Dandelion-Utilitarian

The single scariest moment in my life thus far was last Friday, when I went to the little fridge in my home office to find that there was, in fact, no Pepsi Max (Cherry) in there. The sadness and disappointment, combined with the shock and fear, resulted in an emotional cacophony the likes of which I had never experienced before.

This recounting may well be a little on the hyperbolic side, however, the resulting unravelling and discovery was euphoric. I went to the shop, and would you believe… they had no Pepsi Max (well, no cherry Pepsi) in my moment of disgust, and thirst, I grabbed some concentrate orange pop. Double strength, according to the label.

When mixed strong enough to hand to a cowboy movie hero or a knight of old, it was pretty good.

Now, I pay about a tenner for each tray of twenty-four cans of Pepsi Max (Cherry). I go through a tray a week when its hot (don’t start with me, there are no calories in it and I don’t give a wet poop about the dangers of sweeteners) so, taking advantage of whatever offers are usually on in my store of choice (Asda) I usually get a month’s supply for around thirty English pounds.

There is the mind-blowing thing though, instead of buying more Pepsi Max (Cherry) I investigated the orange dilute options. I found a litre of double dilute orange, with a twist of pineapple (the king of fruit) for one pound, sterling.

This absolute unit of a bottle will mix out to about ten bathtubs of cowboy drinkable nectar (this is not a scientific measurement).

I think for three bones of our dead monarchs (formally pounds) I can drink like a champion all month.

The orange pop contains less caffeine too, so it’s likely less bad for me (not good for me, but less bad than Pepsi Max (Cherry). If the fancy takes me, I could even try a mango twist instead of pineapple (the king of fruits), not that I would want to because pineapple (the king of fruits) is the king of fruits!

I explored the seasonal summer ‘please rip me off with overpriced tat’ aisle and found a four litre plastic barrel with a plastic yellow tap on the site for six golden nuggets. Now, my fridge is an exciting, inviting container of a container of orange awesome.

Money saved, beverage switched. ☺️