer didn’t feel like my computer and my phone felt like it had been factory reset. It just felt like things were failing to load correctly. It all felt wrong.

I ignored my inner petulance and kept on changing my applications to sunburn mode.

I sat all of yesterday morning feeling annoyed with my computer. It was like it had betrayed me somehow. I felt like I had taken a step back in ‘coolness’ and was betraying my cyberpunk dreams for a vista of white oppression.

But then, as the day went on, something happened.

I was feeling less eye strain and I didn’t even know I was getting eye strain before I changed! As the day went on, and I began working in lower light, it just felt more comfortable generally. I was still repulsed by the visuals, aesthetically. I just hate it. However, I have to admit, the light UI feels like less of focal point and the content feels like it just pops more. When I was writing I felt like the words were the main attraction, not the application assets.

I stuck with it and am now a day into my experiment.

I have no idea if it will ‘take’ long term, but I have to say, it does feel like it’s overall just easier to see, which makes me smile because I would have bee complaining about it being too bright a few years ago. Maybe it’s my 44 year old eyes and smaller screen size doing tricks. And, to be clear, light mode Discord looks literally broken!

I have always felt like people who use their computer in light mode were leaving it ‘stock,’ or didn’t know there was an option for something else. Now though, I have to re-evaluate this bias because they may be right to leave it the way it comes. Perhaps this is even why the default mode on most devices is the light mode. The manufacturers know, and, have been trying to tell us this entire time.

This isn’t to say I’m bashing dark mode in any way. I love the way it looks; dark mode is cool. I did some web searching (via DEVONAgent, because the web is dead to me… thats another topic though) and it does appear that there is no general medical, or specifically optometrical benefit to dark mode, there is a real benefit to correctly using brightness controls, but that seems to be separate to your preference in themes.

My plan at this time is to keep all my devices in light mode until the new year and then switch back and see if a major preference emerges. Honestly I’m rooting for darkness because I really like it, that said, if I can see more with less eye strain in light mode, I’ll use it.

Give light mode a try. Or, if you are already an advocate of the light side, drop a comment and let me know why. I would like to see as many opinions as possible regarding this.

I’ll update you in the new year.

Writing a novella – ‘Of Gods and Vampires’ (coming soon)

Thu, 12 Dec 2024 23:17:44 +0100

I wrote a thing. For Christmas. It is not ‘Christmasy.’

When I say that I write it for Christmas, that’s not entirely true, it just happens that it’s basically finished, and it also happens to be mid-December.

‘Of Gods and Vampires’ is a short novel following the adventures of two characters from Denouement (the first one.) It’s a pop-SCIFI adventure novel which is episodic and at times high action. If you have never read a Denouement story, then you may not ‘get’ the setting but hey, give it a go, you may like it.

Ta’ra and Raf, our two heroes are covert operatives of an ‘active’ force which is part of a religious order. They try their best to stay out of trouble, but between turning into bats, defying gravity and fighting armies of werewolves, trouble is where they start. Also, there’s a dragon, which is pretty cool.

A little while ago I decided that making money out of my writing was not something which was a huge motivator for me, so I’ll be making it available on this site a few days before Christmas. As has become my habit with these things, I will publish the text here, as well as the PDF, but if you want an ePub you will have to go to Itch, where you can ‘pay what you want’ for it, starting at nothing. It will, eventually make its way to kindle, but likely not until the final Denouement book is released.

The novella will be posted on this site, at some point over the Christmas period. So… I guess this is a teaser post, which is very modern of me

Dandelion-Utilitarian has a NET & a COM

Sun, 01 Dec 2024 18:33:08 +0100

I wanted to take a moment to than explain something which I have only recently realised maybe confusing. Both Dandelion-Utilitarian.com and Dandelion-Utilitarian.net exist.

The dot com, is my main public facing WordPress site. It is where you will find my curated articles and my Niceferatu comic posts. And, of course, my more long-form writing releases.

The dot net however, is a Micro.Blog powered feed. It contains all the main page posts from the dot com, as well as anything which you may consider ‘a stream of ideas.’ This includes photos, sketches, half written ideas, paragraph vibe tests, and lets face it, fully loaded nuggets of nonsense.

There is, of course, also my even less ‘sharable’ content over on Void. Which is mostly not designed to be read.

This has been your internet awareness update.

With love, Dandy.

The Hex has been lifted.

Fri, 29 Nov 2024 23:10:10 +0100

We all move on from things, and it often feels like a good move, it feels liberating and enchiching. I have had a lot of that feeling of liberty recently has I have been doing a very utilitarian decluttering of my home. Moving on from an online persona, however, feels like a death, more than a purge. I have been known socially as ‘Hex’ since college, when the movie Hackers was the greatest thing my friends and I had ever seen and we were all very edgy witchcraft obsessed teens. In part the movie ‘The Craft’ is likey as responsible as ‘Hackers’ was, for the cyber-gothic ’90s brew we had fermented into.

I have vivid memories of being a teenager, sitting alone at night screwing with under-powered computers, playing Quake and listening to talk shows, on the actual radio. Whether or not I would hold these moments in my memory so lovingly if I had been more of a social critter, I don’t know. As it is, however, when I think of how I became the man I am today, it’s the combination of tinkering, thinking and desperately wanting to be as cool as Dade Murphy which forged me.

Later when I had my own house, I had been Hex for years. But I had taken a break from the internet, due to having a gown-up life. Those early adult years were hard and after a few false starts I was ready to return to my online life. Finally with the daughter sleeping through the night and enough money to pay the important bills, bills which included, fabulously, my first aDSL internet connection, I was back.

The BT Voyager 100 arrived in an unassuming brown box. I plugged it in to my cobbled together computer which was sat against the wall on a coffee table, as I didn’t have a desk. After poking at it for a few minutes I got the lights to flash a promising, healthy, green. I realised I would need a new email address. I knew I was ‘Hex’ but sadly that hotmail account was long since taken. I Looked at the little box on my coffee-desk and in that moment HexDSL was given life.

The bricks that made him, made me, filled in over the next few years. Hex liked to believe he was a free thinker while scooping up conspiracy blogs like they were pop-tarts. He also loved 80s movies and never actually stopped playing Quake

He was never very good at video games, he wasn’t able to think freely from his conspiracy laden RSS feed and he had thought ‘A New Hope’ was the best Star Wars movie. Which all proved that he was an idiot. I would like to point out that we are all idiots in our twenties, so please don’t judge him too harshly.

The years rolled by, and the baby turned into a teenager, the wife turned into ‘the ex’ and the coffee-desk turned into a home office with more technology than a Borg cube after a fresh assimilation mission. I loved Linux, I loved comic books and I loved ’80s movies… I guess that one stuck for a lot longer than some of the others.

By this time I was pretty sure that ‘Empire’ was the best Star Wars movie and my distro of choice was Arch. I took these opinions and insights along with me when I started my YouTube channel. I was under qualified to make a technology channel and not skilled enough to be a gaming channel. I talked about comic books for a bit, before I started asking the question, ‘does this run on Linux?’

The next few years were spent certain that Linux was the future, everyone would be better off leaving Windows behind and actually, the prequel trilogy was criminally underrated.

The final form of HexDSL thought Debian was the best distro. He thought Star Wars was mostly crap and was happy to book a day off work to play Stellaris with his friends and then talk about it on his YouTube based podcast.

Then one day, HexDSL died and he didn’t notice.

I started writing, and as I did, I realised that I needed a Windows computer to do that without any barriers. I started talking about things I had read rather than things I had played and I was pretty sure that Casablanca was actually far better than Star Wars.

The next two years rolled by as the corpse of HexDSL rotted away.

I didn’t care for YouTube anymore because the more talked about writing, writing-tools and systems, the more the HexDSL viewers complained. Sure, I picked up a few writing hungry viewers and even some people who wanted to know my thoughts about plot structure. But, most of them kept ‘subscribed’ for one simple reason – people rarely clear out their YouTube subscriptions list.

I got one particular comment, by email, if I recall, which was softly complaining about how I had changed and I think that was when I actually realised that HexDSL was dead. It was his funeral emotionally speaking.

I spent the next few months wearing his corpse.

I wanted to honor the persona of HexDSL, so I kept going longer than I should. I once told someone that I used to be HexDSL and it rang true in ways I didn’t expect.

I had known the term ‘Dandelion-Utilitarian’ was rolling around in my head for months. I had used it repeatedly in conversation and as a temporary discord name. I liked it and the images it conjured up. I really am quite utilitarian but anyone who has read this far into one of my posts also knows that I am something of a literary dandy. It fit well but I hadn’t realised it was more than an amusing nugget I liked.

Wing, my good friend, and Trendy Talk co-host, created a micro blogging platform called Void and as part of some friendly banter one of my other friends set-up his account in the name of HexDSL. He impersonated me for a few amusing posts and then offered to hand over the name to me.

I was surprised myself when didn’t care. It wasn’t that I had no attachment to the name, it was actually a relief to not be forced into that particular corpses clothes.

On Void I had picked up the quill and hat of the Dandelion and I liked it. I was Happy not being HexDSL. Dandy didn’t have any self imposed expectations. He didn’t have an agenda, image or opinion on things. He was just me.

A few more months rolled on. I had almost entirely stopped playing video games even socially and was happy plugging away at some project or another while my friends played games and we hung out in discord voice chats.

A few weeks ago now I decided it was time to stop pretending to be HexDSL. Hex liked games, and movies and tinkering with things. Dandelion likes writing, thinking and cares about his Kindle for more than his movie collection.

At some point I turned into someone else and because I had been dragging the corpse of my old self around the internet with me, I was starting to resent him. The truth is I cherish my time as HexDSL. I reflect on all the people he allowed me to meet, all the things he taught me and all the late nights fiddling with code.

I can no longer fulfill the implied promises HexDSL made to the people he touched through is videos, discord rambles and Steam library adventures. I have now filled in his grave and all but killed the HexDSL persona/brand and mission.

Who is Dandelion, thats the question which I now need to answer for myself. I know the following things about him.

He likes books about theology, adventure, detectives, and thinks perhaps he judged fantasy novels too harshly.

He has seen enough eighties movies and doesn’t think Star Wars is very good. His favorite movies are Mean Girls and Casablanca but he refuses to acknowledge the irony of that in the way HexDSL used to.

He likes to keep his desk, office and life as simple as it can be. He has a laptop on a desk. not an RGB gaming powerhouse.

He doesn’t care about the expectations that people place upon him. He is no longer seeing approval from strangers.

He likes to write his novels, stories and articles. But, where HexDSL asked you things and warned you that he was going to ramble. Dandy tells you things about himself, and the things he has noticed. he is aware that you are free to stop reading. He really doesn’t mind.

HexDSL dreamed of ‘making it’ in some way. He wanted to be a writer, a YouTuber. He wanted to be someone. Dandelion wants to enjoy life, and plans on retiring into a van with a small dog, he will fill his days writing, drawing and reading. He hopes he can meet some nice people along his travels.

Drawing, writing and sitting in the garden with his Dog are things that HexDSL did too, but Dandelion basks in them, enjoying the small things. He isn’t waiting for anything anymore.

All those people who are mad that HexDSL isn’t making gaming videos should move on now that I have made clear that HexDSL is over, dead, expired. They are welcome to stay if they care about the things I do now. I hope they do.

Up to this point this article is over 1600 words long. All these words are probably the least utilitarian way of saying this…

Hello,

It’s nice to meet you.

Call me Dandy.

Static, in motion – The formation of a man with terrible taste.

Thu, 28 Nov 2024 23:03:50 +0100

The Outer Limits opening contains the now legendary words, “we will control the horizontal, we will control the vertical.” Like many kids, watching the scary black and white episodes through a half broken television, on a raining evening, the words were seared into my mind, along with pregnant tonal whistle which accompanied it.

This struck me as something magical as child, in the same way that the opening line of Neuromancer hit me as an adult, “The sky above the port was the color of television tuned to a dead channel.”

Both of these play with the idea of television as an allegoric representation of control. With the Outer Limits we see absolute control by a nameless, faceless, force. Meanwhile, William Gibson conjures the random, wild field of static. Offering infinite possibility awaiting form. Though, as I said when I wrote about the opening line of this book, the modern world a television tuned to static is probably a solid blue screen, for some reason. But, if I accept that here, my already stretched simile falls down like the rain falling on the sprawl in the middle of the neon glowing night.

I think the reasons which these ideas resonate so much with me is that I have always been fascinated by control, by forces which pull the fateful strings that may weave my own life. This idea has manifested over and over in my tastes, in my selections of entertainment and in my writing.

Words with a way

The first example of this I can think of, save for the Outer Limits on that old television, which sported a wooden veneer shell, which somehow fixes the memory in time an space, was the narrative spaghetti of the ‘choose your own way adventure’ genre if book, which I loved as a kid. I never had my own books, I had to explore them exclusively at the school library, which thinking back, was really a small room with a few book cases and long curtains, never the less, that was where I first learned that stories can be lies.

Flicking through one particular book I realised, that the unwritten rule of following the story, starting over with each failure, was a in fact a nefarious ruse. I was quite able to stick my thumb in one page while doing reconnaissance deeper into the book, seeing if my choices ended in death or another jump in the chessboard of chance.

This bending of the rules became outright breaking a few visits later when I learned that I could chart my path through, noting down all my choices. Fast-tracking my next adventure to avoid the endless chain of deaths felt like a miracle to me. It was only later that I discovered a new layer of complexity when the ‘fighting fantasy’ novels forced me to track my own health points and items.

The lesson I learned that day was probably the reason that I have always found cheating in video games to be a consumingly pointless endeavor. It’s the chance of loss which adds meaning to a decision. Once my choice to fight the dragon became an option, rather than a commitment, the dragon no longer cast its terrifying show across me. The enemy was a test of logic not a test of steel. Which path did the writer of the book except me to take, and which did that writer want to lead to success.

The next phase became reading the book and trying to glean the writers personality. What would they think was the coolest thing to do? could I use this to predict a safe path. Now even with cheating, I was doing battle. Learning how my adversary fought. It was only the final decision which really mattered. Was I right in my assessment of the wordsmith, or was I always to simply err on the side of awesome?

The books eventually felt like maps rather than narratives, but, a pattern was forming in my wants, even then.

Pulp Fiction fantasy

As I grew, I began developing a taste for a specific kind of fiction. Be it television, books, short stories or movies. I wanted to see the impossible be beaten. Science Fiction became my poison of choice and the things I loved, were universally the most trope steeped, Deus ex Machina fueled tripe that I could get.

I didn’t care how bad the effects were. I didn’t care how bad the acting was. I was there for the writing. And, there was a specific type of writing I was hungry for. I wanted something which let me see a little of the person behind the keyboard. Sadly, most of the stuff that my nascent brain found satisfying was commonly considered to be ‘shite.’

One film which I loved as a sixteen year old seeker of sci-fi satisfaction was the Rutger Hauer driven epic ‘Crossworlds.’ The plot of this movie was sheer pulp. At times is didn’t even make sense. The bones of it are as such…

Multiple dimensions existed along side our own. To traverse these dimension one simply needed to follow ‘paths’ between worlds. One example is that when we burst into our heroes ‘barn’ (I don’t remember, it was like an aircraft hanger, if I recall) you would find storage crates and dust. However, if you stepped between two oddly placed trees before opening the barn you would find him, in his own little pocket of reality. The movie then took this idea and added the time tested trope of a chosen-one who needed to perform menial tasks which led him to win a ten thousand year long war which had been raging between dimensions… although no one seemed to think it was that important until that moment… Also, there was a desert scene for some reason. I am likely, totally misremembering this masterwork.

The more well known movie Tron, also sated my desire for this cross reality story telling. As well as the TV show Sliders and load more movies you could probably list yourself.

I used to think I liked stories about dimensions and other worlds. But, as I said earlier in this confession, I think now that I was really just aware that stories were a patchwork of ideas, imagined places a writers tastes. These movies and shows about reality hopping heroically handsome hippies just sort of, hit me, in the soul.

As my tastes became refined further, I began to notice my own ‘narrative kinks’ and found media of higher quality to sate me. It was this thread which I realised was the reason I enjoyed anthology shows like the now repeatedly reviewed Outer Limits, the Twilight zone, and even monster of the week shows like Doctor Who was that they allowed the writers to write new and different, exciting things as and when they wanted.

As I got a little older I really go into Star Trek. At its core, its an anthology show with consistent and repeated framing devices as narrative shortcuts, to allow them to no- explain the entire of the setting every time (something Twilight zone really suffered with.)

Grant gets it

The comic-book writer Grant Morison has been telling the same story for years now. Flex Mentallo, Animal man, The invisibles and even his Final Crisis run are all examples of the exact same idea. That idea being that fiction is a place. Because of this Grant, if you don’t mind me being so informal, is doing what I love in his Deux Ex Mechanistic marvels. He is allowing fiction to be fiction. He writes himself into the story in Animal man. In Flex Mentallo he explored the nature of reality, and, in The invisibles he proposes that time is a result of will applied to narrative. He wrote a book called Zenith where he traps an entire culture in a crystal that tells a story (Something I’m certain Star Trek just stole from him to house a Sherlock Holmes themed homicidal hologram.) He nailed it for me, but most people find some of his more intense works to be nonsense. For me, the nonsense is a result of treating fiction, as, fiction and using to to explore ideas that we really can’t in real life. I know, all writers say they do this, but Grant was willing to bend the rules by shift genre and allow the reader to be as confused as his protagonists. I adore his work because of this ballsy madness.

I read a series of books called Magic 2.0 a while ago which posed that all of reality was a simulation (original, I know) and the best option once you are ‘in on it’ is to move to medieval England and pretend to be a wizard. While only tangentially related, this is, for me at least, an example of a writer using fiction to ask how life would be, if life, was a fiction.

When I set out to write my own fiction, without even realising my kink, I added these tropes to it. In my first novel, Hunters Garden, I gave my characters a place to rest, the titular Garden. The Garden passed time only when it was convenient for the narrative. Something which the characters themselves knew, though, they didn’t frame it like this. It was something akin to the proposal by CS Lewis, that the characters continue on even when the writer goes on holiday, because for them, time only passes when the writing is happening. The author is free to move around time in a way which they are not. This includes the super power of revision.

When I started on my first real series of books, Denouement, I wanted to explore the idea that reality was new, though it seemed old to those living in it. I then inserted a character who was simply observing in the same way the reader was, who was able to see the odd errors in the logic and history of their normal. This led him to declare, ‘hey, this doesn’t make any sense!’ – Where would the story go from there I mused. Three books or so later, I have my answer.

The reason I am so able to see the thread that binds my tastes is because I have intentionally spent a lot of time thinking about writing, reading and reasons. I know why I like one story and not another. I know why I like things that lots of people don’t and I know this because the muscles I developed writing have allowed me to be thorough in my self-analysis. I also truly believe that most people don’t know why they like one thing and not another. I think in part this is why a lot of people enjoy things that are narrative turds. They don’t actually know what makes a satisfying story, they just know that the story on offer is presenting in a high quality framing. In part this, I think is why crap like Knives Out, Star Wars and a great many Marvel branded offerings do so well. No one realises that they are rubbish because they are so well made.

I don’t say this because of some pretentious desire to claim I know better or can sniff out art where others cannot. Not at all. Actually I’m pretty sure I have terrible taste in media. But, I know what I like and why I like it. I have spent time thinking about it. I watch some total crap. Things I would never recommend to anyone. But, I truly enjoy this junk. I am happy with this junk. The junk defined my love of junk. I am a product of exposure to ideas that are, trope driven shite. But, I know why I like the things I do.

Do you know why you like the things you do?

Kindling, Copyright, Catastrophe

Sat, 23 Nov 2024 19:05:17 +0100

I’ve used a Kindle as my main book-window since the Kindle Voyage was launched in 2014 and since that time I’ve read many a controversy about the way Amazon manage the platform. Most of the reports are actually about copyright law, not Amazon, not directly. I thing which most anti-eBook/anti-Kindle crusaders point at is the time that everyone had their copy of 1984 taken away, one morning in 2009. Rarely does anyone bother asking why Amazon did this, they usually just point and yell. If you’re interested in the minutiae that surrounded this then I suggest you read more than one article as most people are still outraged about it.

The reality is that someone who didn’t own the copyright was selling the book and because of the law around the selling of stolen goods, when the problem was identified it has to get removed. I am all for using this event as a platform to debate the usefulness and fairness of copyright law but the reality is that Amazon didn’t have a lot of choice. They had already given the money for the purchases to the dicey dealer of dystopia, so it was not legally their responsibility to refund anyone. They absolutely should have paid everyone the couple of dollars they spent, I agree. As the business responsible for not checking copyright, they really should have held themselves responsible, yes. But they didn’t, and didn’t legally have to.

Since that time they have been actually pretty careful about copyright. I once had a problem having them list one of my own books because they thought I stole it… from my own website… which was confusing, for me, mostly.

I am no Amazon defender but I have used a Kindle as my main platform for eBooks since that Voyage, which by the way, was at the time, simply the best eReader on the market.

The reason I have always stayed with kindle has been because they have the highest quality devices, and have the most well stocked digital shelves.

It is rare that I have to go outside of the build-in book store for a purchase and when I do, it’s trivial to get the file to my device.

When I looked at alternative hardware in the past, it usually costs about the same and offered a less premium experience. This is less true in recent years if course, there are a lot of options out there now that are all very good, but now I have a large Kindle library as well as being exceptionally familiar with the platform, I don’t want to leave anymore. I know, thats on me.

The DRM debate has always been an abstract argument to me. I read on Amazon hardware, and I use the Amazon store. I have never had to think about DRM in functional, real world terms. I only want to read my purchase on my device and it’s been fine, forever.

But, like all things which are ‘fine’ they are only ‘fine’ until they are not. The kindness of my Kindle finally expired.

I couldn’t figure out why I kept pressing the button to download the book I wanted to read. It kept going ‘dark’ as it does a moment before it begins downloading but then it would flash as if it was done, a moment later, without downloading anything.

I tried on different wifi connections, restarted my device and searched the storage list on the off chance there was a ‘bad’ download half finished or something.

It was only when I finally searched for it in the store, and clicked ‘read now’ that I got an actual error message. This message informed me that I had reached my device limit. To be clear I own two Kindles. A paperwhite and a Scribe. I also use the Kindle app on my iPad mini, from time to time.

I know, opulent!

The really frustrating thing here is that the platform has no capacity to actually expose this information to me outside of the store page. Something of an oversight.

I went to the devices page on the web and removed everything but my two Kindles and tried again. It would appear after some investigation that it was the iPad which pushed me over the license limit for this work. What is extra annoying is that of my large library, no other title has had an issue with my habits.

Now, I don’t know how astute you are, but it’s somehow worse to me that the book in question is the NKJV Bible, printed my Thomas Nelson. A book which is a modern translation of a public domain document, which was released in 1979, and is freely available to read online in at least five places I cant think of without Googling for more. Add to add to that, it’s the Word of God we are talking about here. You can see why I growled at my Kindle, I assume.

As much as I wanted to bark at Amazon, in the moment, I have to remember that it’s the copyright holder who has all the power here. But, before we shrug and blame old Tommy Nuisance for all the problems I had, Amazon make no effort at all to tell you there is a license limit when you buy a book. Actually you are not buying a book at all, you are buying a license to read a book. I am someone who basically understands this principle and doesn’t really object to it, not really, however a great many of the people who use Kindle don’t know or understand, and, that’s not their fault. Amazon doesn’t explain it at any point during the process of setting up a device, or pressing checkout.

Just because a purchase is digital it should not automatically be transient. Any ‘license’ or ‘rental’ or ‘limited access’ is essentially a subscription and we should expect organisations offering subscriptions to make it clear that you are buying access not ownership.

The scam here is the same as it’s always been. Sooner or later if there are enough copies of book in the physical world, everyone can get one for free by asking someone. But if you have a license, then every person who wants the book has to pay for it. You can’t saturate market when a product is tied to a person, and new people keep getting born. You can saturate a market when they can just read their mates book. It really is a scam.

I’m personally okay with this because I just want to read the book, not get involved in political discourse, but… Just because we live in a world where this is normal we should not act like it’s ‘fine’ because eventually its not going to be. That activation limit will lower as companies try to squeeze more money out of us all.

People should be given the chance to understand this before they can’t read their Bible anymore.

Time can’t split. Projects eat time.

Thu, 07 Nov 2024 16:30:32 +0100

No matter how productive I can become, and no matter how skilled I become, I still have twenty-four hours in a day. Much like nothing exceeds the speed of light, no productivity pipeline will break the time barrier. This has never been more evident to me than when I started drawing.

I have been in the habit of writing for a few hours every day for a few years. While I don’t manage to actually accomplish this every day, the habit is formed. If nothing comes up in my day, if no events are happening, at around half six, I’ll start writing. On a weekend, I tend to write from around two in the afternoon. This is my default and I find it calming, productive and rewarding. I think my consistency has made me a better writer and I have, so far, managed to publish/share five (5.5?) books which, I feel, are of a reasonable and increasing quality; each better than the last.

Drawing, however, has been something which, over the past few months, I have greatly enjoyed. Drawing replaced video games as a pastime for me and slotted neatly into a timeslot which was previously for watching TV and playing games socially. I find drawing rewarding. It’s fun, I have progression, and I like it as a potential story telling platform, with my end goal to be one day making my Denouement novel into a comic.

This hobby was all going really well, then, like the goon I am, I started working on a little comic which was intended to be a ‘test’ of how to make a comic. Nicerferatu was birthed. Again, this was, at this point, totally fine, reasonable and enjoyable. I produced a few pages, which are of, I think, increasing quality.

Sounds great, what’s the problem?

Well, the problem, is that the other week, I had a terrible idea. I had the idea of making a multipage comic, something which extends out across around twelve pages in total. There’s no rush to get this finished, right… right? Nope. All I have to do is work on one page at a time, follow my storyboard and script, and receive joy at the end when it’s done. Great… easy.

Did you notice it?

Yeah, I missed it too…

All I have to do is follow my script and my storyboard.

I’m a writer, not an artist, and certainly not a comic-book artist! Having a version of my story framework in my head is not something which works for a visual medium. I needed to think in images now words.

It took me a while to figure out how to make storyboards. An easy theory, but why not use the storyboard as an initial sketch layer? Well, then I needed to have a storyboard with proportions which match the final work. So that took time.

Okay, what goes on each panel or page? I have a vague idea what I want to accomplish, I should do what I know best and write something, ah, yes, a script! I know how to do that… For the following week, after this revelation, my writing time was not spent working on my current project, but on Niceferatu scripts. (For those who asked, yes, the current writing project is Denouement 3, with the working title, ‘A thousand years north.’)

Shockingly, my twenty-four hours did not stretch with my projects. One project suffered at the polite but merciless vampiric hands of the other. I am in a fortunate position of being someone who creates things as a hobby. While I would like to think I produce good quality writings, I don’t have a publisher to sate, or a release schedule to hit. But, the lesson is there, despite the aim of my drawing being to fill a time-slot, as soon as it became something I enjoyed, it leaked out of its temporal container and ate its sibling.

Much like entropy, no force can fight the universal rule of content creations:

Projects eat time. New projects eat the time of more established ones.

The reason for this, in this case, is simple – a new thing feels more pressing than an old thing. My writing is an established habit that has a constant satisfaction and progress. This new project is about learning things and will only take a few weeks to have a sharable thing, something to show for it. Whereas writing takes months. Each project probably only see the light of day after six to eight months of thoughtfully tapping buttons at my desk. The appeal of a shorter term project is appealing.

The darnedest thing is, though, that amidst all this lost writing productivity, I am not mad at my drawing project. I have learned a lot, brushed up on script writing techniques, thought about characters in more visual ways and had a loverly time watching movies while I drew my silly cave rocks and goblin cats.

Making things is fun. While I will probably always consider myself to be a writer first and foremost, learning to draw has been hitting a different creative urge, and I am finding it immensely satisfying, even if it has slowed my writing down a great deal.

Time, the secret eBay offset

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 15:38:12 +0100

As I said in my last post, I have been using eBay recently for the first time in many years. I have even made a pretty reasonable amount of money in exchange for the things which were on my shelf gathering dust.

On paper, it’s gone quite well. Let’s have a look at a sample here:

I purchased a comic book collected volume about five years ago and thanks to the label on the front, I know I paid £8.99 for it. I got it from Forbidden Planet in Coventry if you are curious. I have had my enjoyment out of it as both a good read, and ornament and a dust cover for my shelf.

Fast-forward to now, when I list it on eBay for £6.95 and £2.30 postage and packaging, as guided by the tools in the app.

It sold, and now I have to wrap and send it.

I spent £3 on bubble wrap, £2 on brown paper and £2 on tape. This stuff will be good for probably six or more packages but the total cost seems to average out to around £1 per item for packaging.

Each package takes me up to, but rarely exceeding, 10 minutes to package and affix the label. Assuming I am sending more than one item per ‘session,’ then I am most likely spending no more than 5 minutes per package.

If we assume the source product cost is only the cost of the packaging and time to deliver the package to the carrier, including queueing because it is a dusty book which I don’t want, then we have a financial cost of £1 and a time cost of no more than 20 minutes if it is a single package. We are not counting fuel to get to the store here because I usually drop things off as I pass on the way back from work.

The minimum wage in the UK is £11.44 which is about 19p a minute, so the 20 minutes time has a minimum cost of £3.80. So a single package has a total cost of £4.80.

Sale value: £6.95
Total cost: £4.80
Profit: £2.15

eBay is not worth the effort for anything with a sale value of about £16.00, unless you are selling in bulk or value your own time less than minimum wage.

Time to donate some stuff, I think.

Ejecting things

Sun, 03 Nov 2024 19:16:11 +0100

The things.

It has recently come to my attention that a lot of the stuff in my office has dust on it. This isn’t because I fail to clean my house (I mean, in part it is. Who ‘dusts’?) but it is more that the things in my office are so infrequently used that dust builds up.

The last time I sat down and read a physical comic may have been almost two years ago. Yet, there are two full shelves of trade-paperback in my office.

The last time I read a physical book (other than those in the theology category) was… I hmm… I don’t know. I have had a Kindle for almost a decade and even when I have a physical book, I prefer e-books so usually end up reading the digital versions of things, despite owning the print copy. For reasons I don’t understand, I really like reading theology books in print. Outside of those… Nope, no idea. Yet still, there are books dripping from every shelf of my office.

The last time I played a game that wasn’t from the 90s was almost a year ago, but still, the steam deck sat there with its controllers, power adapters and network cable.

I never need to access my USB ports, but still, the USB dock sat on the desk, proudly at hand.

The butterflies.

I am a productivity enthusiast. I love to-do lists, task managers, calendars and notes. I optimise my workflow and review those optimisations regularly. I enjoy feeling like I am becoming a more optimal version of myself. It brings me great satisfaction. This is a mindset which I bring to my writing, more recently to my drawing, to my professional life and to my personal life. I love to feel that I am improving over time.

Recently, though, the word ‘minimalism’ has appeared on my radar more than once. Actually, it came up on YouTube a lot. I saw multiple videos about people depriving themselves of things to live simpler, save money, and they claimed, be happier. Mostly, I don’t believe them.

“A minimalist lifestyle is a philosophy that involves living with fewer possessions and commitments, and focusing on quality over quantity. It can be a way to reduce distractions, cut back on spending, and gain more clarity on what’s important.”

One example was the Nicholas Garofola channel. While I enjoy his videos a great deal, his way of life is not for me. Not at all. I also stumbled across a man who was trying to live his life from a single bag. I totally ignored that guy. There are plenty of people talking about the topic of living with less on Reddit’s Productivity pages.

I was recommended a book. The book was Everything That Remains which was written by podcasting duo, The Minimalists. I try to, at least, have a look at books which are recommended to me more than once. This one looked interesting to me, so I grabbed it on sale (on Kindle) and let it simmer for a few weeks. It soon became the book I would slowly read through while eating my lunch at work. The book recounted one man’s journey from active businessman, and excessive consumer, to becoming one half of The Minimalists. It chronicled how his life and attitudes changed, and then he shared the story of the benefits he reaped.

I don’t want to write a book review right now, but it’s well worth reading, mostly because it’s so incredibly well written.

Since reading it, I think I have gained an insight into what these minimalist enthusiasts are talking about. And then it happened. I noticed all the things. The comics, the books, the technology and the objects.

I considered if the stuff on my shelves was really worth the space, given that a lot of the books had a layer of dust across them.

Within a few weeks, I had started to eject more and more from my house. Anything which didn’t serve a purpose began being donated, traded, sold or binned. I used the momentum the book gave me to spark a purge of sorts. Clean house, clean mind. Or at least that was the plan.

The issue is that the more I ejected from my home, the better I felt. My bedroom is currently so organised that it feels like I just moved in, and instead of striking me as impersonal, the clarity of the spartan space has made its purpose more clear. I am sleeping better and generating less untidy things to clean up.

My office, however, has still got too much stuff, and this is in part a problem of practicality. I realised that I used to love comic books. The layer of dust on the top of them tells me that I don’t love them anymore. I don’t think I have for a long time. Many of them have enough value to make it worth an eBay listing, which takes time, so I am, slowly, ejecting them from their shelves and into the post office bag. The Steam Deck already went to CEX in exchange for a few hundred quid.

Not even the start

I doubt that the book, or ideology to which I was exposed on YouTube started something for me. In fact, I think I have been on this journey for a while now and hadn’t realised it. I wrote a post here a little while ago where I talked about value, time and productivity. I recounted my desire to play less games, do more fulfilling things and spend my time in ways which I felt that added to my life. I have always thought of myself as a utilitarian at heart, and perhaps he somewhat lapsed over the last few years. It it however loverly to feel once again that I am back on track with my time, my home and my finances.

You may have raised an eyebrow when I said finances but honestly the more minimalist way of looking at things makes you trend towards purchasing less and purchasing better. Something which I have realised has happened organically.

Using less YouTube, playing less games and reaping more from my time has been wonderful and adding a minimalist inspired lens to that has really compounded the clarity and I feel like I am on the path to something rewarding.

A lesson?

As much as I don’t imagine I will ever be a minimalist, I do think that there are lessons to be learned from the ideology. The lesson is to think about what comes in your home, and life, to consider how it will eventually leave.

Seeing the things I have moved on from lose all value to me has reminded me that things I may want in the future will also, one day, lose value to me. This has made me more frugal, generally speaking, as well as making me consider if a purchase is worth the utility it offers over time. It has also made me think deeply about the environment and I have realised that most of the things around me are there because they were useful, or wanted. Not because they are useful, or wanted. The more stuff I eject from my home, the happier I have been, thus far, without exception.

I think taking the time to google all the people talking about minimalism on the internet is well worth the time. Thinking about things like a minimalist, even when you are not one (and don’t want to be one) has an impact and makes you reflect on what you do want out of the material items in your life.

I plan on coming back to this post in a few months and asking myself if the musings which were in my mind as I wrote it are still in there, and report back to see if it truly took hold.

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